ole21 Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Hey guys, so I'm a 17 year old guy and I've had this thing with this girl for the past month or so. It's been great, and what was first just a hook up, has turned into something more and I do like her. It was going really really good, but for the past week or so I've been sick (just a nasty cold), but we've still hung out quite a bit. We can't kiss tho, and it's just killing us, I miss it...a lot. First of all...any tips for getting over a cough? But more importantly, I think for most of the past month I've just kinda sat back and let her come to me. I think it's time for me to be a little more of a man and take a little more initiative. I don't want to just be all over her, and lose her interest, but I want to show her that I do like her. Like we don't see eachother very much during school, so should I go out of my way to see her a little more? What about calling her, should it be strictly to see if she wants to hang out or should I call more just to talk? What's the best way to find a good balance of still playing 'hard to get' but showing her that I am interested and taking a little initiative? Link to comment
ole21 Posted January 31, 2008 Author Share Posted January 31, 2008 No not at all...gifts will just show me sucking up to her and that is not my style. I mean for valentines I'll get her a little something nice, but just out of the blue is not my stlye. Not that I can't do little things out of the blue...surprise her somewhere, buy her lunch..or something like that but I haven't done any of that yet Link to comment
Scoobie Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 No not at all...gifts will just show me sucking up to her and that is not my style. I mean for valentines I'll get her a little something nice, but just out of the blue is not my stlye. Not that I can't do little things out of the blue...surprise her somewhere, buy her lunch..or something like that but I haven't done any of that yet WOW. WOW. Isn't "me sucking up to her" what you wanted to solve? Like, what the heck is wrong with you? Why be so selfish for. She took the initiative for a while, and you refuse just to buy her a simple gift that she will appreciate you for? Link to comment
Scoobie Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 No not at all...gifts will just show me sucking up to her and that is not my style. Your "style" is what destroys marriages and relationships. Men not contributing to the relationship. Always on the take side. Link to comment
ole21 Posted January 31, 2008 Author Share Posted January 31, 2008 Alright maybe that came out wrong but I completely disagree. I've known this girl for a while, and we've had a thing for the past month or so. I'm not against giving gifts, but at such an early stage in a relationship? I think I have a lot more to offer than what I could buy her, so until a little bit down the line, I don't plan on getting her a bunch of gifts. I really do want to contribute more to the relationship (that's the point of this post) but if the only way for me to do that is in the form of gifts...I mean I don't even know what to say. I'm saying contributing in terms of calling her first, setting up a time to hang out, taking the initiative to hug or kiss her...those kind of thing. So...what do you guys think? Link to comment
Scoobie Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Gifts show you care about her and are interested in her. It's not about the gift. It's showing that you were thinking about her. A simple 10-20 dollar gift. You said "should I go out of my way to see her a little more". Why is this not silly? How come you don't say "I mean I don't even know what to say" about going out of your way to see her? You can do all those things that you listed too. But what you said about just sucking up to her is a huge defining aspect that has larger implications. Be careful. Link to comment
kevinm Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Gifts are gifts and OP you might be a little early for that sort of action. I'd suggest something all together different. When I had little to no money and was dating I would make dinner for me and my woman. If you can cook this is a great thing. It shows planning (buying the ingredients), shows works (prep and cooking), shows care (the fact that you are putting yourself into the meal) and it is relatively inexpensive, not to mention the fact that eating is something you need to do anyway. BUT, getting back to the topic a little bit... Yes, you need to show some initiative. Just be there without being a nag. Taking time for someone doesn't have to involve money, it's about time and availability. -Kevin Link to comment
Aleadragonhawk Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Alright maybe that came out wrong but I completely disagree. I've known this girl for a while, and we've had a thing for the past month or so. I'm not against giving gifts, but at such an early stage in a relationship? I think I have a lot more to offer than what I could buy her, so until a little bit down the line, I don't plan on getting her a bunch of gifts. I really do want to contribute more to the relationship (that's the point of this post) but if the only way for me to do that is in the form of gifts...I mean I don't even know what to say. I'm saying contributing in terms of calling her first, setting up a time to hang out, taking the initiative to hug or kiss her...those kind of thing. So...what do you guys think? A gift doesn't have to be something big or expensive or something that will make her interested in you for money - something simple like flowers or a card out of the blue can go a long way. It's good to start taking the initiative, otherwise she might start thinking you aren't interested in her. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 no gifts. not a month into this. all you have to do is be a bit more forward. you don't have to play hard to get. this girl is already into you. but you don't have to be a sucker and start buying her crap. ask her to hang with you on the weekends. call her up 'i have some free time on ______. you should come over OR we should go to the mall.' if this girl hangs with you when you are sick, she likes you. don't go buying stuff as others have suggested. i would never. Link to comment
ole21 Posted January 31, 2008 Author Share Posted January 31, 2008 I definitely agree with you about not buying gifts so early in the relationship. I think I'm actually going to invite her over tonight or see if she wants to hang out. The thing that sucks is that I still have this cough so we can't kiss. I know there's much more to every relationship than the physical stuff, but because it's new and exciting we both want to kiss...and do a little bit more so badly. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 it would be funny if you can find something you can see through but covers your head. like panty hose or something. tell her you didn't want to scare her with your sick looking face. i bet she would bust up laughing. when she does come over have your head covered in the blanket so she can just see your body. say 'don't come any closer. i'm sick.' then when she finally gets your head to pop out, she laughs her head off. that's something like i'd do. i'm all about making a girl laugh. rain or shine. Link to comment
ole21 Posted February 1, 2008 Author Share Posted February 1, 2008 Nothing against you but I think if I did something like that it just wouldn't be funny at all. Maybe I have an entirely different sense of humor but if I did that I think she'd just be like "what the !@#% are you doing?" Link to comment
ghost69 Posted February 1, 2008 Share Posted February 1, 2008 and if you said it in a michael jackson type voice, 'don't come closer, i'm hideous.' omg, i'd be rollin in tears after doing that. any gf i've dated before would bust up laughin. guess ur humor is different. Link to comment
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