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if your a fellow troller then you may know my dilemma but hes the run down..my best friend and i have been in a on again off again relationship while ive been away at college..this last weekend i went down to see her..


Friday was awesome, we cuddled, made out and talked for a good 6 hours or so.. Saturday she invited me for breakfast but we were both tired so i left and we met up again for dinner...She was somewhat distant.. so we called it an early night and i just dropped her off.. when i told her goodbye and that i wouldnt see her on sunday because i would be going to church then straight home she seemed disappointed.


So i decide to stop by quickly on sunday anyway..nearly missing my train..i went in for a kiss goodbye and she pulled back and we just hugged and said our byes..not sure if im reading to much into this could have been a simple thing with her mom in the room or something..or fact she had just woke up.. anyway so i called her monday and she hasnt returned my phone call...question is am i overthinking it.... i know in the past its taken me a couple days sometimes to return a call cause i get busy but she has hardly ever taken more then an hour to return mine...i know shes taking finals right now so maybe thats all it is but should i call her again..or just get it out of my head and when she calls she calls...i know the worse thing to do when you are feeling separation is to push it thats why ive only called the once.

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its our pattern i think tho..it seems this on again off again is just long enough for her to get her relationship "fix"...i honestly dont think her mom was in the room now that i try to remember..i think there is something to it...but i think i will take your advise and just wait...and it just so happened to coincide when i started to see a new girl, that we would start down a relationship path again.

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Knight, you say you are in an "on again-off again" relationship with this woman.


My question is, which one of you has their hand on the on/off switch?


Going by your OP, it sounds clearly like it's HER who controls things at this point.


So how are you going to take back a fair amount of the control?


You can't FORCE the switch to be "on", because she can always turn it off when she feels like it and you're left out in the cold. But you CAN force the switch to be "off" for a bit.


Here's what I would do. Decide that YOU aren't, right now, in a relationship with HER. The switch is now "off" because YOU want it to be. It will stay off until you are ready. Don't be in a hurry to switch it on the first time she approaches you all girlfriend-like, either. Let her try, real hard, to switch it on. Let her learn that you aren't some toy that she can play with by switching a relationship on and off as easily as a flashlight... and that she can only turn the switch on if she's willing to take the responsibility that goes with doing that.


If she goes off with someone else and doesn't choose to take the responsibility... you aren't out anything but another dose of painful jerking around.

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sounds like one of these girls:


'he is so nice, sweet, etc. but i miss being single. no wait, but he's so good to me.'


this girl doesn't know what she wants. she is stringing you along with her. this is why she gets jealous when other girls are around you. she probably thinks, 'what do they see in him. i can snatch him back.'


don't play her lil games.

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