fordmadman Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 Well this isn't the only time this has happened the other night me and my gf had a talk and I told her some things that was bothering me and she agreed with how I felt. I told her that I don't mind her talking to other guys but if she flurts with someone then that right there is a red flag for me and she totally agreed. Well a couple of weeks ago she called my cell phone while I was at work and we had a good conversation well she just started laughing and said guess what happened to me I said what she said this guy I work with he wanted to go to subway with me he opend the door of my car and hit another car I thought to myself why is there a dude eating lunch with her then yesterday the same thing happened said he went with her to get some chinese food and they was listening to a cd that I burnt her and there was a certain band and she took another cd that I burnt her and gave it to him now this upset me because honestly I don't know if shes trying to make me jealous or what but honestly its making me mad and pushing me away. I talked to one of my good friends about it and he said well if she is trying to make you jealous don't show any jealousy be cool and then he said well sounds like to me this dude is trying to hit it im like do what now because my last relationship my ex cheated on me and I don't think I can go through that again. Another thing I told her and she has done this to and my ex did this she would come home and tell me about guys hitting on her and honestly I don't want to hear about a guy hitting on my gf it just upsets me. Link to comment
Angel_baby Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 You posted this story before a couple weeks back... Honestly though I think you might be a little more paranoid about her cheating on you because of being cheated on in your past with your ex. Going to lunch with a co worker on break is not "uncommon". I have gone to lunch with my co workers on several occasions. The burned cd... she probably figured she could burn another one. I will give you that though. I would be kinda upset if I had made it and she gave it away too. But I don't think she did it to hurt your feelings and probably wouldn't of if she knew it would. Stress to her that you don't want to hear of guys that hit on her. As she doesn't want to hear about girls hitting on you either. It is going to happen but it doesn't have to be made known every time it does happen. If you smother her she will run. You need to trust her because without trust there is no relationship. Link to comment
fordmadman Posted January 30, 2008 Author Share Posted January 30, 2008 Yeah and she did make that point about the trust I do trust her but its like I told my mom and her I've been done wrong by so many people and my ex that I keep my guard up on everyone and the people that I love im pushing away and I shouldn't be like this. When she said I feel like you don't trust me I said I do trust you if I didn't when we wasn't together I would call you every hour on the hour wondering where you are at what u are doing and who u are with but im not like that I don't tell her who she can and cannot talk to where she can and cannot go because the way I see it ive been done that way in a previous relationship and I don't like it. Link to comment
Angel_baby Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 I understand that you have been hurt in the past and it is hard to let it go. But if you hold on to that hurt to much and hide behind that wall you've built to long... you may lose her to. She isn't your ex. She shouldn't have to pay for what your ex did. She is with you because she loves YOU. She is asking about the trust you have for her because she doesn't feel much of it. I am sure she sees the anger and jealousy in your eyes when she is just casually talking to you. You may not be calling her every hour or telling her she can't talk to guys but you are telling her in different way and actions that you don't give her that much trust. How often do you joke around about her cheating on you? You need to let the wall down a little at a time. I know you don't want to be hurt again but that wall isn't going to protect you from hurt. She will eventully get tired of trying and leave. The "wall" resulted in you being hurt again. Show her you trust her and you will notice a change Link to comment
fordmadman Posted January 30, 2008 Author Share Posted January 30, 2008 Me and her is going to one of her friends birthday partys well her friends brother is her ex and I didn't really want to go but she asked me and at first I said no and then I said well for you I will go and she got all excited but its going to be weird going to something and knowing what this guy did to her and stand there and look him square in the eye. The night we all talked my mom said I miss the old you nothing botherd you u was layed back and funny but now everything gets to you and its pushing us away. I just need to tear this wall down that I have and quit being like this. Link to comment
Angel_baby Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 You will tear that wall down a little bit at a time, but you need to work on it. I won't just change by itself. Effort will need to be put in it. Going to this party with her showed that you did trust her. Just play it cool at the party. Don't show any anger or hate towards the ex. Remember she dumped him to be with you. She is with YOU. Keep reassuring yourself about this. Try not to think she will do the same thing as your ex did. Your girlfriend is an entire different person. You can do it if you really put your mind to it. Link to comment
fordmadman Posted January 30, 2008 Author Share Posted January 30, 2008 Another thing that has me like this is some of the guys she has been with she still keeps contact with them and I've had them e-mail me saying if I ever hurt her there going to kick my ass and that right there makes me mad I don't like people threatening me. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 i will read your posts if you use more punctuation. but what i gathered from it, i'd be wary of this girl. Link to comment
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