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Happiness through sadness...


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I mentioned earlier that I was unhappy in my relationship with my girlfriend. And, as I said, I broke it off with her, but agreed to stay with her until she moved in a few months. Well, everyday for the last few weeks, she has been bringing up the fact that we are going to break up and it gets us both upset.

 

Tonight, she decided enough was enough. She asked me what my true feelings were and I said I loved her but I didn't want to be with her anymore. So, I am now officially single again. However, I promised her I didn't want to hurt her any more than I already have, so I will still wait until she moves away before even thinking about moving on.

 

Several hours after we broke up, somehow she convinced me to make out with her. We haven't made out in months and it was something I always would joke about with her, because I wanted it so badly. I figure it was a last ditch effort on her part to get me back, but I stopped it after a few seconds and said I shouldn't kiss her anymore. She then claimed I used her, and now I feel terrible. She's the one that wanted to kiss, but I feel sad about all the hurt I have caused; not just the kiss.

 

What I don't get is how I love her more than anyone, yet I have hurt her more than anyone. I've been wanting to break up with her for months, but now that I've finally done it, I feel as though I may have made a mistake. How am I going to find another girl as caring and loving as her? I know this is for the better, so I don't want to change my mind. I guess everyone questions their actions when they breakup.

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Hey Mr.

 

Just wanted to clarify something - if you love her so much & you still see her as so loving and caring, what is it that has made you determined to end things? What is so rough in this relationship that has made fixing things impossible for you?

 

I think that would help people advise you further.

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I'm curious about this too. If you love her and care about her why didn't you ever tell her what's bothering you about the relationship? It could possibly be something you both could work on.

 

It's like an epidemic these days. I feel like people just walk away instead of trying to work things out. Communication, communication, communication!!!!

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What I don't get is how I love her more than anyone, yet I have hurt her more than anyone.

 

You probably haven't heard the old song:

 

You always hurt the one you love

The one you shouldn't hurt at all

You always take the sweetest rose

And crush it till the petals fall

You always break the kindest heart

With a hasty word you can't recall

So If I broke your heart last night

It's because I love you most of all

 

This is one of life's deepest mysteries. It always seems to happen, despite the best of intentions. If you ever figure out why, you'll be famous.

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You probably haven't heard the old song:

 

You always hurt the one you love

The one you shouldn't hurt at all

You always take the sweetest rose

And crush it till the petals fall

You always break the kindest heart

With a hasty word you can't recall

So If I broke your heart last night

It's because I love you most of all

 

This is one of life's deepest mysteries. It always seems to happen, despite the best of intentions. If you ever figure out why, you'll be famous.

 

Wow, I really like that song. It is so true.

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I am sorry it took my so long to reply.

 

There's a song by Three Days Grace that you've probably heard (if you listen to rock) that says: "I hate everything about you, Why do I love you?" I think this fits my dilemma. If she would have acted like this when I met her, I probably would have kept on going. But, I fell in love with her several years ago, before she started acting like a child, and being annoying to everyone. It's not just the child thing, it's how her beliefs go against mine, and she is as stubborn as me on them, so we fight all the time and get nowhere. She loves to piss people off and annoy them on purpose; she told me this herself. But, she always apologizes for it after the fact. There is more, but I don't want to keep saying all the bad things about her.

 

All that stuff makes her sound evil. She is the most caring person I have ever met and when we are just together, cuddling and talking, we can laugh and actually enjoy ourselves a bit. I can't stand to see her cry, and I hate the though of not being able to see her. She's been in my life everyday. I sometimes think I need to continue to be patient with her and deal with her tendencies because I may be the only guy that can put up with it and I don't want her to be all alone and sad.

 

But, that's the main reason I broke up with her. She is happy with me, and leaving her is breaking her heart. But, I am not happy and I told her that. I love her but I am not happy.

 

I guess I solved my own problem. haha

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