iamconfused47 Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Ok heres my story. Im pretty sure I have a mild case of PE. I am 22 years old, and have been having sex for 4 years now. I was with my most recent GF for over 3 years, and enjoyed a pretty good sex life. I would PE every once in awhile, but it wasnt really a huge issue. It usually only happened when we didn't have sex for a few days or more, or when I was REALLY in the mood. I seemed to develop an ability to tell when I was going to cum, then hold it in or stop until the feeling subsided. Anyways, she never had a complaint about it. I am also skilled in oral, so this probably helped the situation. Now Ill bring you up to present day. We have been broke up for about 2 months now, and all of a sudden Im getting some SERIOUS anxiety about my problem. Since I have been single, I think my problem is getting worse. I have been to a couple strip clubs with some buddies lately. And have ended blowing my load both times during a lap dance. Granted these were extended sessions, and not just 1 dance. And the last time the girl was grinding all over my crotch pretty intensely. But I came in my pants. I dont feel this should be happening. And I had a sexual encounter with one women since then, and it didn't go well. She was giving me oral and I blew my load within 4 minutes of the first contact, even with some delayed touching. This is becoming a huge concern of mine, and its effecting my mentally. I find myself being scared to pursue relationship's because of this. Its extremely embarrassing for me. I dont know what to do. Am I worrying to much about this? Because like I said it wasn't a very big issue in my last LONG relationship. although it did crop up from time to time. I need some help to deal with the issue. Im still very young, and dont want it to effect my sex life for very much longer. Anybody here in the same boat, or know of anything that would help me? I have heard anti-depressants work wonders for people like me. And I do suffer from depression i think, and have for years. So maybe this would be my best bet? I wouldn't be taking them for the sole purpose of delayed ejaculation. And I have been told by many close people that I should consider taking them for my health, as I have a family history of depression. Is this a viable option? Any help would be great. Link to comment
iamconfused47 Posted January 29, 2008 Author Share Posted January 29, 2008 Anybody? I know some people out there can help. Link to comment
grymoire Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 How long do you last on average? Be specific as possible - From the time you put it "in", stroke, and climax.. how much time is that? Link to comment
iamconfused47 Posted January 29, 2008 Author Share Posted January 29, 2008 How long do you last on average? Be specific as possible - From the time you put it "in", stroke, and climax.. how much time is that? It varies.....its doesnt happen everytime. Sometimes it was very short, and sometimes it took forever. But Im trying to make it happen as little as possible. Its like sometimes my penis gets very very sensitive, and thats when I cant last. But again this doesnt happen every time.....probably less than half when I was having sex in the relationship. Link to comment
sweetpea Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 It doesn't sound to me like you have a huge problem. Lots of guys wish they could come that fast or from a lap dance, but they are older. It appears that if you get yourself off beforehand (pun intended) it will lower your sensitivity and you will last longer. About the feeling you have, about knowing when you are about to cum, sure, that's the way it's supposed to be. The key is to stop moving as soon as you feel that way. It's hard to do. Link to comment
iamconfused47 Posted January 29, 2008 Author Share Posted January 29, 2008 It doesn't sound to me like you have a huge problem. Lots of guys wish they could come that fast or from a lap dance, but they are older. It appears that if you get yourself off beforehand (pun intended) it will lower your sensitivity and you will last longer. About the feeling you have, about knowing when you are about to cum, sure, that's the way it's supposed to be. The key is to stop moving as soon as you feel that way. It's hard to do. Yea....I think I also need to avoid getting overly excited...think thats a main problem. I get so stimulated from visual stuff at times. And sometimes its so sensitive there is nothing I can do. But I know there are ways to improve this problem. Maybe Ill try the squeeze technique as well. But its hard without a partner. How long can the average man go by masturbating by themselves? Link to comment
sweetpea Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 The squeeze technique is already too late. You need to try to stop before your ejaculate is halfway up your penis. Self control! You can do it, your problem doesn't sound that bad. Link to comment
grymoire Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 It varies.....its doesnt happen everytime. Sometimes it was very short, and sometimes it took forever. But Im trying to make it happen as little as possible. Its like sometimes my penis gets very very sensitive, and thats when I cant last. But again this doesnt happen every time.....probably less than half when I was having sex in the relationship. don't tell short or long.. give me the number of minutes. i'm trying to help you bro. Link to comment
sweetpea Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 I have heard guys say that they can cum anywhere from a few minutes to maybe 20 minutes at most. Link to comment
iamconfused47 Posted January 30, 2008 Author Share Posted January 30, 2008 I cant give an average.....its to random. Has anybody had any success with the anti-depressants? Link to comment
Seymore Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 During masturbation I can come basically whenever I feel like it, be it 5 minutes or a half an hour. I come during sex between 2 minutes-never. My girlfriend will come 99% of the time (she comes fast - I've got a rare one, and she doesn't believe in faking it) and let me keep going for a few minutes. She usually starts getting sore or tired even though she says it still feels great, and I stop since I'm happy if I got her off. I can jerk off anytime anyway. I tried doing those Kegel exercises to last longer and they do work most of the time for me. I do them within 30 seconds of entering her and it helps. However, if you're thinking about using desensitizing cream or condoms with desensitizer, be VERY careful. I made two posts about it in the last 2 days. I couldn't get a hard on for at least a day, I guess I was oversensitive to it. But that's just me. Masturbating before you see her also helps, but whatever you do, DON'T let it get into your head. The more you think about it, the harder it will be to perform. Link to comment
iamconfused47 Posted January 30, 2008 Author Share Posted January 30, 2008 Nobody here has any experience with this? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 I have heard guys say that they can cum anywhere from a few minutes to maybe 20 minutes at most. you seriously believe 20 mins is the max? lol hope this is just what you heard and now what you believe. Link to comment
iamconfused47 Posted January 30, 2008 Author Share Posted January 30, 2008 you seriously believe 20 mins is the max? lol hope this is just what you heard and now what you believe. Yea.....this is true.....I have gone for well over 20 minutes numerous times. Although it usually after we have done it once before, or we've had alot of sex lately. Over 20 minutes is really alot, unless your girl is a freak. Get her warmed up orally before, and 20 minutes is more than you need. Link to comment
someguy88 Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 I've had major delayed ejaculation side effects from anti depressants. I'd encourage you to try it out and see for yourself because it is used for PE as well. However, for me it got so bad that I couldn't ejaculate without a four hour blow job so I switched ADs. lol Link to comment
iamconfused47 Posted January 30, 2008 Author Share Posted January 30, 2008 I've had major delayed ejaculation side effects from anti depressants. I'd encourage you to try it out and see for yourself because it is used for PE as well. However, for me it got so bad that I couldn't ejaculate without a four hour blow job so I switched ADs. lol Yea since I think I have depression as well, it may be perfect for me. Although I dont PE all the time, it would be nice to have some added control. Link to comment
watupgangsta Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 i don't know how smart it is to go on anti-depressents without a doctor specifically telling you that you shouldd be on them for your mental health. Link to comment
iamconfused47 Posted January 31, 2008 Author Share Posted January 31, 2008 i don't know how smart it is to go on anti-depressents without a doctor specifically telling you that you shouldd be on them for your mental health. Ive been told before I should go on them....but didnt want to. Link to comment
someguy88 Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Ive been told before I should go on them....but didnt want to. I had a conversation with my doctor about AD's and he told me specifically that they are used for men that PE. Link to comment
KG Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 My doc said that is a side effect of the Lexapro also....longer "lead" time. For once I can be a marathon man...alone! *sigh*. Link to comment
ryan123 Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Train your penis... Masturbate more often and try to make it last atleast 15 minutes. I know its hard to resist the primal urge to ejaculate, but make it last. I can get off in 30 seconds if I'd like. I can also get off in 30 minutes if the occasion calls for it. But it happens when you dont have sex for a long time. When I was first with my girl I hadn't had sex for a few months and just the feeling of a new vagina made me ejaculate within 3 minutes. And I had quite the anxiety over it because I had thought I worked those problems out with the girl before my GF and now this was happening with my GF I was freaked out. Now that I get it regularly and its the same vagina for 11 months I go for marathons. Im talking 2 hour sex sessions that leave us both handicapped for a couple days. Link to comment
sweetpea Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Train your penis... It's not really the penis it's the mind. Good ideas though. Link to comment
iamconfused47 Posted January 31, 2008 Author Share Posted January 31, 2008 Well when I masturbate I can go as long as I want normally. But when I use the aid of porn, I get a crazy urge right away to cum. And my penis becomes super sensitive for a minute. As long as I get past that point Im good. but when I masturbate without porn I can go 5 days if I wanted to without cumming. Whats wrong with me? This is effecting my ability to start new relationship's. Link to comment
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