Feels like I am back to square one

[Lionel Hutz]

So our anniversary would have been yesterday and Valentines day is also right around the corner. It seems that all of the practicing LC and not thinking about her has come back ten fold. It really sucks because I can't stop dreaming about her, and even worse, in the dreams she is totaly distant or can not even see me. I sent her a text which read "Thinking of you" which I probably should not have done, however she positively responded with, "I know I miss you." I did not read to much into because we are naturally gonna miss each other. Im debating whether I should have said anything about the exact four years we would have had. I think she may have expected me to say something. I really want to send her something on valentines day but I know that could be a huge mistake. I have tried talking to friends but they are just over it and have their own relationship problems to deal with. Anyone feel the same as I do, and how the hell do you cope.

[samantha20]

I really wish I knew.

[Callingforsnowpeas]

you move on.

[Lionel Hutz]

Easier said.

[Wandering_Sword]

You have the right idea about not sending a Valentine's Day gift, but are you still maintaining LC or have you decided to go NC? There are many ways to cope but what is you're overall strategy (or plan) for yourself? Are you trying to "win" her back or trying to get back your sanity?

[Dominic_M]

In Therapy last week, my shrink suggested I join a support group for dumpee's. He gave me a number to call and set up attending.

 

Perhaps you may want to try this. Since your going to be thinking of your ex anyway, you may as well meet some new people and offer support as it may make this next holiday more bearable.

 

I know I will.

[Entropy Smith]

Treat it like a drug addiction. Seek support PREEMPTIVELY before you fall off the wagon. Go NC. LC is masturbation.

[Callingforsnowpeas]

Easier said.

 

don't you think i know that? lol

There is nothing easy about relationships or breakups. People have feelings and goals and memories.. and it hurts, and its difficult.

But at the end of the day you have two choices, you try again or you move on.

[Lionel Hutz]

You have the right idea about not sending a Valentine's Day gift, but are you still maintaining LC or have you decided to go NC? There are many ways to cope but what is you're overall strategy (or plan) for yourself? Are you trying to "win" her back or trying to get back your sanity?

 

I DO want her back. I have practiced many different outlets to "forget," they've been working too. I just hate it because I have the whole "Wish you were here" mentality now. The dreams wont let up and its killing me softly. My sanity has remained intact for the most part.

[Lionel Hutz]

I have went witout speaking to her for weeks until I needed some of my belongings back. Since that text two weeks ago I have not contacted her (outside of looking on myspace.)

[Wandering_Sword]

Do you see the chance for the both of you to get back together? Or do you know there is no chance but you are still holding on to the idea?

[Lionel Hutz]

I know there is a chance. The thing thats killing me is that now is not the time. We have this weird interwoven relationship where she is going to be around for an extended period of my life unless I just move out of my city and cut contact with many of my friends. One of my best friends has a long lasting relationship with her older sister, and they have kids now. Another buddy of mine has a child with her best friend. The girl who intoduced us is another great friend of mine. I go to our favorite club and always see good friends of ours and they always tell me she says hello and asks how im doing. My buddies tell me "why dont you just go see her?" But I really dont want to be pushy or weird.

[Wandering_Sword]

Hmmm... Your social circles are very connected, but it does not mean that you cannot create a level of comfortable distance for yourself. If now is not a good time for any attempts at getting back together, then by all means cut her out of your life completely (no more checking on her myspace). I recommend that you try taking some time out for yourself (say a couple of months) to travel and do the things that you thought or dreamed of doing but just didn't have the chance.

From what I've read on your other post, you have done an excellent job of keeping yourself occupied, but its time to try something so utterly different that you will get yourself caught up in it. For me it was learning to ride a motorcycle and then buying one.

Sadly it won't be easy to get your EX out of your head and its even harder when you see the possibility of getting back together. But it's imperative that you try to go straight NC for as long as possible since you have plans to get back together.

[Purple1]

I think as soon as you break the contact rule everything just comes flooding back. I was doing great until I broke NC. I read this really good article today on netdoctor, it really helped me remember what my goals are.

link removed

[Lionel Hutz]

The LC IS not bothering me too much. While not at first, it was kind of appropriate for our situation. I think it is because I put ourselves on a waiting list for a really really nice place in a really dope part of Los Angeles, and of all the times to find out I've got it, It falls right between our anniversary and valentines day.And the dreams are crushingly real. Im gonna suck it up and run six miles tonight and try to forget about it. I appreciate each and every reply.