What to do if the ex's family is contacting me??

[DayHell]

I've got another thread floating around about my ex contacting me after being in NC for this month, and now just to confuse things more her older brother sends me an email asking me what i've been up to, how my new job is going etc. and then tells me about how he and his wifes 3 y.o daughter is doing and how they still think of me!

do i reply? and what if i keep in contact with them and not my ex? i dunno what i'm supposed to do or say... last week i wasn't thinking about the BU much and was just telling friends how i actually felt happy and complete being single. and that's still true so i don't think this is going to affect me too much, just curious how you think i should handle it?

[Censored]

You are free to respond to the family. If you don't want to have those ties, then still respond, but make sure that you don't inadvetantly ask any questions.

 

Sometimes it is hard when other memebrs of an ex's family care about you to break contact with everyone.

[bridgid8]

You are free to respond to the family. If you don't want to have those ties, then still respond, but make sure that you don't inadvetantly ask any questions.

 

I agree, be polite, it just sounds like he wants to see how you are doing. But think about whether maintaining contact or not is going to set you back in the long run.

[samross]

dayhell,

 

If it is anything like my situation it will be painful and will set you back. The more contact you have with them the more info about your ex and great his life is will come up. I'm going through that and it makes every day of my life suck. My problem is it's my mom. In you case i would be very careful.

 

I've noticed a change in my viewpoints and I hope it doesn't mean I'm becoming a little more cynical. I used to be optimistic and try to give people optimistic advice. But anymore I'm leaning towards doing what ever makes me feel better and removes the pain (obviously within reason). Sticking my hand back into the fire once it's burned me several times will always come up with the same result.

[mezmerist]

Yeah, it's really up to you, whether it will set you back or not. My ex's mom emailed me just to see how I was doing, and we emailed a couple of times back and forth. However, my ex was not brought up at all, so that was good. I miss her and I know she misses me too; we had a lot of conversations because I stayed over at her house a lot. It made me miss them more, but it didn't set me back too far, so I don't regret it. I know they still care, so it didn't hurt me to be polite.

[Opaque1997]

My ex's parents have both contacted me to express their deep sadness and their love for me - I opted to ask they give their love of me to him for now and that one day I may be able to contact them but now I need to let him have full rights. Really do what is right for you - just be respectful of yourself and your ex.