Fruitfull1 Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 OK....so I was just pondering on why men think it's ok to have a girlfriend and have other women on the side. But the thing is they don't want you (the girlfriend) to have anyone on the side. Why is this? Then when you find out that they were doing whatever with whomever on the side they beg and plead for you to stay and tell you they really want to be with you. Is this because they are confused, selfish or greedy? I think some men REALLY DO want to be with their main squeeze but they are just confused. Am I right? Really interested in hearing other's opinions and views. Feel free to add whatyou would like or cover anything I have missed..... PS. I am only asking about men because I am a woman so I don't want anyone to think I am being onesided because I am fully aware that women do the same things too. Link to comment
rocio Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 They're probably a psychopath. Link to comment
winchester3 Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 It's because all men are evil. What man doesn't want sex??? Think about it. Link to comment
rocio Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 I want sex too, but I'm happy getting it from the man I love. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 that's funnny you use the topic "want their cake and it too" i always use that on my boyfriend. the answer is simple . . . they think with their other *head* Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 I want sex too, but I'm happy getting it from the man I love. EXACTLY!!!!!!! Link to comment
greenmonster Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 it goes back to men being more of a primal animal and see women as property....as in they are HIS and he can have that AND something else...but no other men can have what is HIS... its like a dog peeing on a tree... guys that think this way are basically no better than dogs and should be dumped immediately Link to comment
mrmaximum Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 it goes back to men being more of a primal animal and see women as property....as in they are HIS and he can have that AND something else...but no other men can have what is HIS... its like a dog peeing on a tree... guys that think this way are basically no better than dogs and should be dumped immediately Yup, pretty much. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 I am not so sure about the confused part...but definitely selfish and greedy fits. Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 men who want women on the side are by default selfish. they want what they want, and don't care who gets hurt to get it. so the answer to your question is simple... they don't want their 'side' woman seeing anyone else because it might interfere with them getting what they want when they want it. you might be on a date and not available to get together when they want sex, or you might find another guy more interesting and stop seeing him. so it isn't that they 'care' about you, they see you as a consumable resource... if someone else is eating their cake, they would have to share, or might not get as much cake. it is also true that if the woman starts dating another guy who is available, she will really see the limitation of dating a married man and start to get angry about that. he doesn't want you thinking there's a better world for yourself out there, because he wants you anxiously waiting around for him all the time, and for you to be available when it is convenient for him, not you. Link to comment
Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 its called a fallback option if the realationship fails you got something to fall back on Link to comment
sweetpea Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Your thread is titled, why do men want their cake and eat it too, but your question is why do they THINK they can have it that way? 2 different questions. They want it because 2 women are more fun than one. They might think they can have it because they are either living in fantasyland or they have dated women who will put up with being treated as second class citizens. Link to comment
rocio Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 its called a fallback option if the realationship fails you got something to fall back on That's called being extremely insecure and having an intense fear of being alone because you might have to spend some time with yourself and realise that you're an empty, pathetic human being. (Not you personally, SBJ - of course you would never engage in this kind of behavior.) Link to comment
Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 That's called being extremely insecure and having an intense fear of being alone because you might have to spend some time with yourself and realise that you're an empty, pathetic human being. (Not you personally, SBJ - of course you would never engage in this kind of behavior.) yes, but in a nice way its called a fallback option beacuse you do have something to fallback on. Link to comment
rocio Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 reminds me of this friend/roommate i used to have. i remember when she was dating 3 guys at once and they all showed up to the same party. it was the funniest stuff i've ever seen. another time, she was supposed to go to cuba with her bf. they already had the trip booked when they broke up. she was literally single for less than an hour. she brought the new guy to cuba instead. but they broke up while down there. haha Link to comment
LostSpartan Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Well this is from a man that is 35... When I was younger, out of my first divorce. I cheated because I had a "side" thing going. I was young and not experienced. I'd never do it again. So its not all men. Although, the men that I know that do it. They mainly do it because they aren't fully happy with thier current woman. Seems they either didn't know what they wanted in the first place or just greedy. Link to comment
Cole33 Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 It's mostly about insecurity, some people, men and women have to feel needed, or wanted, it makes them feel better about themselves, because they can't be okay with the attention from just one person, the scariest part about it, is the people like that probably really DO love the person they're supposed to be loyal to, they're basically broken people. Link to comment
Fruitfull1 Posted February 5, 2008 Author Share Posted February 5, 2008 It's mostly about insecurity, some people, men and women have to feel needed, or wanted, it makes them feel better about themselves, because they can't be okay with the attention from just one person, the scariest part about it, is the people like that probably really DO love the person they're supposed to be loyal to, they're basically broken people. WOW!!! That sooooooooooo sounds like my boyfriend to the tee! I believe he does really love me. He just wants me to need him so he can always have me in his corner. Link to comment
Cole33 Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 To some degree we all want to feel wanted, I'll admit, when i'm in a relationship, and i go out and i notice that I'm getting flirted with by another woman, it's a nice feeling to know you attractive to other people, and I think thats normal. the difference between that normality, is HOW we react to that, if we take action on it that is obviously morally wrong, and he knows that it's wrong I'm sure, we all have that, you know, moral compass inside us, but some people just ignore it, they are so totally focused on their own personally gratification, they push aside that they are hurting someone else. someone once told me that a relationship is about giving and not getting, an if two people are doing everything they can to give in that relationship, they'll be happy, but if you're only just trying to GET something for yourself out of it, it's only going to be destructive. Just don't let this guy make you feel you're not good enough, as soon as you're gone, he'll realize what he's missed. Link to comment
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