pacifistx Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 I don't like to talk about my sex life and I consider myself a modest person, but my sex life ends up being brought up and I try to be brief about it. A colleague of mine at the university knows of my sexual promiscuity, and I don't know if thats a good thing. I do want to teach and research at a university in the future, and I'm not sure if sex and drugs can ruin a professor's reputation. I do hear a lot of the graduate students in the department talk about smoking openly, and so I'm confused on this too. So what do girls think of guys who do one night stands? I'm just curious if this would make me seem immature to her, or if it would affect my academic reputation. I do not bring up the subject but its get to that part where I slip on my part. Don't judge by just that. I am very dependable and motivated to reach my goals. I try to be cool with everyone. I do have my geeky side, but I like to have fun too. Link to comment
glegend Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 I think once night stands are kinda stupid. Some ppl just want to have sex and that it so I guess it works out for them. Personally I wouldn't be involved in a once night stand, I would never just have sex with someone that I am not in a relationship or married to. Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 I think it depends on the environment. My prof is very conservative and I think my research group was pretty much balanced toward being conservative. There were people in my department that were promiscuous and word would get around. Their work wasn't questioned, but some people didn't really show them much respect. My roommate slept around and I didn't think anything of it, but there were comments made to me about her that I thought were pretty mean. Link to comment
AngelEyez Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 I'm not fond of people who have one night stands. I think it's gross that a LOT of guys have them. It's hard to find a guy who hasn't slept with many girls either. It's sad to see. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 I'm not fond of people who have one night stands. I think it's gross that a LOT of guys have them. It's hard to find a guy who hasn't slept with many girls either. It's sad to see. Not everybody intends to have a ONS. Sometimes it just turns out that way, esp if a guy/girl just "disappears" after the act, never to be heard from again. And the other person had wanted a relationship. Link to comment
shikashika Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 i don't think there is anything wrong with having a one night stand. Some people may say "one night stands are stupid"...but others might say "people who are prudes are stupid" both comments are silly. how much sex you decide to have and with how many people shouldn't have any bearing on your job. I wouldn't broadcast my sexual experiences to my work colleagues, but sometimes it can come up when you become friends with them. most girls and guys i know have had at least one night stand at one point in their life and i don't think there is anything wrong with it. There is nothing wrong with having no one night stands either. I really wouldn't care what anyone thought of me as if someone judged me because i've had a few, i don't really want to be friends with them anyway. There was another thread about this recently in this forum and i'll say the same thing. i often read people saying things like "People who have many partners are xxx" or "People who have one night stands dont' care about themselves"... and it seems perfectly acceptable to make comments like that. But, if anyone says something like "people who are virgins are prudes"... then people get all upset about it. I don't think it should matter if you've had one ONS or 50, or slept with 0 people or 100, you shouldn't be judged. Actually, i know many people who work in academia or are very bright grad students and they all seem to get ardound a bit. not to say there are those who don't do anything. I think its perfectly acceptable for you to have your fun, sleep with whomever you want and it should not have any bearing on your hard work..... unless its illegal.. ha ha! I know some girls (and guys) i talk to actually would prefer that that their partner has had a little varied experience in the sexual department, anyway! I have to say, its only in the ENA world that I hear people talk in such disdain about one night stands.. unless you talk to my mother! I don't know anyone personally who would have a problem with them. Link to comment
Aleadragonhawk Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 I don't think that there's too much chance of it affecting your academic future (unless the people involved are ultra-conservative). To answer the other part of your post, I tend to feel uncomfortable when people discuss sexual history, and I'd personally question the judgment of someone who made a habit of one night stands. I'm pretty conservative about them myself, though, and I understand that for other people they're a way of life - but I would feel uncomfortable around someone who had one night stands regularly and broadcast that. Link to comment
Kiwi_Sweet Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 How do these people know about your sexual history? Do you openly share it with them? Or do you go out with the other T.A.'s? I don't think that it's anyones business, and if you work at a professional university, than I highly doubt that your sexual experiences are going to be brought up at all. It would be quite rude of someone to blab something out like that, especially a professional professor.. Link to comment
Kiwi_Sweet Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 Also, if this is really bothering you...Why not try to keep your legs shut...Or at least keep your tool in your pants, until you're on your own time Link to comment
Cooperstown Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 I'm not fond of people who have one night stands. I think it's gross that a LOT of guys have them. It's hard to find a guy who hasn't slept with many girls either. It's sad to see. Girls are just as promiscious they just keep it on the quiet a little better. I have yet to find a partner who hasn't slept with more people then me. Link to comment
DaDancingPsych Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 I, personally, don't have a problem with one night stands. It is your decision and if both parties are comfortable with the situation, then fine. I am sure that women will have varying opinions about them. Personally, I don't think any less of a guy who does, certainly I tend to think that such a guy is probably not ready to settle into a relationship. So, it probably depends on what I am looking for in my life as to whether or not he would be someone I wanted to spend time with. As open as I am about sexuality (it's yours, do as you please), I do think that there are people out there who feel very strongly in the opposite direction. It's always best to not offend and hence probably safest if you keep your sexuality to yourself. You do run the risk of harming career opportunities if others know and feel strong opinions about it. I, personally, would keep it quiet. However, maybe it's something that you are proud of and want people to know about... nothing wrong with that, but understand that there is a risk there. Link to comment
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