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Getting over someone who wasn't even yours...


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I met a gorgeous guy through a friend about 2 years ago and the chemistry between us was quickly noticed by others. After going away with a few mutual friends (on his suggestion/invitation...) I thought things looked promising until I learned that the guy who had introduced us (who I am still good friends with) had feelings for me. This basically stood in the way of anything happening with my dream guy because he was loyal to our friend. As a result of this we lost touch for a while and have had relatively little contact in the last year, mainly because he lives a few hours away from me. As we still have some mutual friends, it is likely that at some point in the next few months we may meet again… I’m worried about making a * * * of myself if I still have such strong feelings for him, and particularly so if he has a girlfriend. The main problem is that for some reason I can’t get him out of my head and fantasise about him often.


I know this might be “normal”, but it just doesn’t seem healthy for me and I desperately want to stop obsessing over him and move on. I’m not sure what else I can do apart from try and distract myself from thinking of him so much, which is proving very difficult. Anyone got any ideas or tips?

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Yeah, it wouldn’t be a problem to see this guy as my friend now has a steady girlfriend, but I want to start thinking about him less if I am going to meet up with him. In my past experience, when I really care about someone like this I tend to not be able to relax and be myself around them as my feelings get in the way and I end up feeling like an insecure fool. How do you put a dampener on your lust and feelings for someone? Maybe if I try making a list about all the things that I dislike about him, it might help bring him down off that pedestal I’ve placed him on… but where do I start?!?

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