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I'm Gonna Do It


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Alright, so I'm going to make a move on a friend of mine that I've liked for sometime. A lot has changed since we first became friends, and I can tell now more than ever that he feels the same about me. I already know what NOT to do, but unclear about what is okay. We both have not kissed anyone or been in a relationship, and we are both pretty shy (but generally not around each other). Here's what is not okay:


Writing a letter, e-mail, IM, etc. confessing my feelings

Kissing him outright without any warning

Asking him outright if he likes me

Telling his friends how I feel and hope it gets back to him


I am a direct person, and he is far from it. Telling my feelings would scare him away. All touch barriers have been eliminated between us, so all I really have to do now is kiss him (because he'd be too scared to kiss me). Trust me, once I pass this hurdle, it will be easy sailing from here, but if I mess it up, I'm back at square one. So, what next? I'd like to do it sometime this week or next week, since there's no time like the present.


PS I encourage any girl to go for the guy they want, so maybe one day it will be a little easier for both sexes to initiate relationships.



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Are you sure you want to do this? You said you're both shy people but not around each other. If he doesn't feel the same way you do, everything will go south. Do you want to risk it? If you're going to do it, please don't do it directly with words. Do some flirting stuff. Read up on body language. If he doesn't respond, he's not interested.

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At this point, I DO want to risk it. I know things would be fine for me if he decided he did not like me the same way, and that's all I should be worried about. He is nice enough to understand, and we could still be friends. So really, I'm not risking anything, I just want to do it the right way. I KNOW not to be direct (as I said in my post), and his body language is off the charts. It's like we are together already, but without the official title. We flirt often, but we also have a deeper relationship. He has responded positively to everything I have done so far, which I why I think it's safe to make a move.


but thanks, maybe i should think about it for another year or so...

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Well, I wouldn't think about it for another year or so, but instead of just planting a kiss on him, why not just talk about taking the relationship to the next level...out of friendship into boyfriend/girlfriend. You don't have to spell out everything you feel, just tell him that you think you guys would make a great couple and see how he reacts to it. The kiss should follow naturally if he says yes.

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best friends and its the girl that wants to make it more...? rare. (see ladder theory wiki)


honestly, how you do it wont make as much impact as you think. If he is shy then you can't be subtle, but might appreciate not being face-to-face with you when he finds out (thus, the letter/email thing might not be SO bad)


invite him round, come out of the bathroom wearing a kinky little nightdress should do the trick (i'm joking of course... kinda)


i'd say be completely blunt and tell him outright that you like him romantically. perhaps a text message would be best as it is instant, easy to reply to (unlike an email, you know they might not get it for hours) but eliminates the potential awkward feeling he could have.

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There's NO WAY this could be rare, I just think nice girls are less likely to make their feelings known. If you think nice guys get the shaft, try being a nice girl. Really.


link removed (i'm not in the same sitch as this girl, but you get the point)


Most of my friends are guys, and though I wouldn't really consider dating them right now, I wouldn't say it would never happen.


Ok, I like the idea of telling him I think we should be a couple; I don't actually have to say "I want it now", but we can talk about. Maybe that will lead to something...This is getting a little more complicated than I thought it would be, but I'm not discouraged. Thanks for the help.


I wish I could just call him up and tell him!!

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This Friday night, sometime after 9pm, hopefully. I could do it sooner (or later), but I like having plans, rather than being spontaneous. I feel like if I wait until "the Moment", it will never happen. Who knows though, that moment could be tonight...


if you feel it do it. you really shouldn't plan these things.

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Well, I joined this forum because I wanted advise on how to "make a move" on my best friend....but just thinking about doing it gave me the confidence I apparently needed for ir to occur naturally because just a few days later...we were have wild animalistic sex...lol. It was all very natural and not planned. Of course, i wouldn't say it got me out of the friend-zone or anything, but it was wonderful anyway...and it happened again this past weekend and whether we are a couple or not...I am having a fantastic time with someone I am more comfortable around than anyone else.

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No one...and I mean no one could have been more awkward than I was...or as nervous I was about it. I had pretty much decided that I would be the little lost puppy that would follow him around for his entire life and never have sex again. I KNEW he wasn't attracted to me...I just knew it, but there were times would I could see him looking at me differently (you know..."the look") and sometimes when I would touch him...he would jump quite alot (I thought it was because he didn't want me to touch him) and then one day I saw that he was quite "happy" while standing near me and that is when I decided to make a move and I came on this forum to decide what to do. Just a few days later, I was in his bedroom sitting on the floor. We were drinking a beer and watching a movie and I opened my shirt up and showed a breast. He stood there looking at me, got on his knees and went in for the kill.......mmmmm...wonderful! And worth every minute of heartache he ever caused!

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I had forgotten about this thread, but something did happen, and now I am even more confused:


I heard from a reliable mutual friend that he does in fact like me and has for a long time, but he did not think he would be a good boyfriend.


* * * ??


I thought for sure this was my chance to say how I felt, and maybe I would get what I want, but if he is really lacking that much self confidence, I wondered how the relationship would go. He's so shy and awkward that I understand why he would think that he would be "inadequate", but I can't force him to be with me if he doesn't want to. Personally, I think he's old enough to get over himself and try new things. If we all waited until we were ready, nothing would ever get done.


I guess I'm a little peeved that he liked me, and I wasted time stressing over it.


I'm going to see him again tonight, and I wonder if I should just call him out then. He's being handed a girl, and he wants her, and he's too scared to take her? What the hell?

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