Need advice from anyone who's ever dated a Ukrainian or Russian

[ratgirl77]

I really like this guy. He is originally from the Ukraine, but moved here with his family when he was a teenager.

 

He is unlike any guy I have ever dated before. Super smart, very polite, well mannered, and chivalrous. Dating him is definitely different than what I am used to; thereforeeee I am having a bit of a problem trying to read him.

 

We've only gone on a couple dates so far. On both occasions I thought it went well, and I do think that he has some interest in me. Since we last saw each other (a week ago), we have talked via email/IM several times, and I would say at least half those times it was him who initiated contact; and he has mentioned a couple of times that he would like to see me again.

 

So I'm having a difficult time figuring out how he feels about me; because in the past guys I have dated have always been much more forward.

 

There was this moment at the end of our last date that was kind of awkward so it makes me wonder. We gave each other a hug good bye, and for some reason I thought maybe he might kiss me, so I leaned back in after we hugged. He kind of just gave me this deer caught in headlights look, so I panicked and gave him a second hug.

 

So I'm wondering if it's a cultural thing. Do Ukrainian men get turned off by women that are assertive when it comes to things like kissing? and if so,

how do I let him know that I'm interested, without coming on too stong?

[BeStrongBeHappy]

i haven't dated a Russian but i have known a few. They can play their cards quite close to the chest and be a bit more reserved with someone until they get to know you better and know they can trust you.

 

Poker faced wouldn't be the best analogy, but there can be a lot going on there under the surface that you will no be be aware of unless he choses to share it with you.

 

but once they trust you it can be quite a different person.

 

btw, have a few vodkas with him sometime... that's when you'll get the kiss !! for some reason, the emotion comes pouring out when they've had a few. perhaps it is just they have tighter control over their emotions as a cultural thing, until the inhibitions are lowered, then it comes out.

[Stu147]

As to why this guy looked like a 'deer caught in headlights' I don't know, but I would say it was more nerves than anything cultural. I have dated, and indeed married (sigh) a Ukranian girl. And I can tell you that they are no shrinking violets or passive mice. They are as independently thinking as any western girls, and often more domineering at times.

 

Heck, my (now ex) wife made a hobby of wearing the trousers! She has only just mailed them back! lol

[ResonanceTheory]

As for Russian men (I don't know about Ukranian), the one that I dated was very interesting. It took me quite a while do break down his somewhat pragmatic and calm exterior, but he was intelligent and clever and wonderful to talk to, so I didn't mind it. I didn't expect a relationship with him, but when it happened, it was nice. The strangest thing was that he seemed so pragmatic to everyone on the outside (especially to Americans), but to me, he was incredibly, deeply passionate. So I'll second what the other poster said about Russians "playing their cards close to their chest", especially if they've been hurt before...but afterwards, very passionate and committed. He even proposed to me (I was not ready).

 

But, as a note, the guy I dated was in his later 20's (28 ), so perhaps that is different for younger aged men from Eastern Europe.