What should she do?

[havefaith]

Hey guys I am soliciting advice for my best friend from home. I ususally know how to advise people but this situation has got me stumped.

 

We are sophomores in college. She met her boyfriend in the beginning of freshman year and have been dating ever since. I've always admired their relationship to a degree because she stayed SO independent and always had no problem doing her own thing. Still, when he looked at her, you could just see him exploding with adoration.

 

Thing is, she is transferring to a much better college which. It's only 2 hours away. He cried when he found out & he's insisting he just can't do long distance. He's adamant. He's saying that he couldn't take not being able to give her a hug every day, and he would probably end up driving up there all the time.

 

I personally don't understand how a person would rather not be with someone at all then work out a LDR, which I have done myself.

 

She asked him if he loves her and he said "I'm 20 and I don't know what love is." They have been together for a year and a half, never said I love you.

 

He wants to continue to stay together until the last possible day and then break it off. She is trying to finagle things, like taking it to spring break then "makiing it casual" or taking it to the end of the semester.

 

When I tell her to just end it now she says, "I can't just stop talking to him. I can't cut him out."

 

What should she do here? How do I support her?

[vintage tees]

 

He wants to continue to stay together until the last possible day and then break it off. She is trying to finagle things, like taking it to spring break then "makiing it casual" or taking it to the end of the semester.

 

I always find it interesting when people try to put an expiration date on a relationship. What is the point in forcing what is inevitable? It's like, "Hey, I will be your boyfriend until March 1, 2008, and then we will know longer be together after that." You can't set a date to end a relationship. What purpose does it serve? If they think they are going to break things off and one party is not willing to make it work, why stay together? A relationship takes two people and he would sacrifice the distance if he cared enough.

 

Also, he would be willing to NEVER see someone again, because he can't have a hug everyday? Weird. If I were in the situation and I cared for someone deeply enough there is no distance too great to keep me from being from the one I care about.

[havefaith]

Thanks vintage. I happen to completely agree with you ... I don't know what's up the guy.

 

Problem is I know she's not just going to break it off now like she should. She keeps asking me if she should end it at spring break or at the end of the semester. I don't know how to advise her on that because I can't imagine doing that ... I couldn't stay with someone knowing when it was going to end because that's all I'd be able to think about every time I looked at him.