tips on approaching a woman??

[cluelessme]

hey all,

 

i just recently got out of a 4 yrs relationship (been a 2-3 months now)...

 

im not necessarily looking for a new girlfriend, but i feel i should probably start putting myself out there and get some practice in (lol)

 

im obviously a little rusty at it, so here are my current problems:

 

1) i cant tell if a woman is even remotely interested in me (lets say in a bar/club/party...etc), like i dont know how to tell what eye contact means what, what smiles means what, if she is open to be approached...etc

 

2) i get REALLY nervous right before i approach a girl....i guess its normal but normally im really talkative, but as soon as i need to appraoch a girl, i freeze up, nothing ever comes into mind, so i end up saying nothing to a girl and just stand there with her looking at me like im an idiote...lol so what would be something good to say?? i dont want to say something like "oh i think ur beautiful" cuz i think its corny and creepy guys say that stuff (no offense to anyone who finds that line successful), and i REALLY dont want to just slowly go up to a girl and dance with her.....cuz thats just...creepy as well...

 

3) how do i follow up with lets say...a girl i just recently met? like im not good at the "game" (call her after 3 days...etc) i dont even know the rules haha

 

4) what should i NOT do or say to scare/creep a girl away?

 

i'll think of more questions as we go along...thanks!

[cluelessme]

any tips at all?

[Myk_]

1) i cant tell if a woman is even remotely interested in me (lets say in a bar/club/party...etc), like i dont know how to tell what eye contact means what, what smiles means what, if she is open to be approached...etc

 

I wouldnt look too much into this, until you've started chatting to the girl. Usually if a girl walks past you in a club and locks eye contact, or stares at you, you can usually assume it's safe to make a move. BUt I wouldnt worry too much about looking for signs if a girl finds you attractive, before you've started talking to her. What some may interpret as a flirty smile, others may think it just friendly.

 

 

2) i get REALLY nervous right before i approach a girl....i guess its normal but normally im really talkative, but as soon as i need to appraoch a girl, i freeze up, nothing ever comes into mind, so i end up saying nothing to a girl and just stand there with her looking at me like im an idiote...lol so what would be something good to say?? i dont want to say something like "oh i think ur beautiful" cuz i think its corny and creepy guys say that stuff (no offense to anyone who finds that line successful), and i REALLY dont want to just slowly go up to a girl and dance with her.....cuz thats just...creepy as well...

 

Everyone gets nervous before approaching a girl, but just think, if she rejects you or turns you down, then thats one less girl for you to worry about. Onto the next one. Don't let the rejection hurt you.

When approaching a girl, I personally would never offer to buy a drink, or say anything like "Hey, hows it going?" A decent looking girl must get this all the time. Your best bet is to approach her with an open ended question that asks for her opinion. For example:

"Just a quick opinion - do you think it's alright for guys to wear make up?"

she replies....

"I only ask as all my friends have started using it, and Im not so keen on it myself"

 

Just say whatever, and go from there. By doing this, she's actually having to think. Also, if she's with a group of mates, engage them in the conversation too, because otherwise, they will soon come in and pull her away.

 

 

3) how do i follow up with lets say...a girl i just recently met? like im not good at the "game" (call her after 3 days...etc) i dont even know the rules haha

There's no rules as such, but give it a day or two, then just phone her. Tell her you were thinking of going for a drink/meal/clay pigeon shooting, and thought maybe she might wanna come along. Simple

 

4) what should i NOT do or say to scare/creep a girl away?

My own personal downfall this one. Don't bombard her with texts/calls, play it cool. Show her as much interest, as she is showing you. Don't seem overkeen. You don't want to appear needy. Just remember she's just a girl who you're getting to know. If it fell through, there's plenty others out there

[hosswhispra]

I can't believe I am chiming in here--well, not really because I got if from another member, haha...but, in the right circumstances something like this could break the ice and work:

 

Make observations and be playful. Honestly I don't think it really matters what you say so much as how you say it. Last night I was standing in a crowded line at the bar beside a really cute girl wearing a sexy teal tank top. I jokingly told her she was taking up too much room and that she needed to curb her alcoholism for a moment and make room at the bar for me. Then I made a joke about how I saw the shirt she was wearing on sale at walmart for $8.99. It was the most ridiculous conversation but it was fun and so she was into me. Just be fun.

[CaptainPlanet]

Firstly it is all in your presentation. You need to be well dressed, clean, fit and healthy, looking relatively wealthy is also a big help.

 

Confidence above all is the key in approaching, but not always attracting. I tend to start with an almost shoulder touch and just come out with it and say 'Hi how are you going'.

 

Most girls will probably hate it but you need to ask her questions, she might not be entertained but this is about you building confidence and learning the gift of the gab. As a general rule ask three questions if she asks you a question back she is interested.

 

1) who cares if she is interested, thats for her to know and you to find out. If she doesn't like you who cares talk to her and find out.

 

2) Walk up to her confidently (or not but just do it) and say ' Hi, how are you going my name is ... ' Find out what she does for a living (if you can not sure if that is polite for older people, how old are you ?), tell her it is interesting, liken it to something, give her an opportunity to ask you a question. Many girls will say it is tiresom to be questioned by men, don't listen to what girls say. Asks questions women love to talk about themselves.

 

It might be corny and cheap but who cares, you're getting a conversation and you're learning it also helps to be good looking.

 

3) tell her you really enjoyed talking to her and would like to get to know her better at whatever, doing something else who cares, you can even just say over a coffee. Call her whenever you feel like calling her. If you want to text her on the way home do it, the thing is up to you.

 

4) do not make any cheesy lines, do not tell lame jokes. You can compliment her but it does need to be done in a nice and sincere way. I have gotten good reactions from girls by saying the following ' look I think you're a really nice girl would you like to..... '. They must expect things like that we all aren't poets.