Colle Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 There are lots of posts here on the subject of turning an ex bf / gf situation around. My question to you is: If you have dumped your bf or gf, and then later on changed your mind, but been rejected by your ex (the dumpee), can you turn THAT situation around? Do the same "rules" apply as if you were initially the dumpee or does this situation call for different measures? I personally dumped my gf about 1,5 years ago which pretty much devastated her. About 6 months ago i realized that I had made a mistake and wanted her back. I told her, to which she replied that she had moved on and didn't have those kind of feelings for me. I obviously want to turn that situation around. If you have any input, ideas or similar stories, please share them. Link to comment
dreamguy Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Yes, I think the same rules apply. I mean you should give her space and some time to think it over after telling her you made a mistake and you want her back. If you keep pushing now you will mostly make her decision final. She knows you want to try again and she knows where/how to find you if she has a change of heart. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Yes, I am with dreamguy on this. Give her space now. If she wants to try again she will come back. Link to comment
Colle Posted January 27, 2008 Author Share Posted January 27, 2008 Yes, I think the same rules apply. I mean you should give her space and some time to think it over after telling her you made a mistake and you want her back. If you keep pushing now you will mostly make her decision final. She knows you want to try again and she knows where/how to find you if she has a change of heart. This seems logical. She has made it very clear to me that she does not want a relationship, but wants to stay friends. I have asked her for NC on the basis that I need time away, so that I later on will be able to be "just friends" with her. She felt that was sad but she understands, since she has been in the same situation with me earlier. However, I got a hold of a pretty interesting e-mail a while ago which would be fun if you guys might comment on. It can be found in the first post in my previous thread: Cheers! Link to comment
dreamguy Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 I'm going to let you down on this but the email doesn't mean a lot. She made up her mind that you are not the one for her and yet she dreams about you ? And you understood everything ? Again, the best thing you can do now is drop off the radar for a while. See how you feel and most importantly give her a chance to see how SHE feels. She won't get that chance as long as you are still around, contacting her and asking her what her decision is. When you are still around all that she will think about is how to answer when you contact her and you will keep her in the present where she doesn't want you. She won't have a chance to revisit the past and dig back all the old nice memories she had with you unless you are absent from her life for now. Link to comment
Honey Pumpkin Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 I personally dumped my gf about 1,5 years ago which pretty much devastated her. About 6 months ago i realized that I had made a mistake and wanted her back. I told her, to which she replied that she had moved on and didn't have those kind of feelings for me. I obviously want to turn that situation around. I don't know if you can turn it around, you know. You devastated her a year and a half ago, and she HAD to go through that pain to get over you. Now you want her back, and she has moved on. If that were me...yeah, I probably wouldn't be interested in going back to the source of the pain. I mean, why do you want to try again? What has happened to change it? If you dumped her once, you can do it again, and I would be incredibly wary of letting someone back in, especially such a long time later. I'm speaking from a biased perspective here, because I have been recently dumped, and am starting to move on. I don't think I would ever see my ex in a positive light again - especially someone who had caused me so much pain. Sorry to be so negative, but I don't really think that this is an easy one to win. Just because you have changed your mind doesn't mean she is on the same page as you. She has been through all the heartache and pain when you dumped her, and got over it. So there would have to be a damned good reason to go back to that again. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 To be honest I'd be leary too that a guy dumped me and took six months to change his mind. Sounds fickle. She probably doesn't want to give her heart to smoenoe who could very well do this all over again. Give her absolute space. There might be a grain of a chance that she'd try again but let her come to you. She already knows you would like her back....so now that this seed has been planted give her time to see if it grows. It might not.....but maybe it will. Link to comment
Colle Posted January 27, 2008 Author Share Posted January 27, 2008 To be honest I'd be leary too that a guy dumped me and took six months to change his mind. Actually, it took me a year =) I just realized some stuff about relationships and that you need to commit and so on. Didn't really get that part earlier, or wasn't ready. Link to comment
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