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Emotional Wreck


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Well, this is my first post and i dont know where 2 begin. I am 25 years old(26 in march) and i have NEVER,EVER had a girlfriend, not even a first kiss, NOTHING!! This is simply because I am extremely shy, and nervous to ask a girl out. Over the past year or so i have gotten the courage to ask 2 people out, only 2 get rejected. I work in a mall, and about 1 year and a half ago, me and this girl locked eyes, everytime i would pass by we would go thru this stupid routine where u look at the other person(its really weird 2 explain)...anyway i thought that she was attracted 2 me.....and all i had 2 do was approach her and ask her out! Somewhere down the line the whole locking eyes crap stopped and I sensed that she wasnt attracted 2 me anymore.....long story short, i asked her out, she rejected, but i couldnt let go and whenever i would c her i would chat with her...and then BAM out of nowhere 1 day i went into the store and was called out by her.......HUSBAND(fiancee)(keep in mind i didnt know she was married), LOL. I am actually not mad at the guy because he did what the girl should of done a long time ago. Now I am completely over the girl.....but here is the twist.....I think her younger sister is attracted to me!! I mean she is cute but there is too many factors for why i havent approached her.....even if that whole situation didnt discourage me from approaching her, i wouldnt know how to talk to her and open up a conversation with her........i cant create an ice breaker. There is many more things i want to write but I'll just create another thread........what should i do.......attempt to approach her to find out if she is attracted or what???

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no!!!!!.....the girl i asked out IS married, but i am completely over her....have no feelings for her.......the problem is that i sense that her younger sister is attracted. The fact that i dont know is killing me. Should i find out if she is attracted 2 me or not, or should i just let it go?

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I know -


I know what you meant.


I was referring to the sister. I was trying to be funny, a bit, by saying make sure SHE'S not married as well, the little sister..... I was sort of kidding.


My advice is the same tho - if there is a way you can find out in advance if she's interested, before asking her out, I would go for that. Trying to find out first.

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I just gotta add that i am extremely pessimistic and discouraged when it comes to the issue of attraction. The only time i will think about approaching a girl is if i think she is also attracted 2 me. It kills me inside when I feel that none of the girls i like r attracted 2 me.I think i fool myself into thinking that a particular girl is attracted.......basically, i want 2 believe that girl "X" is attracted when in reality she isnt. Why does it have 2 be that way.....why cant i girl that i like, be attracted to me as well. To make it worse i have realized that even if that girl is attracted 2 me, doesnt gaurantee she will date me.......ITS so damn complicated........i am in need DESPERATE need for some advice. Someone save me, please...

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Well to be honest eightball - I think you're in the same place as a lot of people. No one really understands the game. No one is ever sure the person they're attracted to is attracted in return.


There's not a lot of people who are secure enough to walk up to another person they know very little about and ask them out. That's a HUGE risk that few are willing to take. Its hard. For most people.


You just have to take the hits, over and over again. Learn from them, try however you can to NOT take them personally, move past it and use it.


Most all humans have been there at one point or another.


I don't know if that's a comfort or makes it worse, but what I'm trying to say is that most likely any girl you'd look at, talk to or be attracted to has her own insecurities as well. Its not like you're at a disadvantage because you have insecurities and she doesn't.


Know what I mean? ...at all?

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