I told him i liked him....now what?

[littlestar]

I didn't have the balls to ask him out but i told this guy i know today that i liked him.....a lot and he said 'is that right?' and i said very much so and he had a big grin on his face.

 

I had a friend with me and he was asking her over and over in front of me "is that true? does she tell you she likes me etc etc lol

 

He asked if i had a drink for him last night and i said "yes" but it would be better if you were there to keep me company and he said he couldnt make it and i said maybe next time and he goes definitely....

 

And that was that...

Good response or not?

I didnt exactly leave with his number or anything or a date etc?

[Entropy Smith]

You don't really want to be that bold ls. However, all is not lost. Now, back off and show disinterest. If he shows interest be alittle cold to him. Mixed signals will hook him good.

 

Aggressive communciation like you did will boost a guys ego...but he'll be thinking he can do better...the trick...and its not always an easy skill to master especially in this era of clueless guys...is to get the guy to ask you out, sort of invite him to ask you out, but without giving him a 100% assurance of a "yes" on your part. That little tension is necessary to get the fire burning and weed out the wimps.

[Mythical_Suicide]

You don't really want to be that bold ls. However, all is not lost. Now, back off and show disinterest. If he shows interest be alittle cold to him. Mixed signals will hook him good.

 

Aggressive communciation like you did will boost a guys ego...but he'll be thinking he can do better...the trick...and its not always an easy skill to master especially in this era of clueless guys...is to get the guy to ask you out, sort of invite him to ask you out, but without giving him a 100% assurance of a "yes" on your part. That little tension is necessary to get the fire burning and weed out the wimps.

 

While I disagree with the whole "playing games" as some people just aren't interested in that and that may cause him to run or fear you're not interested and just push him away. I do however agree with the not actually asking him out on a date as much as inviting him to go someplace with you. Maybe even do something with another friend and make it sort of a fun outing instead of a date and then go from there and judge more by that if he's interested and either take it farther than that or back off.

[matius]

What you said was not wrong in the grand scheme of things.

 

It will boost his ego if he doesn't want you, but it would obviously be welcomed if he liked you.

[Entropy Smith]

"Playing games"...is not what its about...its about communication...you teach people how to treat you and if you want them to treat you wtih respect you have to make 'em step up and show you they are worthy.

 

I know plenty of females/males who claim they aren't into playing games and just go in directly. Then they are baffled why they never have any relationships. You can usually find their posts in the suicide forum.

[Mythical_Suicide]

You can usually find their posts in the suicide forum.

 

That was rather un-called for..

 

Now, back to what you said.

Someone comes at me playing games of interested one minute and not interested the next i'm going to just leave it. Noone wants someone who is "confused" and that is pretty much what you're putting off when you do that. Now, i'm not saying she needs to jump in and confess her feelings for this guy but geez don't play games either. There are middle grounds

[matius]

Ok, maybe I should revise what I meant. Yea, maybe just try asking him out first before telling him you like him straight away... I mean next time. I guess try to hold on to a few of your cards. But I still say if he digs you than you've made it easy for him. Some guys would think that's alright. If not, then maybe you don't need this one anyways.

[Entropy Smith]

Yea but she already put herself out there. By going cold it'll turn a negative into a positive. Nothing seduces liked mixed signals...alittle manipulative

...of course...but until trust is established which takes time there has to be certain rituals for lack of a better term to get the one you desire engaged with you.

 

Remember this is a male she is communicating with Mythical you are a female. Mixed signals on a male, especiall relatively young, are mesmerizing cause 99% of them are hooked by their emotions long before the rational brain can figure out whats going on. That comes later after many threads about breaking NC. jk

[littlestar]

mmmmm.....interesting comments. I used to be a game player in my younger days. Showing the interest thing and then when they showed interest back off a little and each time the guys just ran a mile. they thought i was some sort of idiot that would change my mind from one day to the next.

 

I was thinking of asking him out to an informal drink with me and a friend and myabe ask him to bring a friend along as well so it looks like an outing with lots of people and not such a date.

[Entropy Smith]

Again its not game playing. You might hook up with him, but you aren't gf material with the blatant approach.

[Mythical_Suicide]

 

Remember this is a male she is communicating with Mythical you are a female. Mixed signals on a male, especiall relatively young, are mesmerizing cause 99% of them are hooked by their emotions long before the rational brain can figure out whats going on. That comes later after many threads about breaking NC. jk

 

Yes but being a girl with 98% of my friends being male, I do know some things. Guys do talk and open up with and every guy i've ever known has said that if a girl plays the "hard to get" card they will run the other way especially if they go back and forth with their feelings because the last thing a guy wants is to get hooked by a psychotic bi-polar chic who can't decide who she likes or doesn't like.

[Mythical_Suicide]

 

I was thinking of asking him out to an informal drink with me and a friend and myabe ask him to bring a friend along as well so it looks like an outing with lots of people and not such a date.

 

I think that would be the best and safest thing to do.

You aren't putting yourself fully out there but he does know you like him so it's pretty much up to him to take the extra step with making a decision for a one on one date.

[Entropy Smith]

Yes but being a girl with 98% of my friends being male, I do know some things. Guys do talk and open up with and every guy i've ever known has said that if a girl plays the "hard to get" card they will run the other way especially if they go back and forth with their feelings because the last thing a guy wants is to get hooked by a psychotic bi-polar chic who can't decide who she likes or doesn't like.

Its a subtle art form. Noone said it would be easy. Your characterization of it a psychotic bi-polar is way off. Everyone of your male friends pines for the girl who they can't get. They aren't going to admit it of course to you or themselves perhaps...

[Mythical_Suicide]

Which is amazing you say that since all of my male friends are in long term relationships and /or married.. hmm.. yea.. love how much you really know

[tmp0620]

Entropy, I feel that you're way off target with this stuff.

 

 

To the OP, I don't think you did a thing wrong. Not at all. If he already had feelings for you, you just gave him a great reason to be confident and ask you out/ pursue you. If he wasn't, then he probably wasn't going to anyway.

[littlestar]

Entropy, I feel that you're way off target with this stuff.

 

 

To the OP, I don't think you did a thing wrong. Not at all. If he already had feelings for you, you just gave him a great reason to be confident and ask you out/ pursue you. If he wasn't, then he probably wasn't going to be anyway.

 

Thankyou. I was silently thinking the same thing

[Entropy Smith]

Which is amazing you say that since all of my male friends are in long term relationships and /or married.. hmm.. yea.. love how much you really know

lol...your user name says it all.

[toshiba]

I think that ES has some valid points about human nature, although I don't advise anyone using that as a method to attract others. It's better to be natural and be yourself. If being yourself means being manipulative, then the things that ES talks about will probably work, but it's not something that everyone should adopt when it doesn't fit their character.

 

In other words, I believe what ES says is true...people DO get hooked on mixed messages (psychological studies have proven this), but if someone does it--and it's unnatural for them to do it---it won't work.

[littlestar]

I'm kinda confused now lol dont know what to do, i was thinking of going there a few times and not saying anything to him and just see how he reacts to me and if he mentions anything. If he says nothing then i could take it as he isnt interested or shy? and maybe ask him to a drink with a group of friends?

[ghost69]

mmmmm.....interesting comments. I used to be a game player in my younger days. Showing the interest thing and then when they showed interest back off a little and each time the guys just ran a mile. they thought i was some sort of idiot that would change my mind from one day to the next.

 

I was thinking of asking him out to an informal drink with me and a friend and myabe ask him to bring a friend along as well so it looks like an outing with lots of people and not such a date.

 

you are still young.

 

anyways, i wouldn't divulge so much information to a guy right off like that. but i don't think you did bad. his responses sounded like 'okay, cool. but next time.' he does sound genuinely busy.

[JadedStar]

littlestar, his comments to you after hearing you liked him were not too good. Very vague. If he were interested he surely would NOT have said "maybe next time..."