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How to approach online when everyone else can read?


Unhumble

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I discovered a local (non-English) dating-like website in the country I'm living in, where young people get to know each other and often meet in real life later...

 

I would like to try it, but the greatest problem with this website is that everyone can read what you write to each other, there are no such things like PMs.

I wouldn't like others to read what I write, how I try to approach girls, etc. especially because it's in my city and many of my real-life friends are there as well.

 

So basically, if you want to approach a girl, you're doing it knowing that everyone else is reading what you're saying and writing - including your friends - and your whole circle of friends will probably know what you said pretty soon...

 

Any suggestions on this usual "privacy vs integrity" dilemma?

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hmmm no... it doesn't really work like that on that website...

let me explain: everyone registers, has public profiles (similar to facebook, but everyone can view everything, there are no private messages at all) and generally everyone exchanges some phrases to approach each other, similar to a public chat (or more like a "Profile message wall") and only after some time do they usually exchange messenger or e-mail or phone number...

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Just try to sound as safe and sane as possible...But I'd say, "if you want to chat, here is my e-mail," or something like that. You might not have a bunch of people respond to that since you're a guy and its online so don't take it personal if you don't have a huge response rate but its something...

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yeah, especially for an old-fashioned person like me it's a kind of shock (I still write letters, hand-written letters, to my friends, you know? and I also rarely use sms text)

i surely won't take it personal... what i'm a bit worried about is that everyone else - friends, relatives, ex-girlfriends, future girlfriends etc. - can see the strategies and outcomes of my "battlefield"

 

And let me also add that this is a problem since every girl can see which other girls I'm approaching.

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yeah, especially for an old-fashioned person like me it's a kind of shock (I still write letters, hand-written letters, to my friends, you know? and I also rarely use sms text)

i surely won't take it personal... what i'm a bit worried about is that everyone else - friends, relatives, ex-girlfriends, future girlfriends etc. - can see the strategies and outcomes of my "battlefield"

 

And let me also add that this is a problem since every girl can see which other girls I'm approaching.

 

I'd say get another site, jeesh. Women hate men who ask out all kinds of women around them unless those women tell them that he was so wonderful.

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