Friends bday - one doesnt want another going, im in the middle

[soulsista29]

I have 2 friends, lets call them Tara and Winnie.

 

Winnie and I went to uni together and have remained close friends. However of late she has become quite annoying with her constant complaining of others.

Tara and I have known each other for a yr. We have become very close friends during that time.

So through me, Tara and Winnie have become friends and now both work part time at the same workplace. Tara likes Winnie. Lately Winnie has been complaining about Tara about the littlest things.

 

Tara's bday is in February and she was thinking of having a dinner with close friends. She would definitely be inviting Winnie.

Winnie bday is in March and she was also thinking of having dinner with some friends for her bday. She said that she did not want to invite Tara. Winnie said that if Tara had a party she would go to it but did not want her coming to her party.

 

If Winnie has a party and does not invite Tara, what do I say to Tara? Closer to the date, Tara would definitely ask me if Winnie was doing anything for her bday.

Should I tell Tara the truth that she was not invited to Winnie's bday?

If Winnie tells me to not tell Tara about her party, should I lie to Tara and say I dont know of any plans?

Or should I not even go to Winnie's bday bc it puts me in an awkward situation?

[Censored]

Be honest all round.

This is not your problem.

[Lana0120]

Tricky one. On the one hand, Winnie has every right to invite - or not invite - whoever she likes to her party. However, I think it's bad manners for her to attend Tara's party and not return the invitation. That leaves me unimpressed with your friend Winnie's manners. If that was me, I probably wouldn't go to Winnie's party at all. If you do want to go to the party, and Tara asks you about it, I'd tell her about the party and leave it up to Winnie to tell her that she's not invited. At the end of the day, Winnie put you in an awkward position, that's unfair on you. If she doesn't want to invite her to the party, fine, but she shouldn't make you feel like you're involved in some way.

[Dako]

Simple.

 

Sit out the party and they'll either understand or not.

Putting you in the hotseat is unfair.

A friend would understand.

[greensleeves]

You'll only be in the middle of it if you allow yourself to be. If Winnie starts to talk to you about Tara, tell her that you value both friendships and prefer not to listen to her talk badly about Tara because it makes you uncomfortable. If you feel like it, attend both dinners and if Tara asks you about Winnie's bday, tell her she'll have to ask Winnie about it.

 

Hopefully by March, Winnie will come to her senses...she sounds small-minded and immature to me. It's not as thought they're enemies...they still consider eachother friends. It wouldn't hurt her to invite Tara to her party, it's only a dinner for crying out loud and the more the merrier.

[Gratsy]

You'll only be in the middle of it if you allow yourself to be. If Winnie starts to talk to you about Tara, tell her that you value both friendships and prefer not to listen to her talk badly about Tara because it makes you uncomfortable. If you feel like it, attend both dinners and if Tara asks you about Winnie's bday, tell her she'll have to ask Winnie about it.

 

Hopefully by March, Winnie will come to her senses...she sounds small-minded and immature to me. It's not as thought they're enemies...they still consider eachother friends. It wouldn't hurt her to invite Tara to her party, it's only a dinner for crying out loud and the more the merrier.

 

 

This is more of what I'd do. I've had a similar situation. I just told the girls that its between them and not me if they brought anything up to me.

 

Don't worry about it: its not your problem.

 

I also would hang out with the cooler, non-complainy friend more b/c pleasant people are more fun, but thats just me.