Crescent Moon Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 Is it? or is it not normal? State your opinion please! Link to comment
JadedStar Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 More details please. Is he unemployed? Are you paying for it all? If you feel there is not a balance, get out. And quick. Link to comment
Crescent Moon Posted January 25, 2008 Author Share Posted January 25, 2008 More details please. Is he unemployed? Are you paying for it all? If you feel there is not a balance, get out. And quick. Well, he has a job. He makes like, roughly 40-50k per year. He used to spend money on me, but for some reason he just told me he doesn't want to anymore - and that I should get a job soon since I'm unemployed. ( I'm in college, and he's has graduated a while back. ) Link to comment
MCR7 Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 hiya. my guy's not worked, in like -NINE YEARS- and because I hold a job we try to split things although it sure seems like I spend more than he does. He's got some dough, I refer to him as a 'thousandaire' (v. millionaire..see?) but he needs to get it together. I know I have spent TOO MUCH CASH on this man. Start saving your receipts and honestly assessing them. Really. Link to comment
KG Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 Most men feel GOOD when they can spend something on a woman. IMHO. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 Well, he has a job. He makes like, roughly 40-50k per year. He used to spend money on me, but for some reason he just told me he doesn't want to anymore - and that I should get a job soon since I'm unemployed. ( I'm in college, and he's has graduated a while back. ) If a friend told you this story, what advice would you give them? He makes 40-50K a year and doesn't want to spend ANY money on you anymore???? JUST BECAUSE? Doesn't sound right to me.... Something's missing... Link to comment
Crescent Moon Posted January 25, 2008 Author Share Posted January 25, 2008 If a friend told you this story, what advice would you give them? He makes 40-50K a year and doesn't want to spend ANY money on you anymore???? JUST BECAUSE? Doesn't sound right to me.... Something's missing... I just asked him and he said it's because he lost 11k from stocks or something like that. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 The question is.. what are you asking about him spending on you? Is he supporting you or are you asking about him taking you out to dinner every now and again or buying you something nice? Link to comment
Dako Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 Maybe he's tired of paying your way? If you aren't working, he might be nudging you to gain independance. The way you ask this question makes me wonder. If I were rolling in dough, I'd still get tired of being the walking wallet. Link to comment
jevonj77 Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 Uhm, I think guys naturally want to spend money on their women...but it depends. If the girl does seem to be a leach...and or is actually asking for money...that can be totally different. The reason is a guy likes to spend money on a girl in terms of surprising her, giving gifts, basically making her feel good while he feels rewarded and appreciated for it. If those attributes are not there...it can become a burden. Link to comment
greensleeves Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 Do you ever pay for anything or has it been one sided up to this point? Maybe he's getting tired of it and feeling used. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 I'm kinda picking up the vibe that maybe the guy is pulling all the slack here and has finally gotten tired of it and the chic isn't happy with the situation. Link to comment
CaptainPlanet Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 No you should be paying your own way. 50k is not a lot of money wherever you are from. If you're in Australia that is a pretty standard sort of salary. Link to comment
KG Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 Crescent, can you fill us in more? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 i don't date girls without their own income. i used to pay for everything for my ex of 4.5 years. she didn't work that whole time. i wasted so much money on that girl. Link to comment
yeawutever Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 Well if you're not working then maybe that's an answer why he isn't spending any money on you anymore. Link to comment
Natty7 Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 Is it? or is it not normal? State your opinion please! My b/f makes a heck of a lot more than me but doesn't buy me presents, pay my bills or anything like that (if that's what you mean). He does pay when we go out for drinks or dinner. (but sometimes I treat as well) We plan a lot of trips out of town (long weekends) and we usually half it or he ends up paying a little more than me. I don't expect anything from him monetarily speaking. It would be a nice surprise for gifts, etc., but I think it's pretty normal for two people to be able to pay their own bills, pay for their own vices/goodies (alcohol, ciggs, manis/pedis), pay their own way pretty much. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 Is it? or is it not normal? State your opinion please! I think that if the guy has a lot more money than the girl than he will probably WANT to pay more. Not that it is required, just that he would be a gentleman and want to pick up the big tabs and maybe buy her a few things. There is no right or wrong answer here but I would feel funny going out with a guy whom i knew earned good money and he was tight on the wallet. I don't want someone to be frivolous but if he can never buy me flowers, pick up the tabs if i am struggling, etc i'd feel he is just cheap or not all that into me. Edited to add: i just read where you said you were unemployed. How long have you been and are you looking for work? If you just decided to remain unemployed awhile and put the load on him then I'd say he is getting tired of it at this point. Link to comment
Alezia Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 He probably just got tired of paying for everything since I'm assuming your not paying your share? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 I agree with jaded star and also because if one person makes a lot more and wants to go to fancier places the other person cannot afford, the one who makes more should either treat or pay more than his or her share or choose a place that both people can afford. Link to comment
Natty7 Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 There is no right or wrong answer here but I would feel funny going out with a guy whom i knew earned good money and he was tight on the wallet. I don't want someone to be frivolous but if he can never buy me flowers, pick up the tabs if i am struggling, etc i'd feel he is just cheap or not all that into me. It looks like OP has been struggling, but is that an excuse? I don't know I guess I am an independent woman and want to earn my own keep. I think she is talking a little more than flowers... What are you talking about Crescent? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 I've never felt a conflict between being independent and letting my bf treat me to dinner or a show or whatever. I would feel that way if I let him financially support me, pay my rent, etc. unless we were living together and I was working in the home with our (hypothetical) child. Link to comment
Natty7 Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 I've never felt a conflict between being independent and letting my bf treat me to dinner or a show or whatever. I would feel that way if I let him financially support me, pay my rent, etc. unless we were living together and I was working in the home with our child. I don't think any of this applies to OP... I think she is just going to school is unemployed, and wants her b/f to continue to pay her way. I think she is asking for more than dinner, movie, flower, etc. He only makes 40-50k~ come on ladies... I think it's a bit much for the OP to continue to ask for money... if this is the case. Again, need more info from OP... Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 I was responding to your comment about independence and paying your own way. I completely agree that there is probably more to this story but if she's been paying her way close to half of the time and he just refuses to ever pay her way unless it's evenly split I might find that a bit cheap on his part. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 She asked if it was normal for the guy to not spend any money on the girl. That sounds like nothing. Nada. OP, was he paying your bills or are you referring to paying for dinners, movies, flowers, etc? I agree with batya that there doesn't have to be a conflict at all in being an independent female and still have a guy pick up some tabs and such. That is differnet than him paying your bills...i would never expect that unless married and it was agreed i'd be a homemaker. Link to comment
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