I have a Flirting suggestion!!!

[gigglyfreedom]

Hey! im a girl and i like girls. NOW the IMPORTANT bit: PLEASE read these reflections of mine.. theyre dumb maybe but who knows, you might find a bit of truth in them (maybe). If not, if its all totally ridiculous, at least youll have read a possible alternative view.

 

I Have a flirting suggestion that I just randomly thought of the other day... of course, i just wonder if it would work in our society that is so full of labels...where for whatever weird reason, everyone seems to 'need' (in my opinion) to fall into some category or another.

 

This here, what im going to say is totally stupid and pointless and im sure you've thought about it yourself at some point before, but i just want to put it in the open. What if... we just approached people and were like: 'i like you as a person/you seem a very interesting person (NOT woman/guy), would you like to have a coffee with me? (and im talking people in general, not just gay/lesbian/bisexual people... i say these just to keep conforming to the label rule).

 

or... just.. i dont know... wouldnt it be better (maybe) if people just went up to one another and made it clear (somehow) that they had noticed the other person (as a person themselves).. if that makes any sense?

 

like: 'hey, ive noticed you lately. there are few people (PEOPLE) in this world that have such nice eyes as you do. I'm (your name).. please dont think of me as a girl or guy (smile broadly and naturally, give a little laugh just to ease the situation and so they dont feel overwhelmed), (another little giggle if necessary).. would you like to go out some time?'

 

and if they say: 'sorry, im not into girls/guys'.. you can smile comfortably tell them that a) they didnt listen to what you said (at least you can think it to yourself and you'll know its true..

or b)- you say: neither am i.. (and it would be true anyways.. because of what you had told them right beforehand: that you like people, PEOPLE!!)

and c): you'll know then at least, (if they reject you again), that you were rejected for any reason other than your orientation - after all, why SHOULD a person be rejected for their orientation?

why LABEL orientations?

why not BE FREE?

 

I dont like to say this (and it IS just an opinion), but i have a funny feeling that even if a person WERE somehow, potentially to be attracted to you (even if it took time), sadly, due to labels and the STIGMA that comes with them, the minute you said: 'im GAY/LESBIAN' or.. you somehow introduced the possibily that you liked them because of their gender, theyd run away from those labels (even if they were the most tolerant people in the world, associating suddenly in a romantic way with those words, meaning: you, as a person who has used those words- directly or indirectly, when asking them out) would make them run away. SAD. but true. (in my humble opinion).

 

im not saying in any way that those words (in my opinion LABELS) do not, maybe serve a purpose. Perhaps they do. But really... do we REALLY need so many labels? And im of the opinion as well that SADLY, NOBODY escapes from labelling.. think of the 'sraight people' (yes, another label) out there who MAYBE (not all, of course and this is JUST an opinion), who have maybe felt attracted to someone of their own gender but have not acted upon their feelings. NOW, in a world where we didnt LABEL ourselves, a person who suddenly felt attracted to their own gender (maybe just a one-off even), would maybe actually ACT upon those feelings.. why? ANSWER: there would not be that fear of 'detaching' from the every day-to-day label (whatever label that is) - whether its: gay, bi, straight, lazy, sporty, flirty, competent, etc.. that we are always so scared of detaching from.

 

Thank you. and goodnight.

 

(i was just venting a bit as well). lol

BUT PLEASE someone out there .. tell me what you think of what ive just said, or goodness, try it yourself in the real world (the flirting by referring to the term 'person')! (please tell me as well if all of this is absolute nonsense).

 

 

[KG]

giggly,

This happened to me a few weeks ago...a friend I'd lost track of called me outta the blue...wanna have coffee?

The attraction is minor, but we get together for coffee every week now! Itt's cool!

I think yer post is spot on!

[Ava23]

Labels are simply a tool to describe and define who one is and what one's interests are. Period. Daughter, cousin, friend, mother, teacher, doctor are all labels. The problem is that society has created a hierarchy that decides some labels (heterosexual) are superior to other labels (gay, bi, lesbian). I'm a woman who is only attracted to women and has chosen to partner with a woman. I'm a lesbian.

And if a man came up to meand tried to hit on me in the way described in your post, and play annoying word games, it would still be a) obvious that a member of the sex i was not attracted to was hitting on me and b) I would still be uninterested.

Why not save yourself the trouble and simply find ways to connect with other bi/lesbian women?

I don't see how adding to the age old stereotype about lesbians stalking and preying upon uninterested straight women does anything to further acceptance.

[mgirl]

Hi Gigglyfreedom,

 

I forgot to mention that this thread inspired my 'stereotypes' thread.

 

Bravo.

 

Ada: you make some very valid points about labels and how we create hiearchies for them, i had never thought about it like this before.

 

But, i don't think Giggly was alluding to preying on straight women (or, were you Giggly?! Come on, fess up now ). I think she meant it is all in how you present yourself, that it is our responsibility to rise above labels and present ourselves as the person we really are, and to make people feel relaxed around us.

 

And, besides, who is to say every 'straight' woman is actually fully heterosexual? What i am saying is that some women are lesbians underneath it all and are afraid to come out. I have met such women and i do not prey on anyone (maybe that's my problem. lol). By being myself, i have simply offered them the chance to come out and be themselves.

 

Anyhow, i am getting off topic.

 

I liked your post Gigglyfreedom, it was very helpful. Never lose your voice because it's people like you who can influence and educate other people, and help them have better lives