does he care or not

[charlotte_skye]

Hi,

I wasnt goin to post about this but im really confused, i need some advice!

 

I have a really close friend who is also my ex, i broke up with him after 5 mnths when i was to go overseas, he was fallin in love with me and movin WAY too fast, i probably did go about things the wrong way by still being intimate with him after we broke up and still havin feleings for him but they just werent as strong as his and i didnt knwo if they would ever be, so i broke up to take time to think about what i wanted. the thing is i htink we were still way close mates cos he still hoped we would get back together.

 

anyways when i came back from overseas 2 mnths ago i expected things to be the same as they were just b4 i left, which was us still being best friends but they didnt, and i think they didnt cos he was totaly over me and didnt have the hold on hope that if we stay close we will get back together.

he said it was easy to get over me seems i wasnt there.

 

anyways what im wondering is this.....hes got no family, he has no job or car, sometimes he gets so down and has noone to turn to and ive always been there, he has a new mate now thats just moved back to our town and so they hang abit now which is good but i do so much for him cos he needs alot sometimes u know livin on his own n havin no money etc, but the thing is i have a job, i have very good family, i have security and savings etc so i never need what he needs in return form him so how do i know hes not just using me when he never does things for me? he has prob with money and hes been working lately on a temporary job, he owes me 800 dollars and offered to pay me back some but i said no and to give it to me later which he never did and has never paid me back since then even tho he had quite abit of money the past 2 weeks from workin.

he invites me out but only sometimes which to can be understood as maybe he wnats to meet a girl etc and couldnt do that with me there also, the other thing is though he asked me to go away on holiday with him n i said yes but then he asked someone else, he said he wasnt bein serious when he asked them and just wanted to make himself look good but it hurt my feelings....i just want us to still be good mates liek we were, i wanna know he still cares, its like if im not his gf im not anything u know, he doesnt know how to act with us just being friends.

is he using me? he never has money so i cant say he buys me things as proof he does care, but he did buy me somehtin other day as surprise , he cant offer me a place to stay cos i never need it, he cant offer me money cos i never need it and he never has it, but like the other day i was really upset with him and he didnt call, he said cos he was scared and ambarassed and didnt knwo what to say.

i dont know how to tell if he cares, i just feel liek i give alot and dont get anything back, but id ont need anything either but i guess i would like somethin just to knwo he cares, i dunno.

i leant him money for school but when didnt get in he spent it on other things , he tried to keep it to give it back to me but iw as away on holiday and it tempted him too long.

he buys food at shoppin for me that he htinks ill like and he cooks for me and sends me msgs to say hello and have good day, and times when weve fought hes wrote me letters sayin he never wnats to loose me as a friend and hes cried over the thought but theres just somehting that makes me think maybe he only sees me cos he has noone else and maybe he only hangs with em cos he has nuttin better to do and maybe he only keeps me as a friend cos i help him so much........

how can i tell if hes just using me????? i dont know how to see if he does seems i never need anything as such off him, and he never has money etc to show me in typical ways like inviting me out for the day to do something fun etc cos he cant afford to........

do u think hes using me??

[Cid]

I dont want to say this but it looks like he is useing you. If I was you I would sit him down and talk to him tell him that you think he is useing you, ask him how he feels about you. Things like that. I wish that I could say something better but at lats I cant.