Self Acceptance

[TelecasterMaster]

So, basically, I've done a lot of reading and I've come to the conclusion that self-acceptance is the key to contentment and decent mental health, and all else follows from there. I mean I can see why this is true. Take relationships as an example. I've always been very needy to be with someone and I understand now that this is because I've always needed someone elses love, acceptance and validation to feel good about myself. Whereas, I understand, that if I loved myself first and foremost, I would be able to be more 'take it or leave it' and not so needy. And in the long run, I know being non-needy and more happy with myself, I would be more attractive to the opposite sex anyway. So, yeah, I do tend to agree that Self-Acceptance is the basic bottom line - where it all begins if you like.

 

Trouble is, how do you obtain this unconditional self acceptance? I mean, I can feel good about myself for a day. I can even feel good about myself for a week. But eventually, something will happen that will piss me off, or I'll get up on the wrong side of bed or something along those lines, and the old negative, ingrained habits, will kick back in.

 

So, what advice can you give? Has anyone achieved this? With or without professional help? Was it really hard work? I don't know. Any help is appreciated. Thanks!

[shes2smart]

Practice, not perfection.

 

You just keep at it...and eventually one day becomes a day and a half then two days and so forth.

 

Then you get to a point where when you do something kinda bone-headed, you're accepting enough that you can laugh at your screw-up (in a loving way), say, "oh, well" and move on without having to berate yourself.

 

I doubt anyone ever gets to 100% perfect self-acceptance 100% of the time. If we did, there'd be no point in being in this oh-so-failable human form, would there?

 

As soon as you catch yourself falling into your old, negative habits, stop and become aware of what you're doing....then make a conscious choice to do it differently. This is how you cultivate new habits.

 

If you feel you need professional help to kick some very persistent bad habit, seek it out. If you want to try going it alone, try that. I've done both and had success with both.

[jettison]

Sure, just read this: link removed

 

image removed

[poloplayer]

I've done a lot of reading and I've come to the conclusion that self-acceptance is the key to contentment and decent mental health, and all else follows from there

I agree with you; acceptance is the answer to most problems in ones personal life.

[easyguy]

Keep training the mind to incline towards these wholesome thoughts. As s2s said, it is a matter of being observant. It is one thing to be controlled by circumstances which are beyond our control, it is another to step outside of the bubble and take it in more subjectively.

[TelecasterMaster]

Thankyou for the responses. I'm just on a bit of a downer at the moment anyway having split up with the girl who I maybe thought was 'the one' just before christmas. Ironically, I now see the reason she left me was exactly because I let myself think she was the one, and put her on a pedastol, instead of just treating her like any other girl.

 

I don't know. I'm tired of obsessing about all the things in my life, trying to control everything, trying to make future goals all the time, measuring myself up against others etc etc. I crave the day where I can just shrug my shoulders and say " * * * * it" and just live for each day, every day...

[shes2smart]

Sometimes the best way to practice self-acceptance is to accept that you can't accept some things about yourself or the situation you're in.

 

Sometimes, the simple act of acknowledging and accepting you're in a crappy place in life at the moment is enough to start the process of moving on to something better.