emma34 Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 K I'll start at the beginning. Through junior high and high school, my group of friends were pretty tight, some of us more than others. Some of us kept in touch after high school, some of us didn't. There is this one girl who was in our group, who...back in the day, I would call a friend, but now, I wouldn't. It's not that we had a falling out or anything, it's just that in grade 12 we really grew apart, and weren't really close anymore..and then after high school I moved away to university and we haven't kept touch at all. That was 3 years ago. I'll be totally honest, I don't think very highly of this girl anymore.. Anyway, she had a baby with her boyfriend...and while some of our other mutual friends were excited...to be totally honest, my first thought was how sad it was that her and her boyfriend were bringing a child into their crappy apartment in that crappy small town when both of them have minimum wage type jobs and can barely make ends meet as it is. Call me cynical! She is having a baby shower, and has not invited me...but her sister and our mutual friend Brit (whom I keep in touch with fairly regularly) who are putting on the shower, have invited me.. actually, they've been hounding me to see whether or not i'm going. My friend Brit has made me feel REALLY REALLY guilty about not having the intent to go. Apparently hardly any of her old friends are going, and she hasn't made any new friends since high school. My reasoning was just that I was very busy, and didn't have time..besides, I haven't spoken to her in 3 years! Thing is...I do have time, I just don't want to. Anyway, what do I do? Am I being a bad person? Should I go? Link to comment
HappyAsALark Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 If I had not spoken to someone in 3 years, I probably would not want them at my baby shower to be honest. Not because I didn't like them or anything, but just because that is akward and it seems a bit stingy. Like please anyone and everyone come and bring me a gift... Link to comment
DN Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 You are not being a bad person by not going. But if you do go - - -her and her boyfriend were bringing a child into their crappy apartment in that crappy small town when both of them have minimum wage type jobs and can barely make ends meet as it is. Call me cynical! what you give at a baby shower may make the baby's life just a little better. Link to comment
rosephase Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 If you haven't talked to her in three years it might be a chance to see if you still feel the same way. But no you don't have to go, and if you are going to be super uncomfortable then I would just skip it. Link to comment
PixelPusher Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Don't go if you don't want to. But maybe she isn't the person you think she is and you'll have a good time. How long would it be? Three hours out of your day, and you might be surprised. If you really don't want to go, at least send a card and buy her something from her baby shower list. Link to comment
Lana0120 Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 Just make your excuses and don't go. If you don't want to, you shouldn't feel like you have to. If she was a good friend or something, it might be different, but even so, at the end of the day, if you don't wanna go, you don't wanna go. Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 of course, you don't have to go if you don't want to. i'd send a card at least though. but you don't have to do that either. i would personally go, because regardless of how you think of the situation, obviously, any support would be appreciated. however, if the situation really goes against everything you believe in and you would feel uncomfortable, then don't go. i think it's a sad reason not to, but it's up to you. Link to comment
RayKay Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 You know...just because some people choose a different path in life (like staying in a small town, or having children younger) or don't have the same opportunities does not make them "sad". And sometimes not everything in life is planned (like babies coming when you aren't entirely ready!). My parents had me pretty young (my mum was 21), when they had very little money (we lived in a trailer for the first few months of my life...in a town outside the city!), and I was unplanned (my mum was still in uni actually and it was a "oops, I think the condom broke" moment) and I turned out okay.... It is entirely up to you to go, or not. But I would at the least send a card and a small gift or gift card for a baby store, or even something for the parents (like gift card for dinner out or something). I am not sure why you don't think "highly" of her anymore, but I can say people can change quite a lot after high school, and you never know what she is like today unless you meet her again. Link to comment
chocolates Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 baby showers are painful Link to comment
Lana0120 Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 I think the idea that pinkelephant suggested about sending a card is a good one. Just do that and don't go. Link to comment
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