krnelson2 Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 I'll try and keep this short and sweet but would really like some feedback, opinions, suggestions...anything. I have known this girl for awhile, we werent really friends but had good mutual friends in common (she actually dated a god friend of mine a while back, but he screwed up BIG TIME...thats beside the point though). I finally got enough courage to ask her to dinner last week. This was our first official date but before that we had been out many times at the bar with friends. I had been to her house a few times...usually driving her home from the bar...but anyway. First Date- Last Thursday we went to Dinner at a nice restraunt. We talked alot, got to know each other, had a great meal, a nice bottle of wine. things seemed to go great. Wasnt completely sure she was into it, but she seemed to have fun. We parted ways at the end of the evening with no kiss or hug. She sent a text a few minutes later thanking me again for dinner. The next few days we exchanged texts, just saying hi and flirting a little. The weekend past and I started thinking about her a lot. I did my best to keep contact at a minimum, but each day she started texting more..So I politely responded. This Monday I could not get her off my mind so I sent her a text asking if she had to work Monday Night. She said no. I asked if she wanted to hang out and watch a movie. She agreed, so I said I would call her on my way home from work. Second Date- I am usually pretty tired after getting home from work, and working out so I wanted to see if she possibly wanted to just rent a movie and watch it at my house or hers. But felt that this may have been moving too fast too soon. I called after working out and SHE actually brought it up that we should get pizza and rent a movie and go to my house and watch it....GREAT! We layed on the couch and cuddled all night, and ended up watching a 2nd movie (also her idea). While cuddling we held hands and touched for awhile, and ended up kissing, or making out I should say. WE did this on and off for almost the whole second movie. It was getting late so she went home. Once again a few short flirty texts were exchanged before falling asleep. Now I know that at this point I should have possibly waited a day or two to contact her, but it was torturing me so last night I sent her a text to see how her day was. I knew this may be a risk in contacting her too soon, but she seemed happy that I did. She asked what I was doing tonight (wednesday) but I have to work, and she actually seemed kind of bummed. So I asked her if she was available tomorrow night and if she wanted to hang out. SHE agreed again! So this is where we stand as of now...I think its obvious that there is interest on both sides. My question is...I want tomorrow's date to be simple but nice. I would love to just chill and watch more movies, but I dont want it to seem like all I want to do is kiss her. But again I am just so beat after work that I dont really feel like going out all the time. Does anyone have any suggestions of somethings we could do that would be low key but still semi-romantic and allow us to get to know each other better while still havin fun? Also what is your take on the whole situation above? From what you have all read does it seem that there is interest? I am not one to play games or beat around the bush so while I know that I may be taking a chance in contacting her (its been almost once a day since last week). But she is also contacting me quite often too. It all seems to be progressing quite quickly, which is fine with me. I believe that if something is going to happen whats the use in delaying it right? My only concern is that the last two people I have dated, I have ended up bein the one to get hurt in the end as they did not know what they wanted so I am a little leery to get to involved here. But I can say that this girl and this situation is a night and day difference than the last two, and its only been a week! Sorry this was so long, but any help, comments, suggestions for a third date would really help me out! Thanks All!!!! _KR Link to comment
Zampotne Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 I would say be honest with her-- Say something along the lines of "hey is it ok if we take it easy tonight again? I'm always tired after work, but I don't want you to think that I just want to stay in all the time. Could we stay in tonight and then go out over the weekend when I have more energy?" If a guy said that to me I wouldn't think that he was just trying to get with me, and that's why he wanted to stay home. Plus, I'd probably want to stay in and make out anyway =) Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 It sounds to me like everything is going right. You are waaaay over analyzing everything vis a vis calling too soon etc. Just go with the flow, be yourself and be cool. Romantic ideas (that aren't watching a vid): cook her dinner, play cards/video games. How about not being tired after work and actually taking her somewhere - the theatre or a reading or something. It sounds as though you want to stand out from the crowd a bit. That would do it. Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Why not take on a short date for a coffee (decaf if you need sleep) or a nice little cafe type bar for a quick drink. You dont need to put yourself out jsut to go on dates. If youre tired that completely fine. The point of dating is to get to know the other person, to see if this is someone you want to spend more time with. I wouldnt even ask if its OK. You dont need her approval. Just tell her your tired and want to grab a quick drink. If she is interested she will enjoy just spending time with you. Do all your relationships progress this fast? Link to comment
krnelson2 Posted January 23, 2008 Author Share Posted January 23, 2008 Tyler- No I have never had anyone seem this interested this fast. The last two were a few months and didnt really seem to go anywhere. The only reason I asked if she wanted to get together was because she is starting school again next week and is busy getting everything together, so if she didnt have time I would totally understand. And I guess I should clarify...its not that I am dead tired everynight after work and just crash when I get home, but sometimes its just nice to relax. I like the idea of grabbing coffee (we could always graba movie or something afterwards). I was thinking of cooking her dinner, but I might wait on that one for awhile. Oh and I DO want to cuddle and kiss her all night again..but she probably shouldnt know that Clementine- I know I am overanalyzing, i usually do. I just dont want to play games with her. I feel that I have been pretty real with her so far. I would rather the games be played in my head though and not with her...make sense? Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Do you want to sleep with her? Link to comment
girl friend Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Lol it sounds great! Keep it up! Mb get her flowers or something? Is always a good time! I don't think she'll suspect ulterior motives if you ask to stay in again. You're moving just fine, just don't try to handle her body too much when making out, keep it sweet atm. Link to comment
adahy Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 I definitely think she likes you. Women don't kiss and waste time on guys they don't like. I agree above that you are over analyzing things...a little bit. It's good to analyze some. After you kiss a girl, by all means call her (or text) the next day. The patience/waiting thing has a place, but that's not at all too forward. Also, don't be afraid to tell a girl you had a good time. Being early in this relationship, I would not be too honest or settle into a couch potato routine. Telling a girl you are "tired" implies you are not "excited", to them. Save the tired routine for down the road!! Men aren't supposed to be "tired" during the courting stage...only after your 5th wedding aniversary is it okay to relax Women also like to be wanted, so don't be too timid about expressing your desire to kiss her (or whatever). Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Are you suggesting that its not ok for him to be tired. That he should do everything in his power to ensure she thinks/feels he is attracted? Including ignoring how he feels? Link to comment
krnelson2 Posted January 23, 2008 Author Share Posted January 23, 2008 Thanks for all the help everyone!!! Here are some answers/replies to your posts... Tyler- As to your question of sleeping with her. I feel that its stil waaaay to early for that. As a guy, of course I do! She is absolutely gorgeous and a very sweet girl. But I am willing, and would prefer to wait (as long as it takes). I dont want her to feel uncomfortable at all. I have had relationships in the past that revolved around sex, sure its fun, but I dont want another relationship like that. I'm sure when the time is right it might happen, but I am not going to be the one to push for it. Girlfriend- It was amazing cuddling with her. There was light touching, nothing too sexual but very sensual I would touch her face and she would put her hand over mine as we kissed... very nice! Adahy- Thanks for the advice. I think you are right to an extent. I cant be using tiredness as an excuse all the time to just stay in. As Tyler said sometimes its ok to stay in and relax, but this early on its important to make her feel special and most importantly NOT BORED And it did feel right to call her the next day, i would have felt guilty not doing so as we had fun the night before and I didnt want it to seem like I regretted what happened. Link to comment
adahy Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Are you suggesting that its not ok for him to be tired. That he should do everything in his power to ensure she thinks/feels he is attracted? Including ignoring how he feels? It's okay to be tired, but making "tired" part of a regular routine in the early stages can have negative consequences. At this stage, women are also over-analyzing things. So, I'm saying it's not the best impression to convey. Link to comment
boo121 Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 This Monday I could not get her off my mind so I sent her a text asking if she had to work Monday Night. She said no. I asked if she wanted to hang out and watch a movie. She agreed, so I said I would call her on my way home from work. Why not just get straight to the point? Time / place / what you are going to do. Just say it all in 1 phone call. You don't need to ask for her permission, she should be glad to go out with u! Second Date- I am usually pretty tired after getting home from work, and working out so I wanted to see if she possibly wanted to just rent a movie and watch it at my house or hers. But felt that this may have been moving too fast too soon. If you think it's moving too fast too soon, she'll agree. If you think it's no big deal that she's coming round to your house, she'll agree. Does anyone have any suggestions of somethings we could do that would be low key but still semi-romantic and allow us to get to know each other better while still havin fun? If your busy coming home from work and your tired, then wait until the weekend. Just say to her "I'm tired, lets get together this friday, that way I won't fall asleep on you!" Also what is your take on the whole situation above? From what you have all read does it seem that there is interest? Yes. Take it slow though. She seems very interested. See her once maybe twice a week. you get the idea. Keep doing what you're doing. The message i'm getting, is that you're douting urself! your thinking "oh my god she said yes! wow! im lucky" That's fine, but don't place too much importance on all of this. You 2 have just got to know each other. Ask yourself, is she really what im looking for right now? It all seems to be progressing quite quickly, which is fine with me. I believe that if something is going to happen whats the use in delaying it right? like what im hearing! third date... keep doing what you're doing. Could go cinema (watch a comedy!) or bowling. Then end the evening at your place. Look at ur watch and say "I've got a lot goinon 2moro but ohhhkay you can come in for like 20 minutes...!" Link to comment
HappyAsALark Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 Cook her dinner and maybe play a fun board game to be just be silly then watch a movie Link to comment
krnelson2 Posted January 24, 2008 Author Share Posted January 24, 2008 Thanks All for your help. We'll see how tonight goes. I'm still not sure what we are going to do, but I will figure something out at work today I'll keep you all informed! Link to comment
krnelson2 Posted January 25, 2008 Author Share Posted January 25, 2008 Date #3 Ok so last night was our third date. We went to one of my favorite wine bars (i also work there) to grab a couple glasses of wine. Talked for awhile. I have a lot of friends that work there so we talked with them and just had a good time. After that we decided to go back to her place and watch a tv show on DVD that we both like. Things started out kind of awkward as we were both just sitting there watching the tv, she asked if I wanted to lay down...YES! So much like date #2 we ended up making out quite a bit, but it was a little more passionate this time. We both ended up falling drifting in and out of sleep holding each other. We'd wake up and kiss then back to sleep...GREAT! It got late and I had to work early this morning so I left kissed her goodnight and she asked me to call her today after work. Now the question...does anyone see anything wrong with the amount that we are hanging out...seeing we have only been dating for about a week (read the other posts to see our relationship prior to dating)? I think we might hang out tonight again cause neither of us want to go out and she has to work early tomorrow morning. Shes going to dinner with friends and asked if i wanted to join, but I think I am going to decline just because I dont know many of them and its all her girl friends so I want her to have time with them without me there. But I think we might do something afterwards. Any insight, concerns, suggestions, comments would be greatly appreciated. One more thing...As we were laying there looking into each others eyes she asked what I was thinking about...not wanting to lie I told her. I said "YOU". Is that bad? I mean it was the truth Thanks All! -KR Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 with this much hanging out the only issue might be if you dont start progressing things. as much as hanging out might quell any doubts she has about whether you like her or not, as a previous poster mentioned. What might create doubt is hanging out this much and not elevating the relationship to the next stage. Personally I say either cut back the time you hang out or start to elevate this thing in tune with the amount of time you hang out. Link to comment
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