lostandworried Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Hello, sorry I really dont want to get on anybodies nerves, I just really need an outside view then I know and not being silly or stupid Story so far, g/f starting to spend too much time with friends, allowing me to go and pick her up and take her home (i was about to move in with her, we'd just got a rent house together) and then she'd go out. She started to change into something i didnt know, i was helping her out with everything...i Got nothing back in return....maybe I crave too much attention Well I asked her if she had interest in me any more and she just blamed it on the depression saying its not fair to ask her etc. So I left for a bit, no texts, no contact I went back to try and talk and she wanted to sleep and wouldnt say anything, so i left again I should go shouldnt I. Problem is im signed into a rental agreement with her. Any words of anything would be so appreciated Link to comment
lunatic Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 When did you sign the rental agreement? If you signed it within the last thirty days you should be able to break the contract. The only problem is you will lose your security deposit. It also depends on where you are in the world. There should be some renters rights laws you can google to find out what your country/city/state/town laws are to protect your rights. Link to comment
alcide Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 you need to give her some more time before proceeding. Maybe you treating her too nice. Cause when some people get good things they tent to let them go. Link to comment
richmonder80 Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 drop her. she is a user and you are letting her use you. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Just leave her alone. Give her a bit of space. And if she keeps acting this way, I would leave. You've given her a chance to talk to you and she didnt. Link to comment
lostandworried Posted January 23, 2008 Author Share Posted January 23, 2008 Yes thankyou guys, I know Im being used, and the post about treating her too nice is spot on aswell. Im going to just go out and have fun with friends, do things I want to do and give her a week or two, me not making any contact. And then after a few weeks if its still crap we'll have to talk about whos getting the house, or whatever Im still furious so it sounds easy I know tomorow ill be checking the phone like a maniac Link to comment
1HelluvaGirl Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Has she taken any pro-active steps to help her depression (e.g. gone to counseling or therapy, taking medications or supplements, etc?) If the depression is a new thing, I agree with the above poster to give her a bit of space to let her sort out her emotions. If the depression is her constant excuse, and she has never done anything to help herself get out of it, then I would suggest you leave. Link to comment
lostandworried Posted January 23, 2008 Author Share Posted January 23, 2008 Thankyou again, the depression is new but she's had it before and on pills, I just don't get how she makes time and effort for her friends and nothing for me. Surely with depression its all or nobody? I'm just feeling so used though, tired and worn down Link to comment
Entropy Smith Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Breaking rental agreements isn't so hard. You lose your security maybe. Very rarely do they try to sue you if you move out, especially if they know you have little money to collect from. I'd stop paying altogether, move out, and let her deal with the aftermath. Link to comment
1HelluvaGirl Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 Thankyou again, the depression is new but she's had it before and on pills, I just don't get how she makes time and effort for her friends and nothing for me. Surely with depression its all or nobody? I'm just feeling so used though, tired and worn down You know, sometimes when people are depressed they push away the people that care about them the most. Totally not fair, and very hurtful obviously. Sometimes though it is easier to pretend to be someone else than to have to face ourselves with the people that know us the best. I hope that she is on medication now, and that she is working towards making herself better. Regardless, please KNOW that you do not deserve this treatment at all. If you need to leave for your own well-being, than you should. Do what you need to do. I suspect that the rental deposit is not the real concern here for you. yeah, you would lose money which sucks, but it is not the real reason you are writing. You are writing because you want to make this work and feel like it isn't. I am so sorry that you are going through this. My first recommendation would be to completely tell her how you feel. Let her response tell you how to proceed. Best of luck to you. Hang in there. Link to comment
sweetpea Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 Breaking rental agreements isn't so hard. You lose your security maybe. Very rarely do they try to sue you if you move out, especially if they know you have little money to collect from. I'd stop paying altogether, move out, and let her deal with the aftermath. Just saw this one. Your landlord can report you to the credit bureaus, and there goes your credit rating. Even if they don't sue you. Breaking a lease is not something to be done lightly. Link to comment
RayKay Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 Just saw this one. Your landlord can report you to the credit bureaus, and there goes your credit rating. Even if they don't sue you. Breaking a lease is not something to be done lightly. No, but he can arrange to sub-let or if they just signed it they should have a date they can back out of it. Here, it is generally no big deal as long as you give notice - they may either direct you to find a sub-let or they may have a list (in more popular buildings). The effort of finding other arrangements is better than moving in with someone where things seem to be rather unhealthy and uncertain. Moving in with someone whom seems to be rather wishy-washy of the relationship would be the last thing I would be doing right now. Link to comment
zestygirl Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 She may not owe you a response on her feelings - but she definitely needs to tell you where she stands on the house! My advice - be tough. Send her a text message that says something like - "take all the time you need, but I'm cancelling agreement on the house. If we lose our deposit - you owe half. Call if you have any issues". If she doesn't respond, my friend, you have your answer. Do yourself a favour and act "asif". Even if you are feeling vulnerable and unsure of yourself, fake it. Step in, take charge of your destiny. Even if she rejects you and you feel shattered, you've exited with all your manly parts attached. You may even soak up some of your faux confidence if you keep it up long enough! Good luck man! Link to comment
zestygirl Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 P.S. - It's illegal for landlords to report rent arrears to the credit bureau - although they can report for unpaid damage to property, a tactic they may try to adopt if they really don't like you....(i.e. - months past due...) Link to comment
JadedStar Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 P.S. - It's illegal for landlords to report rent arrears to the credit bureau - although they can report for unpaid damage to property, a tactic they may try to adopt if they really don't like you....(i.e. - months past due...) Rent arrears will destroy your rental reference. Link to comment
zestygirl Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 You are correct, and this is true - but you are talking reference as opposed to credit file.I doubt he would offer this particular landlord as a reference if he broke his agreement. The fact still remains that rental arrears may not be reported to any credit reporting agency (by law), I think - because if they did, the number of people unable to find shelter due to poor credit history would be too high. Link to comment
sweetpea Posted January 26, 2008 Share Posted January 26, 2008 The fact still remains that rental arrears may not be reported to any credit reporting agency (by law), I think - because if they did, the number of people unable to find shelter due to poor credit history would be too high. Interesting reasoning. thereforeeee people who default on loans shouldn't be reported either because then lots of people wouldn't be able to borrow money. Link to comment
zestygirl Posted January 26, 2008 Share Posted January 26, 2008 Interesting reasoning. thereforeeee people who default on loans shouldn't be reported either because then lots of people wouldn't be able to borrow money. Again, Sweet pea, you provide a rational argument- the point that you are missing is that I am referencing the law not what someone should/shouldn't do...or how society works. Personally, I agree with this law. Clearly you don't - but - that was never the point....the point is (last time!) THE LAW is that rental arrears may not be reported to credit agencies....arguing does not change this fact! The powers that be decided at some point not to detriment people's ability to procure shelter (quite a different thing than "borrowing money") Link to comment
lostandworried Posted January 27, 2008 Author Share Posted January 27, 2008 Tricky type of situation isnt it Link to comment
sweetpea Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 THE LAW is that rental arrears may not be reported to credit agencies....arguing does not change this fact! The powers that be decided at some point not to detriment people's ability to procure shelter (quite a different thing than "borrowing money") Yes, I see your point. Laws oftentimes make no sense, but that's what they are. If indeed that's true, then lots of landlords are getting shafted by irresponsible tenants. Link to comment
zestygirl Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 Since you seem to be absolutely stubborn on having "the last word" on an argument you have created in your own mind - one that absolutely nothing to do with Lost&Worried's post aside from the fact that you have just implied that he too - is among the ranks of the irresponsible - I will post a response, which is this: LANDLORDS DON'T NECESSARILY GET "SHAFTED" MORE BECAUSE THEY CAN'T REPORT ARREARS ON SOMEONE'S CREDIT REFERENCE. Reporting arrears happens after someone has already failed to pay their rent - and this reasoning implies that people would pay their rent on time more often, or get evicted less, simply because they wanted to protect their credit rating. Although this could be valid in some cases: BELIEVE IT OR NOT - MOST PEOPLE DO NOT GET EVICTED FOR ARREARS BECAUSE THEY HAVE "CHOSEN TO SHAFT THEIR LANDLORDS". If you would like real life proof of an average honest citizen who has found themselves breaching a rental agreement, perhaps you should read the above post again top to bottom and attempt to absorb a molecule of the original intent. Link to comment
sweetpea Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 BELIEVE IT OR NOT - MOST PEOPLE DO NOT GET EVICTED FOR ARREARS BECAUSE THEY HAVE "CHOSEN TO SHAFT THEIR LANDLORDS". If you would like real life proof of an average honest citizen who has found themselves breaching a rental agreement, perhaps you should read the above post again top to bottom and attempt to absorb a molecule of the original intent. The number one reason for eviction is nonpayment of rent. Regardless of whether it is due to "average honest citizens" who sign leases that they had no business signing, or who cannot afford the rent, or someone who is "dishonest" and intentionally screws the landlord, he or she is still left holding the bag. I got the original post. The OP signed a lease, and he is responsible for his part of it. That's what legal contracts are for. You can't get out of it just because it was a bad move or because someone wants to break up. Link to comment
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