zrehman Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Hey guys! Firstly, thanks for all your support last year while I was in the Caribbean and handling my Long Distance Relationship, your guys advice and wisdom helped me get through some hard times. Last night, I broke up with my gf. I am just tired and fed up with her lifestyle and I feel that she is unappreciative of me. Let me break down the events for you and why I'm fed up: January 7th 2007: I left for St Lucia, it was hard leaving the woman I so much loved, but I knew I had to do it to better my future. January 10th 2007: My ex and her new girlfriend went out to a club and my ex and her friend were making out that night. Just 3 days after I left! My ex apologized to me for doing that and said SORRY ... I forgave her and we moved on. January 22nd 2007: My friend calls me from Buffalo telling me that my ex and that same girl were at another club, making out and all over each other. I confronted my ex, she apologized, she said some sincere things which got to me and I forgave her. February 4th 2007 : My ex calls me and breaks up with me but still wants to be friends and able to talk to me everyday. She tells me that she needs to find herself, etc.. I posted help about this on this forum and everyone told me that she just wants me at her side and wants to have her fun. I was still friends with her and talked to her everyday. March 2007 : My ex came to visit me, we were SO good, we acted like a couple, laughed and just had a good time! April 2007 : She broke up with me again, and we talked here and there, than I came home for 2 weeks and we hung out everyday, but we had our differences when we hung out. May 2007: Everything was fine, when I left on May 7th, me and me ex were back together again, and while I was in St Lucia in May, we were doing great! June 2007: My ex send me pics of her when she was in MD at a club and her grinding on some dudes ... Pissed me off. She responded that she was just having a good time, nothing else. We fought, I forgave her. July 2007 : My ex came to visit me, things went well. One night when she was sleeping, I took her camera phone and went through her pictures. I found a picture of her all over some dude and I confronted her about it, and she had nothing to say and said SORRY and that she was going to delete the pic and never take pictures like that again. I BROKE UP WITH HER. August 2007 : Day after day, she would call me, and be extra nice trying to win me back, and would try to show me that she is trying to change from the party girl that she is and how she will not take pictures like that again. When I went home for 2 weeks, we hung out, it was nice, and I forgave her and we got back together. September 2007 : I head back to St Lucia, me and my ex are back together. November 2007 : My ex tells me that she was drunk one nite hanging out with her ex and she ended up fooling around with him. She flipped it on me and told me that I don't deserve her and that I should not talk to her or anything ... surprisingly it worked, and I forgave her and took her back. December 2007 : I come home, we hang out, I look at her camera phone and she has a picture of doing a photo in a way which she shouldn't have been, and she apologizes and says that she is sorry and shouldn't have taken that picture like that. I tell her right there, "Do you want to be with me or not? Cause if you do, I am not gonna put up with this * * * * anymore!" She tells me that she is "In love with me and wants to be with me and she does have fidelity issues but doesn't feel like she does anymore and it won't be a problem" - Me being dumb as I am, I forgive her. January 2007 : I took a semester off to study for my Step 1, so I am back home where she is, and last night I just got fed up with her * * * * and her partying ways. I told her that I do no want to be with someone who's lifestyle is like this and I am not gonna tell her to stop, but I can't be with her anymore. I went over to her place, grabbed my things and left. Since 11 pm last night, she has called me 30 times and left me massive text messages and voicemail's. Basically, she tells me that she is in love with me and doesn't want to lose me, and that if i don't want to be with her anymore, she is just gonna pack up and go home to NYC to move back with family and get her own place when she can afford one. The gist is that she is telling me she is sorry, and she loves me so much and is crazy right now and will do anything to get me back. I still haven't answered her calls. What do I do????? I'm confused, my feelings and heart want to reach out and hold her, cause I don't like to see/hear her cry. But the other part is telling me to think about all the things she has done to me in the past year and that she might just not me appreciative of me being a good bf to her. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 I told her that I do no want to be with someone who's lifestyle is like this and I am not gonna tell her to stop, but I can't be with her anymore. i think you were right right there. she is a party animal, this is not the first time you have had this conversation with her. she wants to go out and get sloppy drunk and fool around, you are past that stage in your life. i think you should break up for good and let her do this stuff on her own while you find a gf in st. lucia who will spend her weekends cuddling with you. good luck Link to comment
zrehman Posted January 23, 2008 Author Share Posted January 23, 2008 I am torn on what I should do ... Should I forgive her? Should I move on? I don't know what to do. I do know for a fact that she does really love me and care for me and there have been many times were it has been good. But I am just too tired of all this non-sense in a relationship. I shouldn't have to deal with that, nor should anyone else. I am just confused and every time I see her number on my caller id, my heart skips a beat.... And as for cuddling with another St Lucian ... I think I'm gonna stay single for a while, hehe ... thanks for responding Annie! Link to comment
thinkstoohard Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 I am torn on what I should do ... Should I forgive her? Should I move on? I don't know what to do. I do know for a fact that she does really love me and care for me and there have been many times were it has been good. But I am just too tired of all this non-sense in a relationship. I shouldn't have to deal with that, nor should anyone else. I am just confused and every time I see her number on my caller id, my heart skips a beat.... And as for cuddling with another St Lucian ... I think I'm gonna stay single for a while, hehe ... thanks for responding Annie! Sure, forgive her again. And then again next month. And then again the month after that. And then again in 3 months... See where this is going? I would walk away. There comes a time when that's all you can do if you want to respect yourself. She sure as heck isn't respecting you! For goodness sakes, she apologises for not deleting the pictures from her camera... Shouldn't she be apologising for the drunken flirting, not for being forgetful to delete? Link to comment
FreedomRing Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Big ups to my fellow West Indian folk But my advice is to follow the words in your sig line to the "T".. Link to comment
zrehman Posted January 23, 2008 Author Share Posted January 23, 2008 It's definitely tough. I do love her so much and I just hope that I can walk away strong and not regret any of this. Thanks everyone! Link to comment
zrehman Posted January 23, 2008 Author Share Posted January 23, 2008 Sure, forgive her again. And then again next month. And then again the month after that. And then again in 3 months... See where this is going? I would walk away. There comes a time when that's all you can do if you want to respect yourself. She sure as heck isn't respecting you! For goodness sakes, she apologises for not deleting the pictures from her camera... Shouldn't she be apologising for the drunken flirting, not for being forgetful to delete? She did apologize for the cheating and the flirting. I just feel as she uses the word "sorry" too much and doesn't really mean it. She will say sorry, and than again she will screw up and say "sorry" again. If you say "sorry" than you shouldn't do that mistake you were sorry for. I sometimes feel as though she is a little kid and I have to let her know what is right and wrong in a relationship. The funny thing is, she has been in more relationships than me. She always tells me how I'm the best BF she has ever had and how no one has ever treated her the way I do... Than why is she hurting me so much! She also tells me that all her last BFs cheated on her, but the funny thing is, I never cheated on her and she cheated on me. She is really good with her words and she always knows what to say and than I get confused with my feelings. That's why I'm scared to talk to her, cause I feel like she will confuse me if we converse on the phone. Link to comment
zrehman Posted January 23, 2008 Author Share Posted January 23, 2008 Big ups to my fellow West Indian folk But my advice is to follow the words in your sig line to the "T".. I do believe in my signature line, but every time I let her go, she comes running back to me. Link to comment
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