cheekychic Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 hello everyone... those of you who have read my previous posts will know about the relationship troubles i have had over the last 2 years and i have been repeatedly advised to dump my BF because he acts pretty disrespectfully.... well this is that latest developments....... in the last week and a half/ 2 weeks he has totaly switched.. and i mean really switched. he has been nicer then he has been in a long long time .. maybe even nicer then he has ever been. he has literally been all over me the whole time .. texting me all day telling me how great i am and how he loves me and doesnt ever want to lose me etc... i went to stay at my dads house for 5 days and the BF drove 200 miles to my dads house so he could be with me. he has said that he wants to make me happy and treat me how i deserve to be treated and he knows now that in the past when he has thought i wsa nagging him it was just becuase i wanted the best for the relationship and he was too immature to realise. when i saw him he didnt leave me alone and kept mouthing accross the room that im so sexy and he loves me so much. another thing he said was that seeing how amazing things have been in the last couple of week, he doesnt know why he didnt change his ways alot sooner and he wants to make up for lost time. its seriously like he is a totaly different person i dont know what has switched in his head but i am enjoying it alot and have never heard him say some of the things he has been saying in the last couple of weeks..... what do u think is going on??? is this for real?? Link to comment
AngelEyez Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 I doubt this is permanent. The only way to change how you act is if you've experienced something drastic...or you've been to a psychologist where they teach you how to deal with anger problems...and make you repeat "how to react" to situations...until you really understand. When I mean "something drastic"...it's like life and death situation...or an occurrence that really struck you deep down inside. For example, I read an article about a man who was for the death penalty, until he actually witnessed a man being killed under the death sentence in Indiana... Link to comment
cheekychic Posted January 23, 2008 Author Share Posted January 23, 2008 well there was something that happened 2 weeks ago that was pretty drastic id say.. he said it was that that made him realise what he was got Link to comment
cheekychic Posted January 23, 2008 Author Share Posted January 23, 2008 we had a massive argument .. the biggest ever .. that turned violent. we were both violent but he totaly lost control... i have never seen him lose control that bad before. i think it scared the crap out of him coz once it was over he was jsut sobbing and sobbing ( have never seen him cry like that before in my life) next day he was saying how guilty he feels and how sorry he is for the way he lost control and it made him realise a few things that he was turning a blind eye to for so many months and he is never gonna let anything liek that happen ever again Link to comment
livinginsbi Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Can people change - yes, but it also can be very cyclic. Bad behaviour - drastic moves-apologetic, feels bad - promises to change - gets taken back things are good for awhile - back to bad behaviour. Not saying someone cannot change - just be really careful and don't get caught up in the cycle and think "this time it'll be different". And usually if a change does occur, it's due to some kind of therapy so that anger is handled better, etc. Link to comment
EmotionalCreature Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 I haven't read your other thread but I would say give it a go though you may have some doubts and questions in your head. Maybe it was a wake up call for him, we all come to realization one way or the other. However take his words of "never gonna let anything like that happen ever again" lightly. I'm not saying you should not trust him, but 'never' is overrated. Someone's promise to change and someone's desire to better himself/herself may sound similar in spoken words, but they are two very different things. You don't want to look back and think there was a chance there and you both didn't even try. At least if it doesn't work out, you can tell yourself and him that you genuinely gave it a shot and try to make it work. Then if it works out, great. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 we had a massive argument .. the biggest ever .. that turned violent. we were both violent but he totaly lost control... i have never seen him lose control that bad before. i think it scared the crap out of him coz once it was over he was jsut sobbing and sobbing ( have never seen him cry like that before in my life) next day he was saying how guilty he feels and how sorry he is for the way he lost control and it made him realise a few things that he was turning a blind eye to for so many months and he is never gonna let anything liek that happen ever again Well, there's your answer. HIs reactions right now are temporary out of fear. Anyone can do anything for two weeks dear. When he goes six months or a year a changed man then you might believe it. YOu are going to stick around with this man until something really really tragic happens I fear. Please leave. If you two just had a violent episode and it shocked him enough to be scared straight a couple of weeks that is prettty bad. And it is very consistent with abusers to go thru these ebb and flows... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 we had a massive argument .. the biggest ever .. that turned violent. we were both violent but he totaly lost control... i have never seen him lose control that bad before. i think it scared the crap out of him coz once it was over he was jsut sobbing and sobbing ( have never seen him cry like that before in my life) next day he was saying how guilty he feels and how sorry he is for the way he lost control and it made him realise a few things that he was turning a blind eye to for so many months and he is never gonna let anything liek that happen ever again get out now. violence? not good. Link to comment
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