Conversational Tips :)

[Russ]

The forum perfectly defines my needs.

 

I'm at the point with my girlfriend where we basically know everything about each others day throughout the day. Then, when she calls me up, it ends up in a few random comments and about 30 minutes of silence.

 

Now, she called, so she wont be the first one to suggest hanging up, ofcourse. That would seem silly. When I do bring it up subtly, "Do you have to get up early for the gym tomorrow?", etc, she just says that she's alright, hence rejecting my offer. And personally, I dont really want to hang up either.

 

We've talked about it a few times, and she just says she enjoys the silence. Now I won't say that it's a lie, since some people do like a comfortable silence to share with someone, but hell, a boyfriend who can't hold a conversation is right in the same genre as a battery operated one. Not exactly my preferred direction.

 

Anyway, what are some conversational tips for someone in a steady relationship?

 

I am immersed in her life, but much of it, like her work in example, I'm not really a part of. For example, she tells me all about it all, and I know all of the people she works with by names, but hell, I've never met them. I can't bring them up in any useful way into a conversation. And there is only so much I can bring up about music, movies, friends, etc.

 

One more thing I should mention is that she likes the deep talks. From our relationship, to discussing why people do what they do and act how they act. She loves that stuff. Problem is, I usually forget what to talk about the moment she calls. Instead of taking away my breath in person like she does, I just kind of go dumb over the phone when she calls.

 

Ideas/Suggestions?

[annie24]

they have some books with topics just like these - like random conversational topics or dilemas.

 

other stuff - the news, current events.... maybe a situation you read on enotalone - if you think a person handled it right or not....

 

where to go on your next vacation together....

[Russ]

Mm, thanks for the topics. I like the forum idea, though I probably wont be referring to the forum directly

 

Anyone else?

[JonathanJonathan]

Like annie24 mentioned, current events are great topics to bring up that should inevitably continue for however long you want to remain on the phone. Politics, global warming or the conflict in Darfur are some topics that are great to inform each other about and discuss your opinions on it and whatnot.

 

If you're not feeling those, try sharing secrets with each other. Pet peeves, weird tendencies, future aspirations are fun to talk about, if you haven't already.

[boo121]

Good things to talk about are events that happen to us all the time. Then talk about them in a funny way.

 

"you know what i was in the que today at the post office and an old lady was complaining about the price of stamps. She was saying "stamps now cost 24p they've gone up 2p! ohh its a disgrace!" "I think it's fantastic that you can send a letter to anyone in the world, for as little as 24p... you kno what if i was working behind the counter and some1 said to me "24p it's too expensive!", I'd say "well why don't you post it urself then, go on it's only 500 miles up the road.... lets see how far you get with your 24p train ticket!" - i was rambling on a bit there but u get the idea.

[Johnny Walker]

Hey Russ,

 

WASSUP MAN...

 

I speak to alot of women, especially when I'm out at night. The thing that works for

me regardless of it's on the phone or in person is I keep it short. On the phone it's 15 min. and in person anything goes, depending on what I have going on. If you can

learn to listen to women and ask good follow-up questions, you'll discover some interesting things and perhaps get some interesting insight on a particular topic.

 

You can really talk about anything you want and if you don't have anything to talk

about, ask her some good questions. It takes practice but is an invaluable skill.

The ability to listen and ask great follow-up questions. Be careful.

Some women wont' stop talking............joking.

 

WHATEVER you do, avoid boring logical stuff - it put's everyone to sleep.

 

Good luck man.

 

Johnny

[PiranhaBraces101]

Hey Russ,

 

WASSUP MAN...

 

I speak to alot of women, especially when I'm out at night. The thing that works for

me regardless of it's on the phone or in person is I keep it short. On the phone it's 15 min. and in person anything goes, depending on what I have going on. If you can

learn to listen to women and ask good follow-up questions, you'll discover some interesting things and perhaps get some interesting insight on a particular topic.

 

You can really talk about anything you want and if you don't have anything to talk

about, ask her some good questions. It takes practice but is an invaluable skill.

The ability to listen and ask great follow-up questions. Be careful.

Some women wont' stop talking............joking.

 

WHATEVER you do, avoid boring logical stuff - it put's everyone to sleep.

 

Good luck man.

 

Johnny

 

Can you list some good follow-up questions to get us started? Thanks =)

[Ferion]

Personally, I don't think you should put too much stock on conversing as I also agree with your girlfriends idea of comfortable silence, but obviously you don'.t

 

And thats fine, ask about her day and don't be afraid to ask questions- they love it when you ask questions (it lets them know you're listening). Be curious about her.

 

She sounds like a intelligent girl who likes deep talks. Talk about something you are passionate about and try to let her feel good about what you do. Lets say- you play an instrument. She doesn't understand the feeling in which you get when you play an instrument to a live audience. Try to describe that feeling to her. Try to make her feel the emotions and rush you would feel playing that instrument to the crowd.

 

Of course chances are you don't play an instrument - thats okay, apply it to a another concept. Sports, music, acting...Everyone has hobbies, think about it.