I Hurt So Bad

[Lorraine H]

My husband after 12 years told me he no longer had the same feelings for me and walkws out last monday.I of coarse begged him to stay which he did,he even had sex twice with me (i know it was kinda stupid now).then on monda he asked me if he could go for a drive just to clear his head for a hour and did i mind.I told him no that was fine.he just didnt come back not a phone call nothing.

 

so i headed to my mums for a few days,today i go home as there are also 4 kids involved who has totally and utterly blnked them out to.even didnt cal his son on his 11th birthday on monday.

 

I left the house empty so that he could have some head space but he hasnt stayed there at all he has gone to his mates apparently to stay on there sofa,my husband is nearly 29 and these people are aged 20 and 19 and have a 5 week old baby.he promised me he would stay at home last night and that he would phone me to talk things thru as we do need to sort something out,however he didnt call and he didnt stay at home.his excuse the night before was he didnt want to be on his own.

 

Im just so hurt at the moment he tells me he doesnt love me,then he says well infact he doesnt want to be on his own and he isnt sure how he fels now.but everytime he talks to me he breaks m heart into shatters.

 

im going back to the house today as the children really have to go to school,i dont want to disrupt them anymore than i have to.

 

Its just im at the stage i just want to talk to him no matter what and have found myself constantly trying to call,email him,altho i know i shouldnt do it.

 

i then feel angry and composed for a while ugh aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

 

iand why be so cruel to the children after 5pm he has made himself uncontactable even if there was an emergancy i couldnt contact him.

Its like he is having fun with his new found friends and im here with the children broken and trying to hold them up to,and i feel i cannot do this mself.

 

when i go back today i have no friends or family in the area its 60 miles away to the closest and i dont drive,im also in a village so im pretty much contained where ill be.

 

Im so danm hurt if i had a reason and for sure knew it was over i could move on maybe i just dont know but im in limbo with him unjniwing what he wants but im not a doormat and dont want to wait to see how he feels.for me this is painfull enough and i just want the hurt over with,my chest aches and i get no sleep,i just dont know how im going to do this at the moment i just feel sick,tired,lonely,hurt,numb.

 

i also invisage him with other women and i cant help itmwhich winds me up to the pint of crying,i just cant let 12 years go and it feels like he just has with no problems.

 

 

i just so lost!!!!

[Emmabumble]

I know how you feel, I am being forced to face up to the fact that my 4-yr engagement is over. We don't have kids but a whole house full of furniture an memories which I have to clear out tonight. He won't answer the phone, gives me one word email responses and i'm an absolute mess. I feel sick all the time, stomach's in knots.

But you need to force him to talk to you as you have children. Why not go there and give him no option?

x