Performace appraisal gotten me down, and advice needed. (long)

[Jess...]

Hi ENA. I have just realised that my title is spelt wrong. Yes, it should be performaNce! Sorry!

 

Today at work, I had what I guess you could call a performance appraisal. It was completey out of the blue, and sprung on me, if you will. It was the first thing of that sort that I have ever had - at my workplace, or any workplace. It was negative, and although it will be a positive in the long run, it has put me in quite a sad mood. My supervisor gave me a sheet full of points she wanted to discuss, (my boss was also there) and some were written (what I found to be) quite meanly. I should add here, that I am in a very junior position, in an office, doing admin work and I have been working there for a year now.

 

There were the run of the mill items, such as working as part of a team, and being involved in discussions, providing input, etc, but there were also some more personal ones.

 

There were points about procrastinating - saying that I seem to take a long time to do certain tasks, as if I am trying to fill in time. The way it was written was quite blunt. I don't consider this to be true, and I felt a bit offended, as I try very hard to complete my tasks as quickly as I can, and sometimes I do take longer than expected, but it's because I'm trying to do them well, with minimal mistakes.

 

Another point said bascially that when there are mistakes, or discrepancies (made by me or somebody else), I don't report them to anybody for fixing. This hurt too, because as I'm the "junior", I still don't know all that much, and am still learning. The majority of the time I don't realise if I've made a mistake, or I *would* bring it to my supervisor's attention.

 

There were also points on customer service, answering the telephone in a friendly manner (which I already do), welcoming people into the office, etc. I am quite a shy person, I always have been, so it's hard for me to be really bubbly, and inviting, like they want me to be. I am working on it, I am trying, but I seem to get chipped for it often. The main reason I am so quiet and reserved at work, is my supervisor. I guess you could say I'm almost scared of her (explanation below). I'm terrified to put a foot wrong, so thereforeeee just get on with my job, with as little fuss as possible, and try not to ask too many questions. I think (judging from the 'performance appraisal') she sees this as, I need to be more outgoing, more confident, and "adopt a more positive attitude to my job", but I am normally a very positive person, and somewhat outgoing, but am afraid of upsetting her, or putting her in a bad mood, so I just sort of retreat into my shell at work, and do my tasks.

 

See, my supervisor is quite negative, and quite moody. I can never seem to do anything right by her, and even when I've completed a task properly, she will always find something to pick at me about. "You could have done this" or "Why didn't you do it this way". She said I do my job "mechanically". Very rarely will she give positive feedback. It's gotten to the point where I actually dread going to work some days, because I never know what mood I'm going to get from her. Sometimes I can walk into the office, and she'll be fine, happy and smiling, other times she will sort of grunt, and stomps around slamming drawers, swears, complaining about the boss (or how incompetent she thinks he is) behind his back, finding things to get up me about, and just generally makes me uncomfortable. Then, half an hour later, she'll tell me a story and have a good laugh - she's a completely different person.

 

I don't want to bring it up as an issue, because I don't want any [more] hostility from her, as she has mentioned several times that she could "make my life very difficult". She was sort of joking at the time of saying that, but I have no doubt she would. The 'performace appraisal' seemed like a good chance for her to get a few digs in, and I just feel that some of the things she said were unnecessary.

 

I guess I would like advice on how to put the "tips" they gave me, into practise, without setting off my supervisor. How to come out of my shell a bit more, without being terrified I'm going to get into trouble. And how to improve my 'bubbliness' in general? Just small things I can do to up my confidence, and just be more outgoing.

 

Basically, I've had a really bad day at work. It seems that while I thought I was going along ok in my job, my supervisor, (and thereore my boss) thinks otherwise. One of the more serious points said "At the end of the year your position will be terminated and reviewed, and we cannot guarantee future employment" What does that mean?! That if I don't 'pick up my game' and do what they expect, they will fire me? My boss said "That point sounds really harsh, but it's not" and then went on to explain something that I only half heard because I was in too much shock after reading those words. I'm wondering why he doesn't think it sounds harsh! I came very close to tears a few times during the discussion but luckily was able to hold it all in until I got in my car to go home, then the tears just came flooding out.

 

It won't be hard to take the constructive critiscisms into account, and learn and improve from them, but I just can't stop thinking about "Your position will be terminated and reviewed and we cannot guarantee future employment". It sounds so harsh! It makes it sound like I'm going to be sacked, (or they will not be needing my potision anymore) and then reviewed and possibly rehired. Does it mean in lamens terms that if I do not do all the things they expect of me, that I will not be re-employed next year?

 

Sorry this was so long, I just really needed to get it out to someone, and didn't want to burden my friends or family. What better place to get stuff off your chest than ENA? Thanks for reading, and any advice is appreciated.

 

I also want to add, that both my boss and my supervisor asked me had I considered doing any travelling (around my country or overseas). I said I would like to, but not right now, as I have a job, and can't take too much time off, etc. They kept reiterating that this was not trying to get rid of me, but they were encouraging me to travel, and to get out of my town, and possibly get a job in a big city (a few years down the track, or even next year) Although they kept saying "We're not trying to get rid of you, we just want to know what you think about it", I couldn't help thinking that it sounded like they wanted me to say yes, I want to travel, so they could have a solid excuse for not re-employing me next year....

[Scoobie]

I wish i could force you to follow my advice.

 

Start looking for another job, now.

 

While looking for another job now, potential employers won't call your current employer for a reference.

 

Believe me, this is not how performance reviews are supposed to be.

 

Working there for a year should be enough experience to find another job easily.

 

Don't sacrifice yourself for an anal employer.

[Stu147]

First of all, don't get hung up on the 'terminate and review' line. This just sounds to me like a year by year contract. You will not be terminate so much as your contract will be reviewed and possibly renewed. It could be that you are on a probationary period as is quite normal for juniors when they join a company. I had one myself in my present company when I joined. Seven years later I am still here.

 

I didn't see anything particularly mean in your appraisal, more just their honest assessment of your current progress. Of course it doesn't leave you feeling over the moon, particularly if you thought you were doing okay, but it is now an opportunity for you take ALL of the criticism constructively and see which areas you can try and improve on.

 

The comment about you acting 'mechanically' to me means that often you are seen as carrying out orders to the letter without inputting your own ideas into things. Quite often when you are given a task you are simply given a desired end result. For example, I want this report producing to show X. Y and Z. How you go about producing the report is the up to you, and there are always more than one way of doing things. What they are looking for from you is a bit of initiative to show that you can think for yourself and be creative. A previous manager I had once said to me "Don't come to me with problems, come to me with solutions". And he went on to explain. What he meant was, don't just say "this is not working" and leave it there. Far better to think first, then go to him and say "this is not working, but this is what I think we could do to improve it". This shows initiative and thinking for yourself.

 

Being overly outgoing as a junior in a new position is difficult, and you don't want to overstep the mark by being too cocky, but you do need to find ways to come out of yourself and to communicate effectively. Confidence on the telephone is part of this, and I find that this confidence usually comes by knowing your stuff. In the first day of a new job it's very daunting to answer telephone queries as you invariably aren't going to be able to answer any questions and you don't know who half the people in your department are. But in time answering the phone is just second nature, because you don't fear being put on the spot and panicking. Knowing your stuff will come with time and experience. But for now just be polite when you answer the phone, speak in a clear and steady voice, and make sure you have a pen and paper handy to make notes so that you can take messages where you are unable to answer the query yourself.

 

With regards to avoiding being seen as 'procrastinating' you perhaps need to think out tasks before engaging in them and having a rough strategy in your mind. Think of the optimum way of getting from A to B as quickly and accurately as possible. Thinking as you go may well hinder your progress and mean that you have to keep stopping and starting. Having an idea of how you will approach a task before you begin gives you direction and focus.

 

Try not to let this appraisal upset you. Take it on as a challenge, to both better yourself and to prove to your superiors that you can adapt and progress. At the end of the day they are not trying to kick mud in your face, they are trying to help you develop and grow. It is part of their job to do so. Turn your negative energy (i.e. being upset) into positive energy (i.e. being motivated and determined) and see if you can't exceed their expectations. If you can do this you will be so proud of yourself and it will set you on a good footing for the rest of your career.

 

I wish you all the best.

[Jess...]

I wish i could force you to follow my advice.

 

Start looking for another job, now.

 

While looking for another job now, potential employers won't call your current employer for a reference.

 

Believe me, this is not how performance reviews are supposed to be.

 

Working there for a year should be enough experience to find another job easily.

 

Don't sacrifice yourself for an anal employer.

 

Thanks for replying. Even if I did look for a new job, the earliest I can start is this time next year, because I've signed up as, like, an apprentice type position. That means the course I'm doing goes for a year. So I can't really pull out halfway through or anything. Well I guess I could, but I wouldn't want to leave it half finished, and not get the qualifications...

[Jess...]

Wow, thankyou so much for replying! I feel a lot better now I've read that, thankyou so much!

 

First of all, don't get hung up on the 'terminate and review' line. This just sounds to me like a year by year contract. You will not be terminate so much as your contract will be reviewed and possibly renewed. It could be that you are on a probationary period as is quite normal for juniors when they join a company. I had one myself in my present company when I joined. Seven years later I am still here.

 

That's reassuring. I have signed up for a position not unlike an apprentice, so a year by year contract, is pretty much what it is. I did the same thing last year. The course goes for a year, and then if my employer wants me to, I sign up for the next level (which I have just done for this year).

 

I didn't see anything particularly mean in your appraisal, more just their honest assessment of your current progress. Of course it doesn't leave you feeling over the moon, particularly if you thought you were doing okay, but it is now an opportunity for you take ALL of the criticism constructively and see which areas you can try and improve on.

 

I guess I just felt it was mean, because I've never had the appraisal before. I'm only young, and this is my first full time job (I have had other part time jobs, in a chemist, and a beauty parlor. Far more interacting with the public in those jobs!). My boss is very big on being honest. And like I said, it will be a positive in the long run, sure, it will help immensely. But right now, I'm more than a little disappointed!

 

The comment about you acting 'mechanically' to me means that often you are seen as carrying out orders to the letter without inputting your own ideas into things. Quite often when you are given a task you are simply given a desired end result. For example, I want this report producing to show X. Y and Z. How you go about producing the report is the up to you, and there are always more than one way of doing things. What they are looking for from you is a bit of initiative to show that you can think for yourself and be creative. A previous manager I had once said to me "Don't come to me with problems, come to me with solutions". And he went on to explain. What he meant was, don't just say "this is not working" and leave it there. Far better to think first, then go to him and say "this is not working, but this is what I think we could do to improve it". This shows initiative and thinking for yourself.

 

Ah, that clears things up a bit, thanks!

 

Being overly outgoing as a junior in a new position is difficult, and you don't want to overstep the mark by being too cocky, but you do need to find ways to come out of yourself and to communicate effectively. Confidence on the telephone is part of this, and I find that this confidence usually comes by knowing your stuff. In the first day of a new job it's very daunting to answer telephone queries as you invariably aren't going to be able to answer any questions and you don't know who half the people in your department are. But in time answering the phone is just second nature, because you don't fear being put on the spot and panicking. Knowing your stuff will come with time and experience. But for now just be polite when you answer the phone, speak in a clear and steady voice, and make sure you have a pen and paper handy to make notes so that you can take messages where you are unable to answer the query yourself.

 

Overstepping the mark is what I'm really worried about. I don't think it would take much to set my supervisor off, as her mood changes at any tick of the clock. I personally think I am ok on the phone, I'm pretty happy with my phone manner, but I guess it's not up to me to judge myself. I take the messages properly, I am always polite, and do my best to answer queries, and if I can't, I pass the message on to someone who can, but there seems to be something wrong with the way I do it, I don't know. I don't tell my supervisor who was on the phone the minute I hang up the phone, or some stupid thing like that. Just little niggly things that she mentioned in the appraisal. Really frustrating.

 

With regards to avoiding being seen as 'procrastinating' you perhaps need to think out tasks before engaging in them and having a rough strategy in your mind. Think of the optimum way of getting from A to B as quickly and accurately as possible. Thinking as you go may well hinder your progress and mean that you have to keep stopping and starting. Having an idea of how you will approach a task before you begin gives you direction and focus.

 

I will keep that in mind, thankyou.

 

Try not to let this appraisal upset you. Take it on as a challenge, to both better yourself and to prove to your superiors that you can adapt and progress. At the end of the day they are not trying to kick mud in your face, they are trying to help you develop and grow. It is part of their job to do so. Turn your negative energy (i.e. being upset) into positive energy (i.e. being motivated and determined) and see if you can't exceed their expectations. If you can do this you will be so proud of yourself and it will set you on a good footing for the rest of your career.

 

I keep telling myself the same thing - that they are not trying be mean, or pick on me, and I told them that I know that. They are actually helping me, I realise that. It was just a bit of a shock how blatant they were, I guess. And the fact that it was a bit of a 'surprise appraisal' - my boss just came in and said to my supervisor and I "do you want to have a chat?" and I thought we were going to have a staff meeting, but nope. I was the only one who didn't know. They said they are going to do it with the 2 other people that work for the company too, but they weren't there today, and I bet theirs are a lot more positive than mine. My boss actually said "I don't want to talk about the good things you do, because that's great. I want to talk about the things you're not so good at" and I thought "uh-oh" But, it will be of big benefit, and tomorrow when I am thinking more clearly, and not so upset, I will be able to really think about how I'm going to defy them, so to speak, and prove them wrong hehe!

 

I wish you all the best.

 

Thankyou very much, and thankyou again for your reply, it was most helpful

[BeStrongBeHappy]

Did they say anything positive in the appraisal? Outline your good points?

 

The thing about appraisals is that the boss is always encouraged to give you some 'needs improvement' points, but if they are happy enough with your performance to want to keep you, they will also give you some positive points about yourself. (Such as, 'X is a very conscientious person who takes her job seriously and works hard.')

 

If there are ONLY negative comments, and nothing good said about you, then you might have to take it seriously as an indication that they are warning you, perhaps even an 'official' write up that is a pre-requisite to firing you, in which case i would immediately look for another job.

 

If they have good points included too, then it is probably just a 'normal' performance review that all people must endure.

[Ash]

With reference to "your position will be terminated and reviewed", if those were the exact words, around here that would likely mean that the funding or resources were not being made avaiable to keep the position open. It's vastly different than saying "your employment will be ..." The later is talking specifically about you, the former is talking about a specific job position within the company.

 

Does this make any sense? Was there any feeling that your boss and supervisor were seeing that they couldn't keep a particular job function available as opposed to keeping a particular employee (you!) employed.

 

Other than that it does sound a tad worrisome. I certainly take the advice of looking around for another job. Always better to have options.

[Jess...]

Did they say anything positive in the appraisal? Outline your good points?

 

The thing about appraisals is that the boss is always encouraged to give you some 'needs improvement' points, but if they are happy enough with your performance to want to keep you, they will also give you some positive points about yourself. (Such as, 'X is a very conscientious person who takes her job seriously and works hard.')

 

If there are ONLY negative comments, and nothing good said about you, then you might have to take it seriously as an indication that they are warning you, perhaps even an 'official' write up that is a pre-requisite to firing you, in which case i would immediately look for another job.

 

If they have good points included too, then it is probably just a 'normal' performance review that all people must endure.

 

There was nothing positive said. My boss said 'I don't want t talk about the good stuff you do, because that's great, that's not a worry' or something like that. So it was all negative things, no positive.

[Jess...]

With reference to "your position will be terminated and reviewed", if those were the exact words, around here that would likely mean that the funding or resources were not being made avaiable to keep the position open. It's vastly different than saying "your employment will be ..." The later is talking specifically about you, the former is talking about a specific job position within the company.

 

Does this make any sense? Was there any feeling that your boss and supervisor were seeing that they couldn't keep a particular job function available as opposed to keeping a particular employee (you!) employed.

 

Other than that it does sound a tad worrisome. I certainly take the advice of looking around for another job. Always better to have options.

 

Yes, that makes sense. But I don't think it's a funding related issue. The business is a small one, only 6 people work there in total, and my boss's words were something like "We really need someone who can..." and rattled off all these things that I haven't been taught how to do yet. So I think that was more about me, and not about my position...

[BeStrongBeHappy]

If it were me, i'd be looking for another job, for no other reason than you want to be in an environment where you can HAPPILY grow and learn, not where you are under a microscope and being nitpicked to death.

 

Your bosses sound really negative too, rather than positively motivating you, they are picking at you. Every 'normal' review has a 'room for improvement' section, but should tell you what your good points are so that you get recognized for them and know what your strengths are to develop them more.

 

I wouldn't waste too much time there... you are young and the world if full of other jobs you can pursue. Start looking for a better position with people you think are positive and company where you could be happy, not stressed.

[Jess...]

If it were me, i'd be looking for another job, for no other reason than you want to be in an environment where you can HAPPILY grow and learn, not where you are under a microscope and being nitpicked to death.

 

And that's exactly how it feels! I'm so under a microscope! I can't relax for a second, because I don't want to put a foot wrong - I don't want to appear like I'm slacking off if I have a coffee break, or some other thing like that, that I'm sure my supervisor would find to use against me.

 

Your bosses sound really negative too, rather than positively motivating you, they are picking at you. Every 'normal' review has a 'room for improvement' section, but should tell you what your good points are so that you get recognized for them and know what your strengths are to develop them more.

 

That's what I thought too - I mean, obviously there are going to be points I need to improve on, but there was *nothing* said about what I do well, or *any* positive stuff.

 

I wouldn't waste too much time there... you are young and the world if full of other jobs you can pursue. Start looking for a better position with people you think are positive and company where you could be happy, not stressed.

 

You are absolutely right. I'm looking into heading in a different direction completely, and at the end of this year, I think I will resign. I have a few ideas about what I want to do - things that I'm actually interested in (this job feels like I'm treading water, or killing time, as I have no interest in the indusrty whatsoever) and it feels like such a relief to know that I still have other options (some that I have wanted to do for years) that I can possibly fulfill. I'm feeling a lot better about the situation now, more relaxed.