ConfusedDater Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 I'm so sick of hearing from a dayte that my entire body is shaking and my hands, damm I really would like to eliminate that one day. it's so damm embarrassing to be like that in front of someone I just meet. I think what makes me shake is when I go on a date with a female and she does one of the things below 1.Not compliment me at all 2. Not smiling 3.Not Talkative 4.Looking at me without saying anything Those are defintely 4 things that make me nervous on a first date. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 it sounds like you are shaking from being nervous. i take it you wouldn't shake if you were talking to your little brother or some woman you found unattractive. maybe work on relaxing before the date, maybe having a drink or 2 (not 8!) breathing exercises. and remember, she is just as nervous as you. you are there to get to know each other, so relax and have fun. Link to comment
MyNinja Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 Well, it's normal to be a bit nervous when meeting someone or going on a date, but there is no real reason to be shaking unless you're REALLY nervous (or is this normal for you when you get nervous)? I would say to not have your expectations set too high for the date because you will only make yourself stressed and tense if it's not going as planned. If your date isn't smiling, talking etc. it may be because she is just as nervous too! I can't say too much about the compliment thing, but maybe you can give compliments first to initiate things. If she isn't looking at you while speaking it could be a few reasons why such as: She's shy/nervous, uninterested, bored. i know I went off on a tangent there, but just try to relax and just have fun. There's no need to make a first date such a serious activity, it's not like you're going to get married the next day so just have fun and crack a few jokes here and there. Try telling a funny story and I'm sure you and your date will feel more relaxed Link to comment
ConfusedDater Posted January 22, 2008 Author Share Posted January 22, 2008 it sounds like you are shaking from being nervous. i take it you wouldn't shake if you were talking to your little brother or some woman you found unattractive. maybe work on relaxing before the date, maybe having a drink or 2 (not 8!) breathing exercises. and remember, she is just as nervous as you. you are there to get to know each other, so relax and have fun. I think it's no way to control it if she is not talking while looking at me. Which was the case today Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 maybe having a few things "rehearsed" before the date might help you. albeit, you don't want to sound rehearsed. but come up with a couple of conversation topics and know them in advance. like maybe where her favorite vacation spot is, or something interesting that happened in the news that day, and you were curious what her opinion on it was.... Link to comment
ConfusedDater Posted January 22, 2008 Author Share Posted January 22, 2008 I did try and initiate the complimenting but it didn't open things up much. But everything eventually turned out ok Link to comment
winchester3 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 Maybe your just old? My dad works with a lot of hand tools and some days he has the shakes real bad. Link to comment
Madman22 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 ur so sweet! I get a rash.....very embarressing! Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 Maybe your just old? My dad works with a lot of hand tools and some days he has the shakes real bad. hahah, no. the poster is about 24 years old. Link to comment
Madoc Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 Oh boy I remember my first mockup date I was not only shaking but it felt like I was gonna die. All I can say is relax after you made it to the no point of return zone. Link to comment
ConfusedDater Posted January 22, 2008 Author Share Posted January 22, 2008 hahah, no. the poster is about 24 years old. 32 years Old Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 ah, thanks. sorry i didn't remember the exact age, but i knew you were young. Link to comment
ConfusedDater Posted January 22, 2008 Author Share Posted January 22, 2008 ah, thanks. sorry i didn't remember the exact age, but i knew you were young. Thanks for saying young, lol I don't hear that a lot these days Link to comment
punk76 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 the 4 things you mentioned are things youre date (anyone actually) do when you are being boring. don't ask things like "whats your favorite color" or "do you like job?". sounds like you're worried about just getting another date. you should instead be actively trying to figure out if this person is worth your time. i've found that on first dates, introduce yourself, get comfy and then just dive in and get personal. ask things that are relationship specific. cut to the chase and find out what she is looking for and tell her what you are looking for. people who are serious about a relationship will appreciate it. people who are turned off by it either are not looking for a relationship or have things they need to figure out and are not ready for a relationship. nothing wrong with that. my favorite question is "have you ever been heartbroken?". always gets things going. also, alcohol helps, but not for everyone. Link to comment
ilovepoemsalot Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 Beta - blockers. Link to comment
Tethys Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 ilovepoemsalot You beat me to it -- I was going to say the same thing. If the OP's problem persists, to the point that it's interfering with his life, he might want to consider beta-blockers. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 take a shot of JD. you will be warm and open the rest of the night. Link to comment
ilovepoemsalot Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 BB's also help to stop sweating from nervousness too I think. Link to comment
glegend Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 My friend I used to be like that for many things. I found that repeating these few words to myself constanty helped me. "visualize and win, I can do this, this is done, I'm gonna win I'm gonna win" Link to comment
arianah Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 Cd, you have come a long way! Although I give you a hard time sometimes, I really believe you've made progress so congrats! Link to comment
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