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just had sex, really concerned. help!


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i just had sex with somebody that i dont know very well. we used a condom. afterward he said he's had more than 15 partners. should i be worried about std's? or am i just jumping to conclusions. how effective are condoms?


i think getting tested would be irrational, but i am a minor and how can i do this without my parents knowing? do free clinics offer this kind of stuff?

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you should get tested for STD's no matter whether you use a condom or not (There are a few that are transmitted through skin to skin contact and condoms serve no protection against them).


Go to your local health dept/planned parenthood and they should offer testing, but I think most places require parental consent when it comes to STD testing if you're of a certain age.

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Yes, you should be concerned. You don't know this guy/girl sexual history. If I were you, I would tell my parents ASAP. You might think you have to hide this from them, but in all reality, they want to be the first people to know. Trust me, they've probably planned for this day. Plus, they have experience and they can help you figure out what you need to do to keep your self safe next time. I mean, what if this person you slept with was a rapist or something? What if they kidnapped you and you never got to see your parents again? That would be a shame and very sad.


You should never run off with a strange person that you don't know. Sex is NOT that big of a deal. Not to go and ruin your life over. You don't want to end up with some disease like HIV sweety, that will never go away. You should take care of your body and want to keep it safe from that kind of stuff.


I really hope you learned something from this. You need don't need to be out there having sex with people you don't know. It's not healthy for your body and it's definitely not mentally healthy.


I am very concerned for you, and I think you should at least talk to an adult in your family, that way they can steer you in the right direction.


I used to always tell my cousins this saying.


Pretend you are a piece of chocolate...


Now, imagine that chocolate getting passed around from hand to hand to hand...


Do you think that chocolate will still be the same consistency after being passed around?


No, because after a while, it will melt and get old...


Now, imagine that piece of chocolate as yourself...


And imagine giving your future husband/wife that chocolate in the future...


Do you think it will still be good??


Think about that for a little bit..

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...Now that you have this innate fear of being a worthless piece of chocolate that'll never be good any more because you had sex (because I know you feel dirty now, like you're not good enough because you had sex with someone you don't know), and, according to the last post, shared that chocolate so now it's old and melted, think about this:


Chocolate bars are handled by at least one person before they get to their final destination. They work their hardest and darnedest to pass it to as few people as possible, but, almost inevitably, it gets shared a little bit.


If that didn't make sense, what I'm saying is that we all make mistakes. Mistakes don't make us 'tainted goods' or anything like that and make us worthless people since we've done that. It's not trying to not make those mistakes again that makes us bad people and 'tainted goods.'


Yes, having sex like that was a big deal and a big mistake, but no, it's not the end of the world.


And I agree: talk to your parents. They will be disappointed, angry - and they'll let you know it - but they also realize that they, along with all of their friends and everyone they know, have been in that same situation before... If you don't believe me, just pay attention from another room when your families get together... I heard family talking about how, "We never had sex like that when we were young..." "We didn't?" "Well... ummm..."


Anyway - learn from it, don't do it again, and talk to your parents... And try and keep your head up.

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Ugh, don't go making this a potentially disastrous situation by telling your parents. Its not the end of the world. Dragging your parents into your sex life is not going to be pretty. If you are mature enough to be having sex, you should be mature enough to deal with whatever aftermath you are given on your own, and without your parents.



Go get tested, most std tests shouldn't require parental approval. I dunno about where you live, but here they don't.


Try not to worry too much. You used a condom, many (but not all) stds can't be passed when using a condom. Just because someone slept with 15 people doesn't make them dirty and disease ridden. Someone can have 1 or 2 partners and have an std.

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I don't actually see any problems here whatsoever. There is nothing wrong with having sex with someone you don't know very well or having a lot of sexual partners. There is also no problem with saving yourself for just one person. It's called having an open mind. Something I don't think some people have on here.


The fact you had sex with someone you didn't know and you used a condom is no big deal, I don't see why you should need to involve your parents in the matter if you don't want to.


Anyways, since you used a condom you should be 99% protected against STDs. For peace of mind you could go to a free clinic and get checked out anyhow.


If you didn't use a condom then it would be a different story I think, I think you have very little to worry about.

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