shikashika Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 I have been known to blab incessantly to my friends , family and people I know. Well, I've been on 2 dates with a guy, who seems very keen...but he just cant shut up!! I think he's just really nervous. I think he has the potential to be a good guy, I just can't listen to him blab on and on and on an on. I talked to a couple of friends and a couple of guy friends and they said they've been known to just talk too much when they are nervous. so, if you are nervous on a first date, do you talk and talk and talk, or are you tongue-tied? I just hope when we go out again he doesn't talk talk talk about the most inane things! Link to comment
watupgangsta Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 man when i am nervous the bull * * * * just flows out my mouth lol..... he probably is nervous too. personally, i think if he starts to run his mouth, when it starts to wonder you could be like shhh what are you talking about, and then you start talking about something else. but when you do it, laugh, like you think its funny or cute and it shouldn't make him uncomfortable (unless hes REALLY insecure). Link to comment
shikashika Posted January 21, 2008 Author Share Posted January 21, 2008 man when i am nervous the bull * * * * just flows out my mouth lol..... he probably is nervous too. personally, i think if he starts to run his mouth, when it starts to wonder you could be like shhh what are you talking about, and then you start talking about something else. but when you do it, laugh, like you think its funny or cute and it shouldn't make him uncomfortable (unless hes REALLY insecure). ha ha... yeah he did say at one point "oh here i go, talking too much about myself again" And I, jokingly said "yeah, you totally are" but then he looked hurt and said, "Oh I thought we wre having a good evening" so i felt bad... but i meant it in a joking way... oh well! Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 It's hard to tell after the first few dates. He could just be nervous, or he could be the kind who likes to talk and not listen. I think you can test it by talking about something in your life. If he still doesn't shut up, or doesn't ask you questions about it, he's probably not the type that will stop talking. Link to comment
watupgangsta Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 ouch thats cold... haha he sounds pretty sensitive but im sure hes over it. anyway if you continue to see him, he'll realize you're not being judgemental of him and he'll start to be more at ease. to me if he acknowledged that he was talking too much then hes not the kind of guy that doesn't care about hearing what you have to say. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 Fun thread. Time will tell! When I get super nervous, I can become a bit of a mute. Unless I know ya. Then it's talk talk talk. Once I'm talk talk talk, that's comfortable. It means I trust that you won't judge me on it and will let me know in a pleasant way to shut up. It's progress from the mute thing. lol. But the thing is: maybe he had too much coffee that day (been there), not get enough sleep, nervous for reasons that have nothing to do with you. This is why I think Time Will Tell. Link to comment
need2bme Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 Just think, the more he talks, the less you will have to. Actually, I remember feeling the same way with my ex. I remember thinking, WOW, she can sure talk a lot. It helped me to get to know her. Also, the more he talks about himself, the quicker you can decide if you want to continue dating...;-) Link to comment
Whiplash Girl Child Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 You're going to get a lot of conflicting advice, here lol I think it's different for everyone. He could be chatty because he's nervous OR because he feels comfortable around you. Either way, it doesn't seem as if you're enjoying being with him. I've been on dates with "talkers" before. Some of them I couldn't stand being around because all they did was talk about themselves, or about topics that I had no interest in. The conversation between us did NOT flow smoothly. Others talked about more interesting things, and showed interest in what I had to say about msyelf. Conversation was smooth. My take on it is this: If you didn't enjoy conversing with him the first two times, you probably won't enjoy the next few times. But that's just my opinion. Good luck. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 the first two dates that I was on a date with my current bf, he would not shut up! I know exactly what you mean. Eventually, you'll reach a topic where you'll start to be able to relate, and he should calm down and relax. However, he could just be one of those that talks way too much. Link to comment
DatingIsSoHard Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 When I'm nervous I tend to be tongue-tied but that's just me Link to comment
poloplayer Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 Well, I've been on 2 dates with a guy, who seems very keen...but he just cant shut up It depends. I'm a talker, and tend to blab with others a lot, make small talk with strangers, sometimes I speak with the bums on the street, etc. If we were on a date I'd be talking a ton, but then again, I know that there are times for me to listen and allow others a chance to speak. Maybe conversationalist is a better word for me. Is this guy a 'conversation hogger?' Also, is he going off on pointless tangents? Tangents are fine, but if overdone it's like '...' and that gets a little out of hand. Link to comment
shikashika Posted January 21, 2008 Author Share Posted January 21, 2008 Also, is he going off on pointless tangents? QUOTE] yes... in my opinion... like blabbing on about emails from work or just saying "I'm the type of guy who does this... or i'm the type of guy who does that!" Link to comment
stella74 Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 He sounds like a bit of a bore. You could try interrupting him to talk about yourself to see if he's interested. If he's not, he's most likely self absorbed rather than nervous. Link to comment
shikashika Posted January 21, 2008 Author Share Posted January 21, 2008 He sounds like a bit of a bore. You could try interrupting him to talk about yourself to see if he's interested. If he's not, he's most likely self absorbed rather than nervous. Yeah, he did say something like "oh here I am talking about myself".. so obviously people have pointed this out to him before. but, when I agreed with him ( jokingly!) he looked a bit hurt and said he thought were having good conversation all night. maybe he just has a bit of ADD, he jsut seemed to be running about the whole night telling me how many articles of clothing he has from this store or showing me the t-shirt he had when he got in an accident and a magazine with his friends article in. It was too much!! My guy friend said he was probably just trying to impress me, but in a very goofy way. I think I'll still try another date...but I can't go in with this negative attitude.. Link to comment
poloplayer Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 Next time he starts blabbing and going off on a tangent, just lean in and kiss him. If continues to talk after you've kissed, then, er, well, walk away. Link to comment
lady00 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 What do you like about him? I'm thinking that maybe it is nerves and over time he might cut it out so the things you like about him might outweigh his blabbing habit? Link to comment
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