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not doing so good i just want to end this pain


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Life isn't that great is it? When everyday seems like a struggle. Those thoughts and feelings following you around all the time. There are some things you can't escape. And other things you just don't want to know. I wish there were a rulebook for life. Some kind of a guide that could tell you what to do or say. It would be nice if you could see it coming. I suppose we just try and take what we can get…...and keep it as long as we can. As much as we like to think or hope, there aren't any set rules or guidelines for life. They're something you have to define for yourself. One thing is certain. The problem with life is even when you think you're in control......you're not.


You've been doing pretty well. At some point you were going to be overwhelmed again. That point is here. And you can choose to let yourself be engulfed by it or you can keep battling to lift your head above it until it subsides a little.

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Hi Listeningear,


Remember those suicide hotlines I gave you on your other thread?


Can you call one of those?


Come back and talk to us, we're still here.


I know you said you went to your therapist and told her about your feelings of dispair a few weeks ago- and she upped your medications, I think you still need some more time to let those start to work, but I also think you should call your therapist ASAP and schedule an appt to see her, and let her know how you're feeling.


Don't go just yet- your children need you.

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Right now you are very down, and your mind is playing tricks on you!!!! It WILL get better, you just have to restrain yourself from doing something really bad until this feeling passes. Think about this..you don't always feel like hurting yourself, right? Its ups and downs! When you are a bit more up, you see things more realistically! Don't be fooled.


I'm glad you posted that because thats whats happening with me. My parents know I'd never think of suicide because I'm a fighter and I've never given up no matter how bad things got, but my mind is trying to trick me into dispair.


Listeningear please don't give up. It'll pass eventually.

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*Sends you lots of loving hugs* I will pray for that you. Please please please don't take your life! There must be something you can do. Treat yourself, get a massage, take a long walk in nature, eat healthy, but don't quit! All the small acts of kindness to yourself will boost your mood and your depression will lessen. You are a very important, wonderful and a strong person. Time heals all wounds and better things will come when you let go of your sadness. Keep yourself busy so you keep your mind off your negative thoughts and think of all the things you would love to do when this sadness and grief is over. I know it's hard, but you can give yourself some hope for the future. If possible go on holiday. Not England though! because the weather is so depressing! Go somewhere sunny. You can get cheap holidays online. No matter what at least one person in this world loves you and will be devastated if you died. You can always PM me if you need to talk. I'm not sure if it'll help, but sometimes just talking about a problem helps. Take care! x

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hey listeningear,

you're still listening yea?

talk to us anytime. we're still listening too.

i don't have the words to keep you here, but i know that when i face times of adversity i pray. there's not really any magical formula for that, but i'd like to believe that there is a God that does understand me and is there to look after me and other people. i usually ask for clarity, because life can be a bit of a blur at times. remember, if anything, just ask. your past has shown that you've been an extremely caring person, and people in this world need that...but take care of yourself first. if you need some time off from work, ask for a leave. if the kids are too much and you're too tired, ask for some help. rest up, get well, and treat yourself well.

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Hi LG, I just wanted to also weigh in here and offer my support. I've been depressed my entire life so I know how difficult it is to carry on. I've had a bad patch lately, but it comes and goes.


I like what one poster said about planning what you will want to do when the pain goes away. My therapists says that feelings are like waves. The key is to just ride out the really awful ones.


I thought I was getting better lately then had another setback. One of the things I do is to exercise, even when I don't want to. It raises endorphin levels. I don't know if you do that but maybe it might help. It's saved me on many occasions.


I take meds too but, as you probably know, it's an art not a science. It can be VERY frustrating finding the proper combo, but take heart. After years with my same Dr I think the right combo is coming together. Thereagain, it's one of those exercises in patrience that is necessary.


Can you call your therapist and get in ASAP or your psychiatrist? Is there anything you can do to distract yourself? I took up beading and when things get really bad, I sit down and make a necklace. It's sort of like therapy.


Please try to hang on and realize that dawn could be right around the corner.

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Thank you another day for your support its greatly appreciated as is all your replies its give a little light to feel im not isolated and alone in this depression.

I just want to wake one day feeling a little better so its at least manageable not spending each hour thinking ive stayed that hour and look to getting through the next one it is at the moment a constant battle with my self.

I know i am the only one that change things and am talking to my counsillor the best way i can what im not telling her is that the urge to die right now is so strong and so powerful that i have a fear within that it could well win

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  • 2 weeks later...

I dont know if youve had someone kill themselves in your life? But alot of people love you!!

and committing suicide may relieve you of pain but it will cause a lifetime of hurt and pain for everyone around you and everyone that loves you..

just take that from someone whose dad just did it..it hurts and not just for a little bit..it could take centuries to get over..

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hope there is no hope ive called and seen dr ive spoken to the support lines you gave me ive talked to my counellor but its all the same the darkness and the feeling of helplessness is huge im isolating myself from others in preparation i have to leave its the only way


Listening ear,


I urge you to take yourself to the ER right away and tell them what you are feeling. If your urges are this strong it is not something that can be managed on an outpatient basis- you need intensive care and therapy that only an inpatient facility can offer.


Please, go the ER immediately.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Listeningear, I'm so glad to see you're posting here again. What are your counselors and doctors doing to help you? I hope you have been talking to them regularly about your problems. There is ALWAYS hope...and I truly believe that you will get better. YOU have to believe that you will too.

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Hi Listeningear,


If you want people to help you I think you have to be honest about how bad it really is. Don't be ashamed of your feelings, you are not the first person who has felt this way and you won't be the last.


But if your doctors don't know how awful you really feel, they can't help you.

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