confused_guy84 Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 My new gf is waiting until marriage for sex so we've been doing a lot of mutual masturbation, etc etc. The problem is, she is very uptight about me getting anything on her sheets etc. It has gotten to the point where she takes the sheets off the bed and keeps a towel nearby anytime we get intimate. And whenever I orgasm, my concentration is broken by her fumbling around looking for the towel and going "oh crap", and scrubbing at the sheets because god forbid do I get a little on there. It's getting to the point where I don't even feel like it's worth all the trouble. How can I tell her without hurting her feelings that her cleanliness in the bedroom is a huge turnoff? Link to comment
m12988 Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 Yeah, i can see how it's a huge turn off. You almost feel like you're doing it in a hospital emergency exam room or something, all sterile and cold feeling and all that. Let her know that cum and sex fluids DO NOT stain, lol. The best thing you can do is just keep your cool, dont say "you always take off the bed sheets and put towels" or "you always (anything)" because that will only make her go defensive. Instead, say something like "When we are getting intimate, i really enjoy it but i would rather when we get intimate that we can just go at it with no worries of getting the sheets wet or trying to keep things clean. It kinda puts a damper on the moment and it makes things more spontaneous if we can just put the whole cleaning off the bed thing aside and just do what we feel like doing with no worries". Of course, don't imply any of it is her fault, just let her know what you feel, but don't do it in a blaming sort of way, you know? If she can't understand you're problem with this then wow. I totally agree with you though Link to comment
rocio Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 how about "my concentration is broken by your fumbling around looking for the towel and going "oh crap", and scrubbing at the sheets"? Link to comment
m12988 Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 how about "my concentration is broken by your fumbling around looking for the towel and going "oh crap", and scrubbing at the sheets"? If only it was that easy, lol Link to comment
rocio Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 If only it was that easy, lol we woman are smarter than we look and sometimes this polite talk comes accross more offensive than just coming out and saying what's up. Link to comment
confused_guy84 Posted January 20, 2008 Author Share Posted January 20, 2008 Well, I'm not trying to patronize her, I just don't want to hurt her feelings. Link to comment
rocio Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 buy her a new pair of black sheets? Link to comment
Tempcuriosity Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 if you absolutly have to let her know, just tell her,theres not really a nice way of saying it. and for furture reference, just sit on the towell and lay down...is she giving you head or a handjob, head usually shouldnt get to messy if she takes it in her mouth and swallows or spits' it out in the bathroom.... Link to comment
Kalika Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 Umm.. there's nothing wrong with bodily fluids. It seems like she has an issue. Perhaps she might be one of those "sex is dirty" people. There's help available for issues like that, if that's what is going on here. Link to comment
confused_guy84 Posted January 20, 2008 Author Share Posted January 20, 2008 Umm.. there's nothing wrong with bodily fluids. It seems like she has an issue. Perhaps she might be one of those "sex is dirty" people. There's help available for issues like that, if that's what is going on here. I kind of suspect that might be part of the problem. What "help" are you referring to? Link to comment
Taomagicdragon Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 Or she's just a neat freak. Until you talk to her and find out why, don't assume it;s anything more than what it is. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 Umm.. there's nothing wrong with bodily fluids. It seems like she has an issue. Perhaps she might be one of those "sex is dirty" people. There's help available for issues like that, if that's what is going on here. "help" for what? Just because she doesn't like bodily fluids doesn't mean she needs any form of help. I just think the OP needs to talk to her about this and help her understand that it kinda kills the mood and ruins everything. Oh, and I must add.. CUM DOES STAIN SHEETS!! especially black ones.. Just have her put a towel underneath you and just clean up afterwards that should eliminate the scrubbing the sheets in the middle of it all. That;s what I do. Link to comment
Bkoguy07 Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 cum on her? and then you hand her the towel and tell her to take a shower lol Link to comment
jenny_mcs Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 Umm.. there's nothing wrong with bodily fluids. It seems like she has an issue. Perhaps she might be one of those "sex is dirty" people. Yeah, I kind of get the feeling that's what's going on here too. I mean, cum on the sheets is not the end of the world- sheets can be washed, or you guys could put a bath towel on the bed, or have your fun n the shower, etc, etc. Maybe she's really conflicted about the sexual activity itself. She's saving sex for marriage, but she is doing some sexual stuff, so it just seems like the removing of the sheets and the frantic scrambling for the towel is her guilt manifesting itself- like she doesn't want any evidence of what just happened. Sorry, this really sucks. I guess I would just try to have an honest conversation, asking her if she feels conflicted or guilty about you guys fooling around. Link to comment
teknoise Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 we woman are smarter than we look and sometimes this polite talk comes accross more offensive than just coming out and saying what's up. +1 Say what you said here. Sugar coating it is not going to get anything done. She'll just rationalize her position, and you'll be coaxed back to your corner. You are the one getting thrown around here, so stick up for your position and let her know that she is killing the mood. Certainly don't be rude, but be honest and straightforward. That'll get you 100 times farther than sugar coating and holding back what you really think. Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 Well, I don't think I could date anyone like this in the first place. Their frame of reference would be too different from mine about so many things, this being only symptomatic of so many other incompatibilities. And, this being just the tip of the iceberg about her sexuality. However, since you seem to really care for her and this relationship, I would definitely tell her straightforwardly, before things get really hot and heavy, "I am feeling wary about this progressing further because of the way things end up. When I get to the point of cumming, and you start with the towels and worrying about what's happening to the bedsheets, I don't really feel good about doing this anymore. Sex is not neat and tidy, really, so the fact that all your attention is going there when we are in a passionate moment just kills it for me. I really think we need to figure something out so that you and I can share those peak moments without my feeling I'm ruining the furniture and that's all it's about. Because that just makes me not want to even start in on this." Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 'don't worry about the towel, keep going'. that's what i'd say. if she gets upset she will have to deal with it. when i hook a girl up with some, i don't fumble around looking for everything. she gets my full attention. Link to comment
amtjrtcet Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 My new gf is waiting until marriage for sex so we've been doing a lot of mutual masturbation, etc etc. The problem is, she is very uptight about me getting anything on her sheets etc. It has gotten to the point where she takes the sheets off the bed and keeps a towel nearby anytime we get intimate. And whenever I orgasm, my concentration is broken by her fumbling around looking for the towel and going "oh crap", and scrubbing at the sheets because god forbid do I get a little on there. It's getting to the point where I don't even feel like it's worth all the trouble. How can I tell her without hurting her feelings that her cleanliness in the bedroom is a huge turnoff? lol sounds like something Bre on Desperate Housewives would do Link to comment
Natty7 Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 buy her a new pair of black sheets? Oh noooo.... not black... make it white! ha ha... Black and darker shades just accentuate the stain. If it's a lighter color~ then it's all good. I agree with the posters, just be frank.... babe, you turn me on so much that I need to explode all over the place, but you are constantly breaking my mojo when you aren't into it with me and just fumbling around making sure there is no mess. You want me to have the best orgasm possible right? So let's not sweat the small things. Would that go over? Link to comment
Mavh25 Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Does she live with parents? Link to comment
teknoise Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Oh noooo.... not black... make it white! ha ha... Black and darker shades just accentuate the stain. If it's a lighter color~ then it's all good. Nono... not white either.. go with a tan or an earth tone! Link to comment
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