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What would be better for my daughter, Chloe?


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She's a mere 9 months and currently I work the typical M-F shift, eight hours each day. I've been offered a new job where I'd be working on average 3.5hours every week. The proposed schedule is below:


Monday 1: off

Tuesday 1: off

Wednesday 1: 9-9

Thursday 1: 9-9

Friday 1: off

Saturday 1: off

Sunday 1: off


Monday 2: 9-9

Tuesday 2: 9-9

Wednesday 2: off

Thursday 2: off

Friday 2: 9-9

Saturday 2: 9-9

Sunday 2: 10-6


I'd only make on average $760 more per month and of that approx. $400 would go to the weekend daycare that she doesn't have to have now. Also, I'd have to work Christmas Eve until 6PM and possibly Thanksgiving until 3PM, oh and Easter at 10AM.


The biggest pro is that it's close to the house and would save me $200 in gas each month.


I guess I'm willing to do whatever is best for my daughter and some argue that having FULL DAYS with your child is WAY better than seeing them in the mornings or evenings. Do you agree?


I want to enrich her life and if I would be more able to do that by working 7/14 days rather than 10/14 days, then that would seem the obvious choice. But on the other hand, if that seems a sacrifice in routine, then no way.


Please help. I have really been struggling with this.

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I should add that I might not have to work holidays or eves of holidays but I have a 50% likelihood of doing so.


I'll also add the job is harder than my current one, but I may be a little too complacent in my current job. I'm not learning as much as I could.


PLEASE though, only focus on what you think may be best for a growing child. In the work that I do, it's not likely I could get my Monday through Friday job back... the current position I hold is sort of unique to the profession of pharmacy and only a small percentage of pharmacists work M-F.

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hey, could you propose a schedule that would leave you with four days off one week and 3 days off another (just to spread it out)? I'm just afraid that this new schedule (12 hrs a day=5 days a week for one week) might leave you incredibly exhausted and have no energy for your child. Though it's nice that you have five full days every other week to give you rest. But the one week with only two days off might just be stressfull. My sister works crazy hours in retail and has no energy for my nephew on her days off-similar schedules as you and she is constantly stressed and feels bad that on her days off she has no energy to play with my nephew and she's burnt.


But do what you need. If this is what you have, then try it out for a bit...you are a pharmacist and there are always good jobs available and I'm sure you'd be able to find another one if this one is just too much for you...see how it goes and yes, haveing those full days with your baby is good.

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harmony, thanks so much for the perspective. Right now, I leave my job in a comfortable mindframe and have plenty of time for Chloe. I don't want that to fall by the wayside. Thank you for the insightful response! You took alot of care to size up the schedule I see (perceiving that one week is rougher than the next). I do have some slight concerns about being wiped out one week, but then, if I just look at everything as two/three on and two/three off... then, I don't think in terms of weeks.

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oh, i totally see what you mean. yeah, looking at it that way makes more sense and I think it does appear more balanced in terms of days on/days off over the course of the two weeks. I just hope that you're not so wiped out with such long hours...but yes, it seems that you will have a lot of time with your baby...even if you are tired. just being in her presense for those days off will be good and you can do some outdoor daytime things. I would certainly try it out...you basically have 7 days off every two weeks and that is good time. but just be sure you see how she reacts when you spend time with her...I'm not sure how the full days without her psychologically effect a growing baby...but you seem smart, just watch for any signs of attachment issues. But I think your schedule seems ok. my nephew is 3 now and he's just a wonderful kid. happy, healthy and well-adjusted as can be...and my sister and her husband work crazy hours and he's been in daycare since he was very young...my sister works like 11am -11pm four days a week (three days off per week). and her husband works morning shift (7-5ish pm)...so she takes him to daycare in the am and her husband picks him up in the evening. So he has time with both of them each day. do you have anyone helping out...family members?

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when Mama is happy, baby is happy. So i think the best job would be whatever job you think will be best for you mentally and physically.


a lot would depend on the job too... would the job just be a long day, or wear you out emotionally and physically?


only 6 out of 14 days are 'long' days, so that gives you lots of days where you are off entirely like 'mini' vacations to get out and do more. BUT if the job itself is exhausting, you don't want to take it.


how did you feel when you got three day weekends with the current job. did you like them a lot, feel more rested? like being away from the 5 day week 'grind'?


also, how far do you commute, and how much time would that save you per day? i've had jobs where i had to drive 1 1/2 each way anyway, so it was like a 12 hour day, and being close to home is a huge advantage if you have a child and don't waste time in the car. so don't forget to include the extra time you commute to your current job because that is like 'working' extra hours, but you don't get paid for them.


if you save $200/month in gas, you 'net' increase would be $560/month, which is a good increase.


also, which company has better benefits, time off, sick leave, healthcare etc.


i'd look at the total package and decide what is right based on that. your baby will do fine if you are fine!

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Thank you, Harmony! Again, it is so helpful knowing of a pharmacist who also has this schedule sort of... I guess I'd see her in the morning if I work her up a tad early - plus, I'm the one who drops her off at daycare... so there's no doubt in that.


Robert's mother lives in the area and has offered to help but she would be commuting a lot with Chloe and I'm not into her traveling around with Chloe since the most common cause for death in children under five years of age is vehicular... She would provide great love for Chloe, however, I just worry about the possibility of a wreck. Also, scratch the benefits of the commute if I end up having to drive twenty minutes to her house every morning... hardly a savings... but then again, I save $$$ on daycare... but she's already stretched mightily thin...as it is with three grandchildren in the area and the possibility of another soon (her daughter is pregnant and has a drug addiction so it's quite possible his mother might end up taking care of the unborn grandchild and her daughter... whom I'm not exactly thrilled with.


Bottom line, I'm not thrilled with the daycare options... but maybe I need to spend a little more time on that part of things.


BeStrong, thank you for the feedback. I agree if Mommy is happy, baby is also. I just hope the job doesn't have me pulling my hair out by the end of the day... I doubt it will... but sometimes, retail can feel like a trainwreck.

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I'm about ready to go with the current job since it allows me to see Chloe for at least five hours each day and leaves little room for missed illnesses or just odd peculiarities that the other caretakers may not pick up on. I think kids generally like routine anyway.

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