SeaBisquit Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 myboyfriend thinks i'm bi-sexual because i have a few friends that are gay. he even went so far as to ask me if i would have sex with a girl in front of him. i'm not gay or bi and i don't thinks it's fair that he judges me that way. i have know problem with my friends for being gay i accept them the way they are. he doesn't believe me cause he say if i was straight i would hang out with straight girls not lesbians. when i go out with my friends we all dance together and he thinks for that reason that i'm like them. i don't know why he has such a problem with my friends could he be insecure? Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 Tell him not be so narrowminded. Tell him if anyone knows your sexuality its you, and if he was friends with a gay man would that make him gay? Plenty of my friends are bisexual! It doesnt mean I want to have sex with them! You need to tell him that asking you questions like that is unacceptable and judging you like that is unacceptable. Are you not offended? Link to comment
EQD Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 what bothers me is how he wants you to have sex with a girl in front of him.. i am all for expirimentation but it sounds like there are some relationship issues underneath the surface.. i dont like his attitude towards you from what you have wrote. He seems insensitive and uncaring. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 He is only using your friends as a segue to ask you to have sex with a woman in front of him. It isn't insecurity or an aversion to your gay friends. He is just being horny and wants an excuse to ask you to have sex wtih a girl while he watches or joins in. Link to comment
theartofruin Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 He is only using your friends as a segue to ask you to have sex with a woman in front of him. It isn't insecurity or an aversion to your gay friends. He is just being horny and wants an excuse to ask you to have sex wtih a girl while he watches or joins in. Exactly what I was about to say. He's just being a normal guy. Link to comment
CandyKins Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 It really doesn't matter if you're bi, gay, herosexual ect. Consider an example of this. A girl goes on the Internet and meets a person which convinced her that person as male. They became friends for a couple of years on Internet. Their relationship is strong and healthy. Turns out they began to feel "feelings" for each other. They confess.. The person tells her that he's a she. It's normal for her to feel crashed and feel negative, because she would feel she has been tricked (in a way it is). But... the question is... would she decline her? Anyway, if their love was real then she wouldn't decline her, because real love overlooks differences and instead focuses on both parties' feelings for each other. Okies anyway. Seems like your bf is being shallow. Tell him exactly how you feel about him judging you and tell him very clearly that you are not a bi. Prove him wrong if you need. A female could have and often integrates with females, people may think or say she's a lesbian but isn't that judging her? It could mean she feels comfortable being with females because she just got raped a week ago! It would be normal and natural for her to have a bad view on men... What you really gotta do is communicate and use your heart. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 It really doesn't matter if you're bi, gay, herosexual ect. Consider an example of this. A girl goes on the Internet and meets a person which convinced her that person as male. They became friends for a couple of years on Internet. Their relationship is strong and healthy. Turns out they began to feel "feelings" for each other. They confess.. The person tells her that he's a she. It's normal for her to feel crashed and feel negative, because she would feel she has been tricked (in a way it is). But... the question is... would she decline her? Anyway, if their love was real then she wouldn't decline her, because real love overlooks differences and instead focuses on both parties' feelings for each other. . Hmm, gotta say i disagree. Real love doesn't constitute the other person living a lie and deceiving the other party for all that time. That would absolutely be a valid reason to walk away from the relationship. I would do so with no guilt at all. I would never trust a person who deceived me like that, whether i developed feelings for them or not. real love doesn't overlook being lied to. And that qualifies as A HUGE LIE. Link to comment
Aleadragonhawk Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 Hmm, gotta say i disagree. Real love doesn't constitute the other person living a lie and deceiving the other party for all that time. That would absolutely be a valid reason to walk away from the relationship. I would do so with no guilt at all. I would never trust a person who deceived me like that, whether i developed feelings for them or not. real love doesn't overlook being lied to. And that qualifies as A HUGE LIE. I agree with this. There are also other things to take into consideration. For example, what if the woman wanted to have biological children with her partner, and this was a goal in her life? And how much deeper does the lie go than just about gender? What the other person did for the day? The way that people interacted with them? Their personal history? Typically when someone lies about something so important, they lie about other things - not just because they've gotten addicted to lying, but also because a thousand small lies are required to cover up for one large one. Link to comment
eurocar Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 Unless the chick never plans on having "sex" with the other chick, that is impossible if she is straight. Sexual orientation is genetic and biological. If this chick were straight (i.e. 0-1.5 or so on the Kinsey scale), she would not really find any physical attraction to the other chick. And no relationship is complete without physical intimacy, so it by definition could and would not continue. It would be sad, yes, because she had this idea that he was this awesome guy and they got along exceptionally well, but the gender thing would, unfortunately, be a dealbreaker if she were straight (and most people are). That is, of course, assuming she isn't going to force herself to try to be sexually attracted to the other chick, like gay guys do while they're in the closet and married/have a gf. Love doesn't mean much if there is no (or insignificant) physical attraction. Link to comment
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