gilfer Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 I have noticed on this forum that if a girl complains that she isnt getting oral the guy is selfish and that she should dump him or its a obligation that the guy does it, but when it comes to guys asking their female partners for blowjobs or anyone asking how to do blowjobs the first response is that the girl should not do it or he's being selfish for asking that. Major Double Standard here, if she aint giving oral, why should the guy give her oral??!! Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 I have noticed on this forum that if a girl complains that she isnt getting oral the guy is selfish and that she should dump him or its a obligation that the guy does it, but when it comes to guys asking their female partners for blowjobs or anyone asking how to do blowjobs the first response is that the girl should not do it or he's being selfish for asking that. Major Double Standard here, if she aint giving oral, why should the guy give her oral??!! LOL welcome to life my man. As someone who enjoys going done on women it never ceases to amaze me that its somehow wrong if I ask for what I want. Nothing wrong with that. I simply dont date girls who dont give head as I believe in order for me to be satisfied with a relationship the sex has to be equal or close to. But you are right. Alternatively it seems there is something wrong with a guy if he doesnt like a girl going down on him. In general at least. Link to comment
friday Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 Women are just redressing the balance.....long overdue. Theres a lot more men getting oral sex around the world this minute than women let me tell you...... Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 Women are just redressing the balance.....long overdue. Theres a lot more men getting oral sex around the world this minute than women let me tell you...... I dont see how this would "redress" past wrongs. I dont see the logic that 2 wrongs make a right. But thats jsut me. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 Haha. Well, it's up to you what you will put up with or not when you are with someone in a relationship. If she gives you a double standard, you can go with that or not. (Be prepared to give up sex with her though!) lol. It's not a gender thing. It's that some people have trouble saying what they want and sticking to it - and saying it and behaving it in a way that will get the response they want considering the person they are asking. Men and women tend to have their own preferred ways of being asked too, apart from individual preferences. A guy you can say "Do X Y and Z" and he's likely to not have a problem with that directness. A girl, it might not work that way. I'm trying to say something delicately here. Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 The giving or not giving of oral sex is not a gender thing. However the OP pointed out the responses are. Haha. Well, it's up to you what you will put up with or not when you are with someone in a relationship. If she gives you a double standard, you can go with that or not. (Be prepared to give up sex with her though!) lol. It's not a gender thing. It's that some people have trouble saying what they want and sticking to it - and saying it and behaving it in a way that will get the response they want considering the person they are asking. Men and women tend to have their own preferred ways of being asked too, apart from individual preferences. A guy you can say "Do X Y and Z" and he's likely to not have a problem with that directness. A girl, it might not work that way. I'm trying to say something delicately here. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 I can't comment then. I don't look or respond at the posts about guys not getting bjs or whatever. Not going to go there. Link to comment
k_1971 Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 Haha. If she gives you a double standard, you can go with that or not. (Be prepared to give up sex with her though!) lol. This makes me quite sad. for the life of me I cannot fathom why a woman who loves a man would would use sex as a weapon, unless she wanted to destabilise the relationship. Once a woman starts withholding sex, the rot starts to set in and cracks will appear elsewhere in the relationship. Ultimately the relationship is doomed from that point, imo. Link to comment
mrmaximum Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 This makes me quite sad. for the life of me I cannot fathom why a woman who loves a man would would use sex as a weapon, unless she wanted to destabilise the relationship. Once a woman starts withholding sex, the rot starts to set in and cracks will appear elsewhere in the relationship. Ultimately the relationship is doomed from that point, imo. The wife and I have talked about this at length and we agree that it's a good way to undermine a relationship. The funny thing is that this is what most men somewhat expect, and I find that the majority of the ones that I know don't seem surprised at this sort of attitude, it just seems a part of life that your wife dispenses sex when she wants something in return. There was even a thread about this on a forum that I used to frequent and the OP was such a biatch that even all the other posters (except two others) had said that she was asking for trouble. I've been there and done that and I can easily say that you are correct about the slow rot that happens. Do most guys expect sex to somewhat be held in front of them like a carrot once in a while, yes to be honest!! However, when you start to weaponize it for your own gain, I knew what was going on and it used to make me mad as h--l to be under someone's thumb like that. I believe that with a stance such as that it's only a matter of time before it blows up in your face!! Link to comment
gilfer Posted January 19, 2008 Author Share Posted January 19, 2008 I've been there and done that and I can easily say that you are correct about the slow rot that happens. Do most guys expect sex to somewhat be held in front of them like a carrot once in a while, yes to be honest!! However, when you start to weaponize it for your own gain, I knew what was going on and it used to make me mad as h--l to be under someone's thumb like that. I believe that with a stance such as that it's only a matter of time before it blows up in your face!! Well I've known some men who use sex as a weapon too, yes it does happen.Though in a way it does even out as guys can orgasm much easier than girls, in fact some girls cannot orgasm even with a lot of oral sex. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 That was actually my point. Though it came out horribly. Yet more from the perspective of: if a man indulges and stands by (or lays by) while a woman uses sex as the ultimate leverage/weapon in a relationship...well part of the problem is that he'd accept that in the first place. For men or women, you have to be willing to walk away if that is the case. You can't keep caving and expect it to change. Also, gotta wonder why you'd be attracted to those women in the first place. Or see the need to argue or try and change it? Link to comment
EQD Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 did you also read the posts of women who said that they can do without oral? even though they go down on their BF's?? They dont have a sense of entitlement there. Think about it, you wont have a guy posting on here that his GF doesnt want oral. Its like media bais, you are only seeing one side of things because the other side is not a problem. Most women should have a sense of balance when it comes to sex.. or at least i do Link to comment
k_1971 Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 did you also read the posts of women who said that they can do without oral? even though they go down on their BF's?? They dont have a sense of entitlement there. Think about it, you wont have a guy posting on here that his GF doesnt want oral. Its like media bais, you are only seeing one side of things because the other side is not a problem. Most women should have a sense of balance when it comes to sex.. or at least i do Actually, quite often my wife doesn't want oral and when she doesn't, I miss giving her oral. but she's never ever given me oral. how does that figure? Link to comment
EQD Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 Actually, quite often my wife doesn't want oral and when she doesn't, I miss giving her oral. but she's never ever given me oral. how does that figure? well.. it sounds like it sucks. But at least its even.. better than wanting you to give her more than she is willing to give back.. which is why some clever guy invented the "69" lol Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 the "69" lol thats my favorite. Link to comment
EQD Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 thats my favorite. isnt it great??? hahaha! Good times good times. Link to comment
k_1971 Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 wish I could persude her... Link to comment
EQD Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 wish I could persude her... well start first with why she doesnt want to.. some people have a bad past.. some people find it "dirty" because they aren't very adventerous and may have been taught by their parents in some way that all that should be avoided and was "nasty." just a "for instance" I'm sure if she tried it she would like it. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 Actually, quite often my wife doesn't want oral and when she doesn't, I miss giving her oral. but she's never ever given me oral. how does that figure? I am one of those women who would rather give oral then receive it and actually enjoy doing it. LOL Yes, i make for a great partner. LMAO. Link to comment
EQD Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 I am one of those women who would rather give oral then receive it and actually enjoy doing it. LOL Yes, i make for a great partner. LMAO. *high five* I am the same way, because i know i am good at it and it makes me feel good to show them that personally. Link to comment
k_1971 Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 we've been there. her ex kind of had a power thing over her and made her do it. so she doesn't want to. I feel kind of hurt that she did it with her ex, but won't with me. I'm working on it, but I think I am, for want of a better expression "farting against thunder" Link to comment
JadedStar Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 we've been there. her ex kind of had a power thing over her and made her do it. so she doesn't want to. I feel kind of hurt that she did it with her ex, but won't with me. I'm working on it, but I think I am, for want of a better expression "farting against thunder" Yeah but he FORCED her to do it. That can't be the same as her doing something willingly man. You need to change your mindset. IF she was forced its not like it was an enjoyable event for her. Link to comment
k_1971 Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 yeah, but she won't do it now as a result. any conversations have met an abrupt brick wall. Link to comment
EQD Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 yeah, but she won't do it now as a result. any conversations have met an abrupt brick wall. aw.. thats no good.. i can understand where she is coming from, but i eventually managed to get over it but i doubt it was as tramatic as her expiriences... hm.. Jaded any ideas? Link to comment
JadedStar Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 aw.. thats no good.. i can understand where she is coming from, but i eventually managed to get over it but i doubt it was as tramatic as her expiriences... hm.. Jaded any ideas? This is a very hard one to really get around because i can put myself in her shoes....not in this particular area but there are somethings from our past that we have developed a phobia over because of negative connotations and it is very hard to get past. I really think she should be in therapy. This isn't one of those things where a good long talk is going to make it all better. She has deeprooted phobias about this based on her abusive past. For now patience will be the best thing. It will take time for her to realize he is not the ex. Link to comment
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