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Worried. about marriage...

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I have been with the same man for 2 1/2 years and have been engaged for about a year and a half. We never really decided on a date for the wedding. Also I moved 1500 miles away from family. We are just getting married under the justice of the peace in 3 days.. until we finally move back home in 3 weeks and then start to plan a ceremony.


I fear divorce. I never want to be put through that. He tells me that he never wants to leave but sometimes I feel like he does. He is older than I am by almost 3 years and I just finally "grew up".


I have had a history of being unfaithful to him and I worry that he will hold that over my head for the rest of my life, thus resulting me to be extremely miserable. ](*,)


I am just worried.


any advice.. that can help me not to be as stressed and worried?

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If you're "stressed and worried" about getting married, maybe you are not ready to do that yet.


In the time leading up to my wedding I was feeling a lot of things...but they were all positive things -- excitement, anticipation, couldn't wait for the day to get here kinds of emotions. Definitely not "stressed and worried."


You say you have a history of cheating...have you addressed the issues that caused you to cheat? Has he truly forgiven you for those transgressions? If you are concerned he will hold that over your head in the future either you're not sure he's forgiven you OR you have not forgiven yourself.


With the issues you've brought up in just this brief post, I have to wonder if getting married now is the wisest course of action for you to take. Have you had any pre-marital counseling? If not, I would strongly suggest it. With what you've described, you are going into this with a few strikes against you before even take your vows.

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You are saying you're worried, i agree with the others, if you are worried and nervous about this, please dont go through with it because yes, divorce is a high possibility if you aren't truly ready to get married. You are only 21, you have grown a lot since you've met him, because the late teens/early 20s are years of finding what you want in life etc. If you want to think about leaving him, thats ok, but if you want to stay with him, thats ok too. I think you need more time together before making this decision. You both will be happy when you know the time is right. Apparently, if you are making this post and saying you are worried, you are obviously not ready.


Personally, if he is the type to hold things over your head a lot, please ditch him. That is manipulation and abuse, which will only make you a married basket case in a few years. My fiance's cousin is a social worker and she has seen this one too many times. Get help if you both really want the relationship to work though, it can only benefit you.

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