I am done and its time to move on

[lynxwizard]

Well I have posted my story on here with updates from time to time, she left me after 2 years to go back to her old boyfriend she was with 4 years ago who did not treat her very well, they lived together for 2 years, and 4 years before that they were together so this is her 3rd time back to him.

 

While our time together was good and I treated her great she never got over him, she is now living with him and planing to marry in March, my last post was about me seeing them together at church and I went up to them and introduced myself to him and told him I was a coworker of hers and she had told me how happy she was becasue she was back with her old boyfriend and that she told me how wounderful he was (I made this up) she looked like a deer in the headlights when I did this, I just said what I did and walked away, I guess I did it to score points, I have not heard from her. maybe I upset her.

 

She called my mom last week to say hello and said she would be mailing her a late Christmas gift, then called my buddy to catch up (they were good friends) she said she just got her phone back (her guy lost his 2 months ago and he had hers and only now she gets it back)

 

While most of my friends dont think things will work out with this guy and someday she will be looking for me I cannot hang on to that anymore, she would have so much to prove to me. how do I know she would not leave again.

 

I love her very much and I know she wanted to be friends, I have not been contacting her at all, she would sometimes email me. but I have not heard from her now for awhile.

 

My friend told her I love her very much, no sure they should of done that

 

Anyhow I have decided that I must leave this alone and move on, if she contacts me (and I am thinking she will) I am going to ignore her, unless she says she is alone and wants to try again, other than that I will never speak to her again. She loves my mom very much and is good friends with my best friend. so I am sure I will hear about her.

 

She has given me so much over the last few years, I am sad to loose my best friend, but I cannot just be a friend to her, I thought of emailing her to tell her that, but have decided just to leave it alone.

 

Letting go is so hard, I have to think she will be gone for good. and maybe I will meet someone better.

 

Thanks everyone who have read my posts

 

Allen

[dreamguy]

Allen, I understand your pain. Truly !

My previous ex (not the one I am posting about currently) left her bf to date me then, 9 months later, she dumped me to go back to him.

 

After she did that, she kept telling me "I don't love him". Like a fool I waited for her during 3 months, hoping she would change her mind. Then I met my current ex and I started dating her although my heart was not into it. I told her I was just coming out of a painful relationship and didn't want something serious but she just fell in love with me (because I was emotionally distant I guess).

 

My previous ex ended up marrying the guy for his money. Last I heard they have a baby but they are not happy and they always fight.

 

Letting go for now is the best thing you can do. You will definitely meet someone better (even if this is not what you want to hear). Maybe your ex will come back but, as you said, you won't be able to trust her and it'll take a lot of work from her side to regain your trust.

[lynxwizard]

Thanks Dreamguy for your kind words. It is so hard to let go, so many have said that is the only way she would ever come back, but most important Is letting go to get myself back.

[tushboy]

I can so feel you on this one...I'm in the exact same situation. Just walk away from the scene mate. With dignity and honour. It's very hard letting go of that hope, but you need to let it go. Actions speak louder than words, the fact that she hasn't done anything to reconcile is your answer to all the questions you ever want to ask....I too told my ex I can't be friends. We both are in NC, and I don't see ever going back to him. My love for him is just fading......

[mrmaximum]

Gotta say, you handled that very well and what you did in church, wow. Not sure if anyone will agree with me, but I think that was very cool, you could have ripped their heads off and you didn't wild!! I agree with the other posters here, chalk this one up as a learning experience and then move on. One of the things that I have learned in my old age, is that life is too difficult enough without addding more to your plate. When you are older and have kids, a mortgage, braces, car payments, car reparis, Sprogly's soccer practices and games, birthdays, weddings, and all of that, life can be a real uphill battle sometimes, without adding into it this past history of untrustworthyness on her part. You'll do better without her, find someone else worthy of your time, you'll be glad you did.

 

Take Care

[lynxwizard]

Gotta say, you handled that very well and what you did in church, wow. Not sure if anyone will agree with me, but I think that was very cool, you could have ripped their heads off and you didn't wild!! I agree with the other posters here, chalk this one up as a learning experience and then move on. One of the things that I have learned in my old age, is that life is too difficult enough without addding more to your plate. When you are older and have kids, a mortgage, braces, car payments, car reparis, Sprogly's soccer practices and games, birthdays, weddings, and all of that, life can be a real uphill battle sometimes, without adding into it this past history of untrustworthyness on her part. You'll do better without her, find someone else worthy of your time, you'll be glad you did.

 

Take Care

Yes, that was not easy for me to say to him, and even harder watching them walk away, I could of said alot of things, he does not know me, and I dont think she ever told him about me. I only wonder if what I did upset her, I may never know, my friend who knows her said someday she will remember what I did in a good way.

 

They say if you love someone truley you let them go, she is following her feelings and I cannot hate her for that, I think she is making a mistake and will get burned but she thinks not and I guess thats all that matters.

 

I guess if she does not try again with him she will never know.

 

I truly love her so I am giving her the gift of me letting her go.