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feelings for friend


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Hi, I would like to know your views on this..


I have a guy friend Ive been close to for almost 2 years.It began as a normal friendship where we used to share our joys and troubles. I started developing feelings for him slowly. To the extent that I would get upset if we dint speak for a day. He's a great guy and had been single for a long time. I was afraid of confessing my feelings since I din't want to lose the friendship. Recently, we met for dinner where he told me that he has started seeing another girl. It just broke my heart there and he being close to me understood that something was amiss. I ended up telling him about my feelings. He said he wasn't expecting something like this from my end and was quite upset himself.I vented out my anger and frustration at the situation. He told me that he never saw me as more than a close friend and he dint want to give me any hopes.I suggested that we should end things but he isnt' ready for it. He says, we cant just throw away a great friendship for this reason. He said he'l help me overcome this and is being supportive with the whole thing.He asked me to take my time to heal and then pick up the pieces of our friendship. I tried being away from him but it only ended up making me feel more miserable since he has been my rock all this time. Ironically, he's the one who's been listening to my rantings and frustrations with this situation patiently.

I'm beginning to accept the fact that there cannot be a future for us. I'm still confused whether it is possible to revert back to our old situation with time? what do u think I should do?

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Sometimes friends get busy with their own lives and don't speak for a month or so. Why not take a month of no contact or even very low contact to sort your head out. It is hard to shut off feelings and the more you talk to him at this point, the harder it is going to be on you, especially since he has started seeing someone else. Your first priority is you right now and if that means not contacting him for a while in order to deal with your feelings, I am sure he would understand.

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I have a very similar situation and hearing it through someone else is so very different from being in it myself. In my situation, he knows how much I love him and also claims that he sees me as no more than a best friend. The thing is, he has the girlfriend part of me....in all situations. I don't treat my friends like I treat him and yet he doesn't have to give up any boyfriend part of him. How is that at all fair? Don't let that happen to you if you can help it at all. I've tried to break the friendship off at least 5 or 6 times since June and every time he has begged me not to do it. I try NC but have never made it past more than 3 or 4 days. He makes me happy and I feel loved when I am with him...somehow I justify it all in my head when I know I should listen to the people on this forum and lay my rules out there for him, but its difficult.

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