Didnt think this would happen to me

[skold12]

This is sudo long....

 

 

Ok, well the story is a bit complicated but good as well, then agian its a little heartbreaking. I have been single for a few months, and really made strides to correct alot of myself and such. In this process I really wasnt looking for anyone, and kind of was kinda ok with the single thing. Then a girl that I had a crush on for a little over a year makes a move on me, and I embrace it, but with a tad of restraint. This girl is my friends ex, and they had gone out for 8 years prior. Now normally, I would write this off as not anything serious, because I would assume that this is a rebound sort of thing. But, it really doesnt look like that, and she seems very very intersted, and as do I. But, with it being my friends ex (whom he still has feelings for) I dont know what the best move is. We have a great time, like amazing time together, but I have that guilt in the back of my head about my friend, and how he may or may not react about the whole situation. On top of that, my friends as well. We are taking it pretty slow to see if this relationship is going to flourish, before making a big deal about it.

 

So if that wasnt enough, I tell my best friend, who happens to be a ex from 3 years ago, and she is now throwing herself at me. She thinks or thought, that we were gong to flourish some relationship, or second try, and fro awhile I thought the same thing, but after staying single for awhile, and emotionly detaching myself from the whole dating thing, I grew stronger wiht her as a friend, and I dont want to compermise that. But now I have this thrown into the mix as well. I really dont know what to do now. I dont wan to hurt my ex, but then agian I want to be selfish and happy, and develop a realtionship with the girl I met. But then, If I go out with her, alot of trouble can be raised because we are together. She is not only my friends ex, but my other friends sister......yea I know. My last option is to do nothing, but both will be hurt, including myself. I am leaning towards The girl I met with 90 percent drive, but I dont want to hurt anyone as well, including her.

[krnelson2]

Ha..I am kind of in the same situation right now, minus the ex part. I am actually going on a date tonight with a girl that I've had a crush on for awhile. She dated one of my friends, actually two of my friends in the past but one was in high school. Basically the most recent friend of mine that she dated cheated on her and they broke up.

 

I have been having reservations about dating her as it may make things awkward between my friend and I..but I had an epiphony one day...

 

Dont worry about what others will think..the way I see it is that my friend and this girl had a great relationship and he f'd it up...his choice. He could have chose to be loyal and they would still be together, but he didnt. This wasnt my fault or the girl in question. I am now willing however to risk the awkwardness to be with her. If he doesnt understand then he might not be that great of a friend right?

 

As for you...Dont worry about what your friends think right now...her brother obviously didnt have a problem with your friend dating her right. There is a reason they broke up and that is in the past. Go for her.

 

As for your ex, I would make it very clear that you dont want anything but friendship and that you have another person in mind. Dont risk what you have with this girl to make the same mistakes with your ex, you both say things have changed but I think you would be pretty disappointed to learn that they may not have changed as much as you thought. Things very well could go back to how they were and then you will have lost this new girl (it sounds like you like her a lot and get along great) to try and mend a broken relationship that may never last.

[ghost69]

first of all, you have a lot of 'ex' stuff around you. bad karma. you need to keep exs away. staying friends with exs and telling them about new potential SOs isn't good. your ex is throwing herself at you now cause she looks at you as 'hers'. while she might not have intense feelings for you, she is getting jealous.

 

also, i'd tell your friend about his ex liking you and you liking her back and considering going for something. you don't want to lose a good friend's respect do you?