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Help: I'm useless at reading women and progressing relationships


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I am completely useless at dating and would appreciate some advice about a girl that I have gone on two dates with. Here's the situation:


She was in highschool with me and there was an attraction back then but nothing happened because of the age gap. recently my friend met her and she asked about me. He then got her number for me. She was in a serious 5 year relationship (bought a house together etc.) but walked out on her ex two months ago. So we met for the first time in 10 years. She looks amazing and the first date went really well. We got quite drunk by the end and she ended up coming home with me (though nothing happened). The following day she sent me an sms saying she had a great time. We met for a second, alcohol-free date 5 days later (last wednesday). We got on really well but I did feel a little bit of reluctance when I went to kiss her. I am not sure if this was in my head or not. I left it four days until saturday, before sending her a message to see how she was. She waited hours before sending a brief reply, giving nothing away.


I left it until last night (4 days) before sending her another message, asking her on a third date. she said she is unavailable this weekend but the following weekend she is free. I tried to get some text conversation going but again she waited hours before replying and her replies were short, as if she was uninterested. I am not sure how to read this. To be honest, I am useless at reading women. I come accross as very self confident and she said this to me, but deep down i struggle with the whole dating thing.


I really like her but am not sure where to go from here or if I'm wasting my time. I feel that if I get another date with her the whole thing could develop. She is quite a confident and non-emotional person. It might be a lack of interest but she is keeping her distance for whatever reason. I understand that she has just broken up with someone and I would like to keep things very light for the moment. A date here and there and just a bit of fun really. I really want to call her next week to confirm the next date but am afraid she doesnt want anything to do with me. really not sure how to approach this. advice would be greatly appreciated.


Thanks, Dave

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I don't like it that she's not being more eager. I don't blame you for being a little disconcerted. Its a bit early to tell...perhaps she isn't sure about how she feels about you. Keep up with the wooing but if she changes her mind don't take it personal. It could go either way...

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Let me see if I got this straight: You have a date set up with her for next weekend? I would call --Not text--around mid week to confirm.


What's with all the text messaging?...it can be sooo misinterpreted, obviously. Don't sweat it, the fact that she offered up her free weekend was a good sign. Maybe she did not feel the text messages were very important and so she took her time. Who knows.


Let us know how the date goes.

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Dave- Its you that is being tentative- not her. You waited 4 days before you asked her out again- then when you did- you sent an impersonal text message. All wrong- you should have called her up the next morning to tell her how m,uch you enjoyed the evening. And then- even if you didn't have a specific event in mind- you should have asked her about next saturday- And I say ASK- not tell. She is still a free agent with lots of options presumeably- You can still be confofdent without being presumptious. As far as reading women- put yourself in her place. You go out with a guy, enjoy yourself, interested an another date----and what happens- You have to wait 4 days- as if he's trying to decide if he enjoyed the date. Not difficult Dave.

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I think I need to be a bit more brave and just call her next tuesday/wednesday. Its unusual for me to be this nervous about dating someone but maybe its because I actually like her. Wish I could behave the way I do with a girl when I know its only a bit of fun. Need to relax about the whole thing. Hopefully its not to late. If it is, life goes on.

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quote: Its unusual for me to be this nervous about dating someone but maybe its because I actually like her.


So Demented, does this mean that the people you usually date you don't like and hence are not nervous???


That does not flush- you must like a person in order to want to spend time with them. I'd start this thing all over again. Call her and tell her what you told us- Ask her out, be her friend first- don't even think about sex until you are friends- and you find yourseld caring for each other. Women do not want to be rushed here. Further advice available.

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I tried to get some text conversation going but again she waited hours before replying and her replies were short, as if she was uninterested. I am not sure how to read this.


You can't get a conversation going via text. Maybe it's a personal pet peeve, but I can't stand hitting the "7" key four times to type an "s"! That's not a way to converse!


If you want to have a conversation, call her.

Text is ok if you're running late, or just want to say a quick hello, little stuff like that.


I don't see a problem calling her next week to confirm plans.

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Text is lazy. That's my professional opinion.


Pick up the phone and call....



^^^^^ +1 Billion. I can't stand texting for anything other than "Can I pick up something at the grocery store?" Texting is NO way to try to converse with someone you're interested in.


A huge pet-peeve... people should have their Txting abilities shut off when they get interested in someone. A relationship is based on communication. How the heck can you communicate your interest via text?


Like u alot. Go out tmrw? L8r.

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