Ocean 22 Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 My last relationship which was the most powerful that I have ever had that ended about 6 months ago and that I am finally starting to get over has led me to feel that for the next year during my 27th year, that I just want to take some time and be with no one but myself. Is this normal and at the age that I am, am I making a mistake to take time off or will there still be a good chance to find love and marriage etc.? Link to comment
robert7x Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 i wish i felt like you... but in my head i just keep getting the message that i'm getting older and i need to find a girl or it will be too late... If you feel like doing that, then go for it... Link to comment
-BK- Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 You have PLENTY of time. I'm 37 and don't think I should rush into anything. In order to fall in love with someone and have a healthy relationship, you need to love your own life and yourself. I guess different parts of the country/world have different stigmas on age and marriage, but where I live there are plenty of 30-somethings that are still single. Please don't rush... Link to comment
1HelluvaGirl Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Take time off if you need to. There is nothing worse than trying to go on dates and meet people when your heart is not into it. You're not ruining your chances of finding love by taking a break from the dating scene. In fact, you may be enhancing your chances! I know it sounds silly, but think of it this way: If you date right now and you are not 100% over your last relationship, you may end up hurting whomever you are dating (simply due to your heart not being fully in it). You also may be attracted to people right now who may not be good for you (e.g. compatible in the long run). You may not know you are doing this, but it can be a way to subconsciously shield yourself from getting hurt again. I have done this -- Pick people who I don't really care about and then I won't care if they hurt me. Take some time and just focus on your friendships and enjoying life. Love will present itself when you are ready. Link to comment
Andy_2007 Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 I'm gonna join BK here in giving the over thirties point of view on this one I certainly don't intend to rush into another relationship either. While you get that part of you that thinks 'I must find someone else!', it's best not to listen to it...Partially because it's part of not being over your ex yet! Words of wisdom: You can only be happy in a relationship with someone else when you're happy with who you are and you know you don't 'need' someone to complete you. That way lies madness! Whether your 25, 35, 45 or older, love comes round again no matter how scared you are it won't. I'll cheerfully admit that I do miss having an SO at the moment...but I'm also well aware of the fact that a large part of that is missing sex There's nothing wrong with being on your own for a bit...don't let anyone (or the bloody media...though that's a whole topic in itself) tell you different. Link to comment
robert7x Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 I'm gonna join BK here in giving the over thirties point of view on this one Words of wisdom: You can only be happy in a relationship with someone else when you're happy with who you are and you know you don't 'need' someone to complete you. That way lies madness! I dont think I really know how to be happy and not be in a relationship... In my thread i posted this also... Every thread or post i read it says the following: "Remember the times when you were single and happy, you can have that back with N/C." I don't remembe times when i was single and happy... I don't think i ever was... i'm happy when in relationship and that's why it's so difficult for me when i loose someone. Link to comment
circi Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 I dont think I really know how to be happy and not be in a relationship... In my thread i posted this also... Every thread or post i read it says the following: "Remember the times when you were single and happy, you can have that back with N/C." I don't remembe times when i was single and happy... I don't think i ever was... i'm happy when in relationship and that's why it's so difficult for me when i loose someone. It is very important that you learn to be single and happy. Since you've never been single for very long it looks like now is your chance! Link to comment
robert7x Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 It is very important that you learn to be single and happy. Since you've never been single for very long it looks like now is your chance! But where do I start with all that? I'm 25 now... will be 26 in about 8 months or so... I'm just getting older I feel like time is running out on me... How do i Learn to do that... Are there any inputs on that subject? I tell you it doesn't help that all of my friends and pretty much anyone i know is in a relationship... It really doesn't help at all... Is there some kind of guide to achiving this said problem? Thanks Link to comment
-BK- Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 But where do I start with all that? I'm 25 now... will be 26 in about 8 months or so... I'm just getting older I feel like time is running out on me... How do i Learn to do that... Are there any inputs on that subject? I tell you it doesn't help that all of my friends and pretty much anyone i know is in a relationship... It really doesn't help at all... Is there some kind of guide to achiving this said problem? Thanks I read this book and got quite a bit out of it: "Moving On: Dump Your Relationship Baggage and Make Room for the Love of Your Life" by Russell Friedman and John W. James It can't hurt to get some outside advice... and it keeps your mind busy. Link to comment
-BK- Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 P.S. You are only as old as you let yourself feel! Link to comment
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