How boring of a relationship is too boring?

[QuestionHeart]

Ok, they say that over time things will get boring, you wont have those long fascinating conversations anymore. But, how boring is too boring? How boring is it supposed to get? Is it normal to have days when the only thing you want to talk about is whether or not to have sex?

 

How boring is too boring?

[greensleeves]

You're still having sex....so that's a good sign I think that only you can tell when it's too boring. If you still love the person you're with then maybe you've just reached a comfort zone. Maybe start going out on dates again (?)

[Raiden]

Boring, to me, would be when the two of us go over the same conversational ground over, and over and over.

[Batya33]

Boring may be because the person who is bored is not doing enough to make his own life interesting.

[Raiden]

Boring may be because the person who is bored is not doing enough to make his own life interesting.

 

Or

 

Boring may be because the person who is bored is not doing enough to make her own life interesting.

[annie24]

i think everyone has their own definition of boring. what's boring to one person may be cozy and comfortable to the next. some people need constant excitement and surprises, and others are content with a predictable relationship.

[JadedStar]

Ok, they say that over time things will get boring, you wont have those long fascinating conversations anymore. But, how boring is too boring? How boring is it supposed to get? Is it normal to have days when the only thing you want to talk about is whether or not to have sex?

 

How boring is too boring?

 

 

Sounds like you are entering a rut. I suggest change of scenery. COuples get complacent very easy over time - routine sets in and takes precedence. Schedule time together to go out and do different things....you are not going to get closer coming home and plopping down doing the same routine that you always do. You need to be CREATIVE.

 

People who are creative are almost always bored less. You don't have to be a creative genius, just think about it and plan some activities - at least once a week - for you both to go out and do something different. Even if it is as simple as going out to dinner and sitting accross from each other in a booth, and grabbing her hand and telling her she is beautiful, and having a conversation - just the two of you like no one else is even around. Or if you are a girl, do the same only telling him how much you appreciate him. Men love to feel appreciated.

[alcide]

Ok, they say that over time things will get boring, you wont have those long fascinating conversations anymore. But, how boring is too boring? How boring is it supposed to get? Is it normal to have days when the only thing you want to talk about is whether or not to have sex?

 

How boring is too boring?

 

To be thinking of whether or not to have sex oh no that relationship is dead.

[RayKay]

Yeah, if that was all we talked about most days, I would say I would be rather bored.

 

After that comment, let me say however that boredom is as boredom does Most times it is not the "relationship" that is boring, but the people involved in that relationship.

 

I think I must stress this about ten times a day on these forums - but you do not stop growing as an individual just because you are part of a couple. Too man people expect their partner to be responsible for making their life exciting or interesting, or making them happy. That is just not fair to your partner, or healthy.

 

I can honestly say that while my partner and I are comfortable with one another (and live together so we really are into a "routine" of sorts) I am not bored by him, or us. as I learn more about him everyday, I make the choice to learn more about him everyday. We are both pretty interesting people I would say, and often are trying new things not only together, but on our own - we have our own hobbies, interests and goals, as long as relationship goals. As my boyfriend once said, we have enough common interests to have fun together & get along, and enough differences to keep things interesting and learn from one another. If you are always growing as people, it's hard to get bored with the other as a person, or the relationship itself.

 

It is important to also take the time to connect with one another on other levels aside from what bills to pay, which chores need to be done and who left the milk out....go on dates, try new hobbies together, set aside time to talk about you day, ask questions about things you know your partner likes and show your interest in getting to know them...and on and on....don't take one another, or the relationship for granted, thinking you know everything there is about them and that by doing "nothing" love will still keep growing - love needs to be nourished in actions rather than just relying on feelings that were there early on (that required no effort).