I dont know how 2 say its over---PLS help me

[DGirl]

I was just married one year this past weekend. I think I can say this has been the worst year of my life. A lot of bad things have happened between me & my husband this year. Just a few examples.....he posted a singles add on line for himself, he is always lying, he has no responsabilities at all, he is always lying, hes has no financial future at all, did i mention he is always lying?????? I have just had enough! I dont believe a word he says! I do not trust him at all!

 

I began counseling about 3 months ago and she helped me realize that my marriage is over & I just need to leave. But for some reason I always have an excuse! It was our 1 yr anniversary, thanksgiving is coming, then it will be christmas, then new years.....etc! What is my problem? I just want to say it is over and I dont know how! This is tearing me apart because marriage is supposed to be forever but I just cant find it in my heart to forgive him! We have been together for 8 yrs and I never thought I would have to say goodbye, but I think its time. Please help me! I dont know what to do! But I know I cant take much more of this mentaly!

[Tonk]

Hi DGirl,

 

I feel for you. I spent eight years in a marriage in which the last 4 got worse and worse we were still best friends but it was as if we were on different planets. We both got distant, tried to make it work but sometimes you need to let go. We tried to make it work under some misguided assumption that once your married you can work through anything and if you have failed if you cant make it work. Ok there may be things you can do differently but some relationships are not going to work. Dont get trapped into this situation I left it too late it nearly cost me everything my business, health, friends etc I became so down.

 

Your situation sounds different in that your husband seems to be not really in the relationship. Break ups are never easy but you need to be prepared to ensure you come through it and out the other side as strong as possible. You have to try to look at things from the outside and try not to let emotions take over. I think the best thing is to try and lay out a plan of what you are going to do then do it. But trust me you need to get things in motion the problems are not going to go away.

 

best of luck

[Gilgamesh]

Hello DGirl

 

Sorry things didnt work out with you and your hubby.

 

It seems to me you tried just about all you can do with him. what you need to understand is he is responsable for his actions, you are not.

 

I know it hurts, you want to , or wish things were the way you thought they would be, but the reality of the matter is, they never were and will probably never be the way you imagined them to be.

 

I doubt this will do any good, and will most likely prolong the inevitable, but you may want to try a seperation first, to see what he does, he may try and change his ways. but to tell ya the truth, I dont think he will, what he will most likely do is just try and lie himself back into your life again.

 

The real reason I suggest this, is more for your sake, so that when you do get the divorce, you "know" that you tried everything, and there is no reason to ever look back, or feel regrets.

 

But your right to want to leave him. you just cant live your life unhappy like that. you deserve a honest man that will treat you with love and respect. you will find him eventually.

 

take care, and good luck.

[Shyguy24]

HI

 

 

i know that this world is cruel enough but dont comprimise on this relationship

 

yeah marriage is sacred but if it a marriage , in which the husband loves his wife ;

 

not here , i think u have to be strong and get rid of this guy , who does nothing for you !!

 

him a singles add !!

 

love and care dont comprimise on it !!

[Cid]

I hate to say this but you need to leave him he is just hurting you. Say to your self that this is over and go up to him and say we need to get a devorce.

[DGirl]

Thank you all so much for your advice. I'm trying my hardest but I just cant get those words past my lips. It is so bad that I dream about it every night and wake up wondering if it really happened or not. Hopefully I will get the courage up soon! Thanx again!!