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project...very nervous and frustrated


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Hi-

I was recently assigned an english project. It is a team project, yet there is one girl who is not doing anything or offering to do anything to help us out. My friend and I are totally frustrated becasue this project is ALOT of work and we need her help. She' s not really a mean person, but its frustrating how lazy she is. I dont want to hurt her, but how can I tell her she needs to contribute because this is work load is REALLY OVERWHELMING!!!

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Don't wait for her to take initiative - talk to your other friend, divide things up and give her, and each of you, a specific list of what she needs to do before you guys meet the next day for the next step. Then if you guys have yours, and hers is missing, it'll be easier to point out directly she needs to do her part ON TIME or she's holding up progress since there's so much to be done. I don't know how long you have to complete it - but you can try it a second time, and if she still hasn't done anything, tell her bluntly that you really like her as a person, but this is the same as a professional or business relationship, you're not willing to carry her for the grade (basically earn her grade for her), and not willing to get a bad grade because she won't work either; and if she can't do her part you will have to talk to the teacher.

 

That's not being mean or unfair at all - you wouldn't give her the answers to a test she hadn't studied for, and you shouldn't have to earn a grade for her on this either. If you don't want to go to the teacher directly, you can always talk to the counselor and see if he/she has any alternative suggestions.

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hey, i had a similar situation once. it is common to have SOMEONE in the group who does not cooperate. i once had to do a lab for chemistry class. it was in partners, they always are. and so, my only partner... she didnt do anything! she didnt even remember and spent the whole weekend doing i dont know what. i didnt want to call her expecting she would go online on msn or call me instead. when the day came to hand in the lab papers i had done all the work and so i gave it to the teacher. the girl was throwing a party that friday for her fifteenth birthday. it was in a hotel cause here in puerto rico the fifteenth birthday is what the sweet sixteen is to americans. i could care less and just when i was to hand it in she came to me with the "im sorry"look on her face. k, so im not that mean, i gave her the opportunity, her name was also in the paper. she showed she was regretful and i knew she would do it anyways. she told me to hand it in and tell the teacher to give individual credit. with this attitude i decided to give it in as it was with both names. u see, it would not have been wrong either if i had handed it in with my name and telling the teacher to evaluate the work individually. it would have been fair. but i guess it's a more personal decision. i took my decision based on the idea that she would learn her lesson, because we forget stuff... and eventually the same thing happened to me... only that my partner reminded me early enough to work on the lab papers... i had not brought my lab notebook with me for the weekend and i had to totally depend on her information! do to others what you would like people to do to you. but you know, if my 2nd partner had not given me the chance i would have accepted it as something fair also. so give it some thought, it is fair for you to take any of the two decisions, but make sure no one is taking advantage of you either. if your friend doesnt know how to hold a professional grudge out of the relationship, then she is NOT being mature, for she is not taking responsability of her actions.

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