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Hmmm...How should I approach this


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Ok, so this is my first post in this forum.

Considering the fact that I have been living in the "Healing after Breakup and Divorce" forum for the last 7 months, i'd say this is a good sign...lol.


So, there is this girl who works at the deli that I go to for lunch all the time.

I have been talking to her here and there for about a year now. I was in a serious relationship up until May, so I never even thought about asking her out. I always thought she was cute though.


So, anyway, I finally feel like I am ready to date again so the last couple of times I have gone in there I have tried to strike up a conversation with her.

So far, it has gone well. Sometimes I have trouble telling if she likes me or she is just being nice. Today I walked in and when I got to the counter I smiled and said "hi" and she smiled right back and said "hi". I think I was feeling the vibe from her for sure.


I want to ask her for her number... here's the thing.

First of all, this sounds silly, but the place she works at is a family deli. I am pretty sure that the people in there are all related somehow (or most of them). So, I feel weird, like maybe her father is standing at the end of the counter with a meat cleaver in his hand..lol.


Second, well, the older I get, the harder it is for me to tell how old girls are. I know that sounds stupid, but when I was 25 I could tell if a girl was 19 or if she was 24 just by looking at her.

As I get older, it's harder for me to tell. I am almost positive she is in her 20's though.

My ex was 25 and acted like a 14 year old sometimes. I have been trying to meet women that are closer to my age online (like 28-35) just because I think we might have more in common as far as what stage of life we are in right now.


Ok, so if I had to guess, I would say that she is probably around 25 years old.



So, what do you guys/gals think I should/could do to find out (without being too um... calling attention around her family?) to find out if


a)she is single

b)she isn't too young

c)she might like to give me her number


I know the answer is probably... "Uh, yeah, just ask her" lol....


I am not the smoothest when it comes to asking out the ladies... Although she did tell me her name today (after I asked her..) then I said thanks (for the food) and left and got outside before realizing that I forgot to tell her my name!


I was nervous... and there were customers behind me... heh heh.

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when u see her again. go up and sit down. 'hey ____, i forgot to tell you my name. i'm ____.' then see how the conversation goes after that. try and get into some more personal topics. then go for a phone number if you are feelin it. tell her you'd like to take her out for a coffee.

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"hey are you single? "yes why?" "well theres a guy i know who you would really like to meet you, maybe you should have a cup of coffee with him sometime!" "well why don't we head down to starbucks after your break and i'll tell you about him"


If your nervous askin for her number, ask for her email. lower risk. in fact i always ask for email addresses. Works better for me.

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Hey man don't worry I'm 25 and I still can't tell age differences properly


In any case, well first of all try to go on a time where the place won't be so crowded since if there's a lot of people waiting in the line both you and her will feel pressured and she could also get into trouble.


Now having covered that, try to sound relaxed, as more of a casual thing and if you know some people that she may also know it's good if you can suggest a group get together kinda thing so she won't feel too nervous as an 1 on 1 date.


Now usually when I go out with a girl I always go with the "lets be friends" approach, now if she ditches you afterwards and throws you the oh so painful "lets just be friends" you already were in those terms so you'll save face.


Also if you need more info try to befriend someone else first, so they can give you all the info you require, it's like having a little friendly spy that can give you a hand and of course it works wonders.


Good luck man.

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Thanks guys,


Yeah, the idea of a "friend" on the inside... you know, someone who could give me more info about her did cross my mind. That might be a problem if they are all family though... you know, blood being thicker and all that. I would rather that she find out that I like her from me..(though I think she might have an idea already).


I always pay with a debit card, so I was thinking maybe I could just write on the receipt something like "Would you like to go out with me sometime?" or something like that. That way, I could ask her without her getting into trouble at work. There aren't any tables to eat in the place. It's really more of a butcher shop than a deli, so it's kind of like...you order, then you leave.


Does that sound like a lame approach?

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