Sheepx3 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Alright, I'll start off by saying this. I'm 17, and my gf is 15(turning 16 soon). We've been dating for almost a month and a half. The problem is I constantly start fights with her over little things. Mostly because her friends(which are all guys). I just don't trust them, and I don't know who to believe anymore. I've never felt this way for anyone, and I don't want to lose her, but I don't know what to do. I try to tell her I'm sorry for always fighting, she won't believe me because I've said it so many times. I need help. Please.:sad: Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Ok you don't trust her friends but you trust HER right? If you trust her then that's all that matters. I understand that you've never felt this way for someone before. But you're only 17 and she's only 15. Don't stress over relationships at such a young age. Link to comment
blender Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Okay, remember that you allowing yourself to feel fearful over her having friendships is your issue, and you would be most likely feeling this way no matter who the girl was in your life. So it's up to you to try to break your "pattern/habit" of causing drama in the relationship. So intead of saying "sorry" again, try to NOT ALLOW YOURSELF to follow the pattern of bringing up issues that are not really important, remember when you "FEEL" jealous or fearful, that is a FEELING, it's not based on a FACT that she is cheating or doing something wrong. Although you might not feel trust for "those guy friends" of hers, well you must and should trust HER, and respect the fact that she is a loving, outgoing, kind girl whom you care for and hope to build a long relationship with, and you will only have the opportunity to do so if you can trust her and respect her friendships. If you discover that you just can't deal with her having "guy friends' then you will have to realize that this is your issue, and one that you can try to understand the "why" of.. why are you feeling insecure? Maybe it's based on some of your own life, your own family, or something you can work through by choosing a different behavior, and by NOT "constantly starting fights" in a way to provoke her into having to reassure you and defend herself, because that will get very old pretty quick for her and soon enough you will both get tired of this unhealthy "pattern/habit" and lose what it is you really want, and that is to trust, care and respect each other. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 gotta trust her man. it's easy to get jealous of guys around your girl. i used to do this back in the day. but then i came to the rationale, if she does anything, she is expendable. and i've never had a problem with guys around. Link to comment
Sheepx3 Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 Thanks everyone, but the thing is about her friends is that they constantly touch her where they shouldn't be. Thats why I get so frustrated so often. I trust her with my life, but the thing is shes to outgoing and shes a partier(which I am not, I'm actually shy and I don't like drinking). Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Thanks everyone, but the thing is about her friends is that they constantly touch her where they shouldn't be. Thats why I get so frustrated so often. they touch her where they shouldn't? and does she stop them? does she say anything? Link to comment
Sheepx3 Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 She tells me she does, but they keep doing it. I told her that if they were her true friends they wouldn't do it. They would respect her and the fact that she has a bf. Another thing she does is she hides things from me. Last night I knew something was wrong and I tried to talk to her, but she refused to tell me. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 how do you mean 'touch her'? like poke her arm, tickle? sounds to me like you don't trust her completely if she is hiding things. i know i wouldn't be with a girl like this. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Your answer: She's still a little girl. She is still a kid. She is only 15 going on 16. Once you wrote all these other things about her, it all made sense. She likes the attention that she is getting from her male friends or else it wouldn't be happening. What 15 year old girl wouldn't? Girls at this age don't care. I remember being 15 . . . I loved attention from boys. I didn't care. I didn't want a boyfriend tying me down. You've invested one month. It's not like you're going to be with this girl for the rest of your life. I say dump her. And live your single, high school life. Link to comment
Sheepx3 Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 No, not poke or tickle. Slap her ass, and bite her boobs kinda touching. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 No, not poke or tickle. Slap her ass, and bite her boobs kinda touching. bite her boobs? ok im sorry but thats a little personal and if you wanted to stop someone from doing that you could. it's clear that she's not. it's clear that she likes the attention. AGAIN like I said. DUMP HER! Link to comment
Sheepx3 Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 I can't, I already did and I literally wanted to die. The thing is I've tried to tell them to stop, but since they all live 9 miles away from me and I don't drive I can't really do anything besides get pissed all the time. Link to comment
havefaith Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 You can, and you should. Just do it or continue to disrepect yourself by staying with a girl who is essentially cheating on you... Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 I can't, I already did and I literally wanted to die. honey - you are SEVENTEEN 17 years old!!! you can't really think that this girl was going to be the 'one' i know how girls are at this age - i used to be one, hello! you have your entire life ahead of you and once you get out there into the real world - outside of highschool you'll understand what I am talking about. this girl does not care about you. Link to comment
Sheepx3 Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 The thing is when we're together, we always have a good time. We're never to far apart and she always cuddled in my arms. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 The thing is when we're together, we always have a good time. We're never to far apart and she always cuddled in my arms. of course you have a good time. of course you cuddle. but what she does with her male friends is inappropriate. you've expressed that you don't like it, and it continues. everything that is going on she can control. the breasts are a personal place. you can stop someone from touching them ... and biting them ... that takes some time ... and if she didn't want people biting her boobs she could certainly stop them. she is a little girl who is getting male attention and enjoying it. there isn't much more advice i can offer you Sheep. you have to be able to look OUTSIDE the box. take it from people who are much older and wiser than you. i hope you realize what is going on here. good luck. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 sounds like she likes the attention. i know if i was playing around with a gf and went to bite her boobs she has plenty of time to move out of the way or push me back. this is a bs excuse. 'they just won't stop.' i don't believe it anymore. Link to comment
Sheepx3 Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 Not when they hold her down. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Not when they hold her down. thats going wayyyyyyyy beyond the 'friends' category she wouldn't continue to see/hang out with these little pervs if she wasn't enjoying herself. ahhhh this is soooo frusturating. you are trying to justify her actions! Link to comment
Sheepx3 Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 I'm TRYING not to lose her. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 justifying her actions is not going to erase these things. you are trying to make a positive out of a complete negative here. and this isn't that type of situation. you don't want to open your eyes here and thats really sad. but you will learn. your still young, so learn from your mistakes. Link to comment
Sheepx3 Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 The main thing that bothers me is that whenever her friends do something and I complain about it she says their just her friends. I'm under so much stress right now, that I just want to give up with everything. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 she needs to call rape or something on these guys. that is waaay beyond friends. and bs on her part to say it's cool. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 The main thing that bothers me is that whenever her friends do something and I complain about it she says their just her friends. I'm under so much stress right now, that I just want to give up with everything. i can't comprehend why you are trying to justify her actions as if they are ok. you need some help beyond my advice. so i wish you my best. i am leaving this thread. Link to comment
Sheepx3 Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 I'm not really saying their ok, I just ignore them. Link to comment
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